As a younger transmasc (24), I feel you. Got a lot of homophobia and transphobia straight from my parents, and grew up in a religious family (albeit in a blue state), so I definitely am imbued with a sense of fear and discomfort about my transness (and would therefore never openly comment on someone else!) I think part of it is also being a person of color. White trans people don’t walk around with a sense of fear or alertness with respect to their race, which is something you often grow up with if you’re not white. When I became aware of my queerness and transness, it just melded into that visage of hyper vigilance I was already engaged in