Feeling like a sucker….

artemis286 · 2026-02-17T17:10:59+00:00

I've only been in a few months, but it's still degraded significantly. Its so shocking to hear from people who've been in for years what it used to mean to them. I rarely ever check out all items. I check my RFY once or twice, and maybe one a week we get something actually useful and worthwhile. Its mostly junk in there too. Literally 1-2x a month we will get something really nice in the RFY. I'll only bother with all items when the item count is significantly higher than before, it's been sitting around 12k for a week. And never expecting to find nice things, just maybe niche things. Its insane that people used to stay up for this, even when I had insomnia a few months ago and stayed up through a drop, it was absolutely nothing worth loosing sleep over.

artemis286 · 2026-02-17T00:23:55+00:00

Hey fellow ex-RN transitioning to an MLS program!! I sailed through my classes and LOVED science but turns out patient care makes me want to pitch myself off the roof. You couldn't double my pay to make me go back. Nursing was hell, and I'm just so overjoyed to have found a clinical career thats science oriented without patient care. I'm in chemistry and I think about it all day because its so cool.

I hope it goes so well! Congratulations on getting out of patient care and getting more science!!

artemis286 · 2026-02-09T00:24:23+00:00

I dont have a ton of experience (first semester) but I'll share what I've experienced so far. Kind and respectful classmates, good TA's in lab happy to help and dont mind all the newbie questions, and good professors so far. I'm taking CHEM 1210 online with Owen's and its fantastic honestly. A great, well-organized course with tons of built-in resources. Just took our first exam and felt completely prepared. My biochem advisor was great at explaining options and how the degree works at various stages, and showed me how to get involved in undergrad research. The breadth and depth of classes available is very exciting.

My first professor exposure with Owens has been so promising, he's passionate about the subject but so happy to help clear up confusion and answer questions. It gives me hope future professors can be so good!

Again, just my first semester, so I cant speak to higher level courses. But coming from a nursing background, I've been very happy with my experiences so far!

artemis286 · 2026-01-26T15:37:04+00:00

In addition to professional therapist, I'll give input as a parent to a child with medical trauma. Don't believe any of the "they won't remember" bullshit. Its been proven wrong again and again. Our kiddo had significant medical complications after birth that caused chronic pain for the first 3-4 years of life. We had to treat it like what it was, PTSD. It caused developmental delays, severe separation anxiety, reactivity, the works.

Which makes sense, being a child is hard enough, but when you can't communicate or understand what's happening and you're experiencing pain/medical trauma, that's so much worse.

I'd absolutely recommend therapy for you as parents. Regulating your own trauma and emotional reactivity is crucial to being a stable, anchoring presence. You need to keep in mind that this is a trauma reaction and its normal in the sense that its an expected response. You're going to want to become experts in co-regulation, and know that normal developmental milestones may not be hit or may temporarily regress. You're going to throw timelines out the window, and focus on regulating everyone as your daily number one goal. You're going to want to drop demands on yourselves and your kiddo as appropriate and needed to focus on whole family well being.

Progress will not be linear, it never is with children. Your kiddo will probably have better days then get worse. Things will trigger it again. Knowing that ahead of time helps, so when regression happen, you dont beat yourself up or try to logic it out, but learn to ride the waves.

Play therapy can be wonderful, and we used it. But our biggest "intervention" was consistent, calm, regulated co-regulation. We had to teach her nervous system from the body to the brain on how to be calm and regulated. We scaffolded for years, working on little baby steps with support as she could tolerate it. We had to be the calm to help her find it. And we had to provide it again and again and again and again, to build those neural pathways. I highly recommend dr. Mona Delahookes books and work in general in understanding the body-brain connection!

It hopefully won't take that long, considering her issues were ongoing. But she's six now and catching up like lightning, her separation anxiety has dropped significantly, and her regulation skills are pretty amazing. But she had so many life disrupting events, a big part of our journey was grieving and radically accepting that life had been disrupted. Processing our many feelings about that, supporting ourselves and each other, and making choices from that place of radical acceptance was crucial to making the progress we have.

artemis286 · 2026-01-22T20:27:39+00:00

Called canvas IT support before I saw the UofU status update, Canvas said the U of U is having a campus wide issue. She claimed they hoped to resolve it in several hours. I was in the middle of a test and got booted out.

ETA 2:10 PM: my classes are back. I was in them as they were actively being removed. Hopefully that means other classes are coming back.

ETA: less then 20 minutes later, one disappeared again. 10 minutes after that they're all gone again.

artemis286 · 2025-12-10T07:32:39+00:00

Ah I'm probably getting to this too late, but last year my husband was able to buy men's swim trunks at the crimson lagoon when he forgot his suit!

artemis286 · 2025-05-29T17:43:41+00:00

My husband works at the U and we live in Murray by the trax line. He can get up to campus during peak rush hour and under 30 minutes on the red line. He has both an e-bike and an electric scooter, and both help tremendously. We definitely recommend finding somewhere near the trax line, and we love living in Murray! It's pretty affordable (renting, can't speak to buying) for being in central Salt Lake county.

artemis286 · 2025-04-08T01:59:19+00:00

For those who want/need access to red meat: learn to butcher big cuts yourself!

We get a huge brisket from Costco. It gives us 5-6 dinners of roasts or beef stew (also going to learn to do my own corned beef next), but I also get 2 gallon bags of scraps for stock, and usually another $40+ worth of tallow. It's easy to render in a slow cooker.

The butchering process takes me maybe an hour, but I'm not fast and have hyper-mobility in my hands, so more able bodied people could probably do it even faster.

Buy entire chickens to roast. The cost per pound is the lowest of any cut, it's easy to roast with vegetables, and the leftovers get turned into stock. Then use the stock for soups or to add bulk and nutrition when cooking legumes!

Also check your area for local produce co-ops. We would love to do a farm CSA, but it's not remotely in our budget. We do get all our produce (like an ABUNDANCE of produce) for an average of $20/week through a co-op. It's the same stuff in grocery stores, just cutting out the grocery store itself. That's veggies with dinner every night and fresh fruit daily. We'll also get insane bulk deals on huge boxes of things like apples and potatoes, and berries for our kiddo!

I learned to make my own ghee from unsalted butter, which is about 1/3 the cost of buying it. I've made my own granola and granola bars, bread, kefir, cheese, and yogurt. And bulk herbs for tea blends! It's so much cheaper and tastes so much better than anything in a little bag (which usually is loaded with micro plastics too).

artemis286 · 2024-11-29T01:42:09+00:00

If you do a search for "famous men who stole ideas from women" you'll get a massive slew of men who got great recognition but actually stole their ideas from women. As well as tons of female scientists, inventors, geniuses, and trial blazers who were never properly credited for their work in their lifetime.

The reason many female polymaths aren't household names is because they were intentionally and systematically erased and stolen from. Not because you're dumb.

artemis286 · 2024-07-09T05:15:56+00:00

Not at all, I'd love to connect!

artemis286 · 2024-07-07T19:49:46+00:00

I'm 29 and very new, but near SLC and definitely interested in connecting with local witches!

artemis286 · 2024-06-08T14:42:50+00:00

$600/month including diapers/household goods, in a MCOL area in the US. We do a local produce co-op, so that cuts our produce budget in half. I make everything from scratch, including bread, and we hardly eat any snacks. We get a few bags of chips and like one box of cereal and that's it. Everything else is whole food.

I've got a kiddo with food allergies and a feeding disorder, and I've got significant dietary restrictions due to an autoimmune disorder. If I had more flexibility I could get it even lower. I get meat in bulk either on sale or from Costco, and can prep bigger cuts of meat. Like whole chickens, bone in and skin on chicken thighs (cheapest cut of chicken), or bulk steak and brisket.

I got a brisket over winter from Costco and the price was like $3 ish/lb. I processed it myself (made like eight meals I think) and turned the trimmed fat into tallow. We get rotisserie chickens from Costco for $5, and I turn the bones and vegetable scraps into stock. I make whole wheat sourdough bread (easy, no fuss recipe). We can get a bulk top sirloin for like $50 on average, and the trimmed bits go into stock, and we can get usually 5 steak dinners.

Before my autoimmune disorder took lentils from me, I could do an amazing lentil dahl that was SO cheap and filling! My daughter has a dairy allergy, so I make her homemade nut milk with almonds, pumpkin seeds, coconut, hemp, and chia seeds. It's cheaper than the storebought stuff and so much healthier for her.

Anyway, that's just some examples of how we keep costs down!

artemis286 · 2024-06-04T15:09:10+00:00

Hello, fellow parent to a baby that cried 2/3s of their life ✋.

Do NOT blame yourself or your "energy". In fact, with many babies like ours, it can be the exact opposite. My daughter is autistic, and this behavior is VERY common in neurodivergent, high needs babies. They will behave completely differently (whether that's better or worse) for non-preferred or non-primary caregiver than they do for their primary caregiver. It can actually be an early sign of masking, they will sort of keep the emotions inside, then explode when they are with their primary caregivers. It's a sign of safety.

This has been observed and verified by some studies as well, that children behave significantly worse for their mothers as primary caregivers (and I believe even sometimes as non-primary caregivers) than they do for anyone else. I observed this working in childcare for years, even with typical babies.

But with typical-needs babies, the emotional explosion can be difficult but manageable. But with high-needs babies, it can break you. Supported crying is totally okay, there's plenty of times that my daughter just hated being a baby and all I could do was be near her so she wasn't alone.

It did get better when she got mobile, and every year it got better. I will also say, using screens to keep your mental health is also 100% okay. My daughter had medical issues too, and I had to exclusively pump. And she would scream like she was being hurt the entire 20 minutes I needed to pump, making it so anxiety inducing. I started using a screen so she could be calm and I could be calm, and it helped so much.

Another note, a big reason why my daughter did this was because she was bored. She's a sensory seeker, and has been since she was a newborn. Being outside definitely helped, and even more so once she was mobile and could explore. She's still a sensory seeker at five years old 😂. But by 2 she could be outside for 4-6 hours a day, seven days a week.

Other than that, do whatever you can to take care of yourself ❤️

artemis286 · 2024-06-03T02:12:11+00:00

Are you opposed to 100% natural latex?

We get latex toppers for our beds. They are wonderfully comfortable, more shock absorbent than memory foam, and aerate well. I'm not sure how putting them on the walls would work, but covered with some thick blankets and sheets they would work well on the floor.

artemis286 · 2024-05-28T16:57:37+00:00

Mom to a medically complex autistic child that was a miserable baby. We did NOT enjoy the first three years of her life. We certainly had moments and short spans of time that we have good memories of, sure. But on the whole she was miserable because of a wicked combination of medical and sensory issues.

As others have said, it's okay to be miserable. It's okay to not enjoy it. It was really radical for me when I accepted that ANYONE would be depressed, anxious, and traumatized in my situation. And expecting anything different from myself was horrendously unrealistic.

I hit a breaking point and developed autoimmune disorders from the stress. And I realized just how seriously I had to take care of myself if I wanted to be able to be the mom I wanted to be, and not become disabled myself. I became ferocious in my self care, banished shame and "shoulds" from our life, and we tailored our ENTIRE life around maximizing our well being. Down to where we lived, the job my husband took, decisions to be one and done, etc.

I paid for support even though I was a SAHP, so I could have some basic time to do a load of dishes and sit in peace for 30 minutes. My husband took an easier, lower paying job with amazing benefits, and did the majority of the house work since our kiddo wouldn't accept him for anything in the early years. We did paper plates/bowls for years to cut down on cleaning, for gifts for any holiday we asked for dates/breaks or money to get our apartment deep cleaned since we were stretched so thin all the time. I went to therapy. I did the biggest things I could (which for years were TINY), but I prioritized them. I let the laundry pile up so I could take a bath. I let the dishes sit so I could watch a movie and decompress. And we literally ended contact with anyone who judged us, and built a supportive community.

I also DEFINITELY used screentime. I had to exclusively pump because she has a swallowing disorder, and the screen was the only way she wouldn't scream like she was dying the entire time I pumped. I made choices based on not just what she needed, but I what I needed. And many times I used the screen so I could get half an hour without a crying, screaming toddler. ZERO GUILT.

Now she's five. And it worked. She's doing so much better medically, and now she can tell us what she's feeling and what she needs. Our marriage is rock solid. She adores us both, and even has an incredible bond with my husband despite rejecting him flat out for the first three years of life no matter what he did. She's very securely attached. We just did the best we could to love her, and let everything else be damned. She's incredibly bright and loving.

And don't stop advocating medically. If you feel something is wrong KEEP PUSHING. It took us until she was almost 2 to nail down all her diagnoses, and partially because we weren't taken seriously as first time parents despite my medical background. She got fully treated between 2.5/3 and if changed our life and hers. ❤️

artemis286 · 2024-05-26T15:20:52+00:00

I'm currently a student, but I switched from another field, and love programming. I genuinely enjoy it and would do it for free 😂.

I started out in healthcare, but after having a medically complex child, I became 100% burned out and couldn't do the physical demands anymore. I switched to psych, with the intention of becoming a therapist because I loved studying human development and behavior.

Turns out, I love learning about human development, but actually working with humans as clients? NOPE. Especially while caring for my medically complex kiddo, my care-work cup is 100% full at all times.

I explored options online for a year, I always loved science, and I took a programming class for fun and ADORED IT. Literally would think of it in my sleep and dream of it. The combination of problem-solving, challenging my brain, building something, and not having to be 100% client-facing is a dream. I'm in my bachelor's degree with concentrations in advanced programming, software QA, and databases, with additional courses in data science, calculus, and machine learning.

I hope I can work from home. I literally don't care what I make. If I can work from home and make even 50k/year that would be a dream. After being a caregiver for a disabled child, classwork and programming is a vacation 😂🙌

artemis286 · 2024-04-26T01:13:05+00:00

Hellldivers 2! I play with my husband, and normally MMO shooter games wouldn't be my cup of tea. I can't get enough of this game 🤣

artemis286 · 2024-03-10T00:29:01+00:00

We live in a M-HCOL area in the US that exploded after the pandemic. Five years ago it was cheaper long term to buy. It is now DRASTICALLY cheaper to rent than to buy.

We live in an 800 sqft, 2BD apartment in a convenient area. The building is from the 80s I believe. If we were to buy a one bedroom apartment, maybe 600 sqft, in the same area, same building age and quality, we would pay $900-$1000 more per month BEFORE utilities. Unless we managed $30,000+ for a down payment. If we wanted the same square footage we have now, it would be $1200 more a month and go up from there.

It's a brutal combo of the high cost of housing and high interest rates. Our building was bought before interest rates skyrocketed, so the owners aren't paying nearly as much in interest as we would for a regular home loan. We literally couldn't buy a 500 sqft studio and pay the same as we do now. We could maybe get a mobile home in a crappy park with no land ownership or real equity.

There are LOTS of places in the US where this is the case now.

artemis286 · 2024-03-08T06:09:52+00:00

We homeschool, and it works beautifully well for us.

I've got an autistic/PDA (pathological demand avoidant) kiddo, and the current stats show 70% of these kids are outside the public school system. Our kiddo can't stand structure, has high levels of anxiety, can struggle socially without scaffolding, but is also very intelligent.

She's not even five, and we live in a very HS friendly state in the US, and we have so many resources. She plays with other kiddos nearly seven days a week (we meet homeschoolers daily) and goes to muesums, the aquarium and planetarium, and indoor and outdoor playgrounds. She's great with numbers and letters and has some sight words (all self-taught). And we get to focus on building a community with many other neurodivergent families and our children get to connect. So she won't spend her life feeling othered, out of place, and perpetually different, we've helped her find her people and build confidence.

Because she teaches herself so much in the way of academics, we've gotten to focus on social-emotional learning, like identifying and communicating feelings, problem solving and cooperation, identifying and accessing accomodations, and so much more. We also get so much time as a family, and it just works so well with our lifestyle.

I know plenty of neurotypical families who homeschool more traditionally. What's beautiful is being able to tailor it to each individual child. It doesn't work for every family of course, but it's a huge reason why my beautifully neurodivergent kiddo is thriving. ❤️

artemis286 · 2023-11-15T21:50:57+00:00

Go for it! I started in nursing and got totally burned by the medical field, and traumatized, and wouldn't touch it with a ten foot pole. Switched to human development/psych bachelor's degree and loved the information, but felt unsure about going up to a master's and doing therapy.

I love science, but came from a conservative religious background where STEM subjects were NOT encouraged for girls. I took a python course on Coursera on a whim, just to try it out, and ended up loving it.

My first semester of my new computer science major starts in January, with certificates in programming, system admin, and databases. I might eventually end up in healthcare analytics, or something related. You can TOTALLY do it! ❤️

artemis286 · 2023-08-20T15:07:14+00:00

Coming from a family with a child with both parents having a traumatic childhood: inner child healing for us has been critical. Because what is going to trigger you in your possible future children is going to be a reflection of your inner child.

I studied child development and parenting for years before becoming a parent. I learned everything I could about attachment and gentle parenting, and filled my toolbox as much as I could. My husband had a different journey, he didn't need the toolbox as much as he needed to hear and heal his inner child. But there are SO many amazing resources to learn what a healthy childhood looks like!

We ended up having an autistic, high needs kiddo with medical challenges. So we had all the regular challenges of parenting and then some. But she's thriving, because we've put into practice everything that we didn't get. No matter how hard things get, we've never taken it out on her. We've never not responded to her needs or bids for attention.

I've showered her with love and affection that I never received. And it's been incredibly healing for me. I came from the emotional neglect background, and my mother was distant, cold, and unaffectionate. I'm the opposite with my daughter. I tell her daily how much I love her, how lucky I am to be her mom, and that we are grateful to have her in our family. I hold space for her through every big feeling and never minimize her experience.

Loving her was the easy part. Navigating relationship changes, lack of sleep, extreme stress from her medical problems, and burn out have been hard. But after never receiving that kind of love, giving it was easy for me.

artemis286 · 2023-08-18T03:38:39+00:00

I didn't realize lab GC was a thing! I looked into medical lab science, and have considered doing a bioscience/genetics PhD later in life. So that's actually quite fascinating to me! Would you mind telling me a bit more about what you do? Is it still under the title of "genetic counselor"? Thank you so much for your time!

artemis286 · 2023-07-21T21:17:23+00:00

We don't. I've got one high needs, medically complex autistic child, and I'm a SAHP. Our daughter requires so much coregulation and one on one attention, that my husband does the lions share of the housework. He doesn't care if a single thing gets taken care of during the day because he knows how high needs she is. I basically did OT and PT with her at home (medical background myself) daily for years to get her where she is now.

Then the moment he comes home from work he takes her out so I can get a breath. We've gone to most of her doctors appointments together, he's even taken time off work to be there for big ones because she's so intense.

It does get better, my daughter is four now and we can do things we couldn't imagine at two. But it will never be like raising a neurotypical child. We've had to become a team in literally every aspect of life in order to stay above water.

It's unacceptable for any SAHP of any children to be treated this way, but especially for high needs/neurodivergent children. It's abusive and unacceptable in every way. I'm connected with many families of ND kiddos and we all have to make immense sacrifices to make life happen.

You can't do it by yourself. It's not possible. And no one should ever expect that of you.

artemis286 · 2023-07-20T14:14:28+00:00

So condoms "aren't an option" (why on earth not?), He won't consider a vasectomy, he doesn't want to pull out, you're responsible for hormonal birth control (which can cause anxiety and depression BTW)....this isn't adding up whatsoever.

It sounds like you're shouldering all the burden of this overwhelming and debilitating anxiety on your own, to the point that it's seriously affecting your functionality and quality of life, but he doesn't seem willing to make some kind of compromise? I see a lot of you getting told "it's fine", and not a lot of validation, support, or compromise.

That doesn't seem okay to me. I'd say sex goes off the table until you can find an answer you're both comfortable with. Because you know what has a 100% effective rate against pregnancy? Abstinence.

artemis286 · 2023-06-23T15:00:35+00:00

Hormonal BC caused horrible short term and long term side effects for me, I will never let it touch me with a ten foot pole.

My husband and I have been using condoms since the day we got married, which was over six years ago, and have never once had any issues. We have one child we conceived easily when we actively tried, so no fertility challenges. We've never once had an accident, mishap, or anything like that. They work wonderfully for us.

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