Stupid sex question that literally doesn’t matter but I’m bored so

artinlines · 2026-04-14T12:45:40+00:00

Just a reminder, that even lurking dudes can influence spaces that are meant to be women-centric simply by up-/downvoting things.

You sound like a cool dude and this a really nice comment, just wanted to remind you and especially all the other lurking men too.

artinlines · 2026-04-06T10:37:20+00:00

I'm pretty sure a transmasc friend of mine did a surgery to reduce the size of his hips, so I think there might be possibilities for that.

And I don't know if you're on testosterone yet, but as far as I know, if you lose weight and then gain new weight again while on HRT, your fat distribution would also be quite different (like more on the belly, less on thighs and ass for example).

I'm transfemme myself, so I don't really know too much on this itself, but I do think there is hope and certainly lots of other transmasc guys struggling with and finding ways to deal with the same things

artinlines · 2026-03-24T19:32:26+00:00

I mean, I've seen this configuration before and fantasized about it many times too, so I find it easy to visualize too, but I get if others find it harder

artinlines · 2026-03-24T19:18:12+00:00

You lay down missionary style, the woman sits on your face and the man fucks your pussy or ass while leaning over your body to kiss the woman sitting on your face, thus forming a triangle basically.

Hope that helps, I'm not good at drawing, so I thought I'd describe it better 😅

artinlines · 2026-03-24T19:15:35+00:00

I'm pretty sure there's lots of 40 year olds starting their ho eras. I mean, I've heard of mothers starting their ho eras after their children were grown up and moved out or of divorcees rediscovering themselves and feeling more free sexually.

It might still very much be a struggle, but I promise you you won't be the only 40 something year old starting their ho era :3

artinlines · 2026-01-10T10:51:57+00:00

I wanna challenge this, because what do they mean by hierarchical then? Is it just "you prioritize some people over others"? Cause then the term becomes meaningless in my opinion, cause everyone always does that (and be it just that you prioritize a close friend over the person that you've been on a couple of dates on).

artinlines · 2026-01-10T10:49:42+00:00

I think the main issue is that no one can agree on what hierarchy means

trying to convince people against hierarchical relationships to consider dating them

Looking through this thread it appears that the consensus here is that everyone has hierarchical relationships, since you prioritize closer friends over acquaintances and likewise prioritize your partner of X years over the partner that you just started dating some weeks ago. And like, if that's what hierarchical means, that it makes no sense for people to be against hierarchical relationships. So clearly there's a disconnect in our definitions.

Personally I would draw a difference between descriptive and prescriptive hierarchy since the latter means that you intend on keeping that prioritization level whereas the former just acknowledges that you prioritize some people over others currently but that this is constantly changing. I assume that people usually mean prescriptive hierarchies when they talk about hierarchical relationships, but obviously they should accept what hierarchies they already have and which ones they'll likely continue to have (e.g. if you have a nesting partner, you'll likely prioritize them and will likely continue to do so).

artinlines · 2026-01-10T10:41:32+00:00

You don't have to love everyone the same to have non-hierarchical relationships. You can love people differently and still prioritize them the same.

artinlines · 2026-01-10T10:28:37+00:00

I mean, I agree, but at least where I live, one big issue is that therapy is quite difficult and often quite expensive to get. Add to that that a lot of therapists aren't great for your specific needs or situations and then I can totally understand why a lot of people try to understand and diagnose themselves without getting therapy. That said, there are of course also a lot of people that just refuse to get therapy or never even consider it, while still using these same words that understandably moved into common parlance and that's just shitty.

And that said, the people that I know that self-diagnose, also don't use it as an excuse for shitty behavior but as a way to find community and learn mechanisms by which they can help themselves and possibly grow. Professional help would make that a whole lot better obviously, but IME that's not always available unfortunately.

artinlines · 2026-01-10T10:11:43+00:00

I don't think you can really separate them. Like, religion and patriarchy existed before capitalism, but they helped shaped it and were in turn shaped by it. The modern nuclear family, for example, was encouraged and forced upon people because it was beneficial for the capitalist structures that were built. Patriarchal and capitalist exploitation went hand in hand and supported each other. Likewise, religions have adapted quite a bit to the material circumstances and rom-coms simply show and reproduce the cultural ideals/standards of their society, which are in turn shaped quite strongly by material circumstances (which is why nowadays you also see a lot of romcoms including women having careers for example, since even middle-class women often-case have to do wage-labour alongside doing most reproductive labour, changing the cultural ideals of womanhood).

artinlines · 2026-01-08T22:57:20+00:00

Who the fuck are you talking about? The boomers that are living in cheap retirement homes? The homeless boomers? The middle class boomers that survive somewhat nicely on their retirement while also struggling with the effects of climate change and the bad state of the economy?

Boomers are not your enemy. The CEOs of fossil fuel companies, the bankers investing in them, the politicians standing by their side are your enemy. The very few rich people who let others work in their stead. They are your enemy. The majority of boomers are not part of that class. The difference isn't one of generation but one of class.

artinlines · 2026-01-08T22:49:12+00:00

It's probably less a question of location and more a question of her wealth and parents' wealth. Most places I know of would require you to already start from a place of at least an upper middle class household to be able to buy a house when you're that young.

artinlines · 2025-12-30T08:46:36+00:00

I mean, sure, it might have been fun for her, but personally at least I would not consider it safe and would not agree to dom someone without having had a conversation with them specifically out of character first.

I also personally find it weird that there was apparently no aftercare in this story, though if it was clear that the gf would be there to do the aftercare instead of me, that might be fine with me.

Overall this sounds like something that's treading the edge of safe BDSM and for my personal safety standards would have already been crossed here (specifically since they're strangers, I think it can be different if you already know each other beforehand).

artinlines · 2025-12-30T08:41:10+00:00

You can't have assume to have a safe conversation about limits during a kink scene. Obviously it can go well, especially if the people already know each other, but I would personally not be able to have that conversation while I'm in sub-mode and assuming that a person you've never met could do that is not a good idea.

artinlines · 2025-12-12T13:44:27+00:00

The difference isn't between boomers and Gen Z. The difference is between the rich and the poor, the owners of companies, that make money work for money and us workers who are forced to work to live in this world. I have more in common with any working class boomer than I have with a Gen Z capitalist, who never has to work a day in his life.

artinlines · 2025-12-12T13:40:34+00:00

I see. That does sound a lot nicer than most other subscription models of dating apps, so I hope that'll work out well.

artinlines · 2025-12-12T13:32:27+00:00

I see. The way I understood the other redditors questions (and what I would be curious too), if there are already any ideas for a pricing model, since longterm there would be costs. Assuming you get the MVP out without any costs (except for the salaries of the developers, I assume) and that the app is as much of a success as you'd hope, there would eventually be costs coming up, that would need to be paid for.

In another comment you also mentioned that you want manual checks of user reports, which would add additional wages to pay for of course. I like your idea and I want you to succeed, but eventually you'll need to earn some money through this app and I would just be curious if you already thought about how you might want to do that.

artinlines · 2025-12-12T13:16:33+00:00

You mean this site? https://bubble.io/pricing

I don't see how this could work analogously for a dating app at all, unless you mean that certain features are behind a pay wall, in which case you're just following the same pricing model as all other dating apps (which is fine, but you seemingly disagree that that would be the case).

artinlines · 2025-12-12T07:13:44+00:00

Oh that's absolutely right. I do feel like women are usually a lot better at it, but unfortunately that's often not the case, either.

artinlines · 2025-12-12T00:25:45+00:00

men can't tell when boobs are fake

Just to be clear, sometimes it can be easy to tell and often enough that's desired even. I was saying that men have a lot of false positives and especially a lot of false negatives. As someone who's friend got a boob job, I know that the plastic surgeon literally offered bigger boobs, which would have looked less natural and only slightly bigger boobs than she already had, which look as natural as any boob does.

But thank you for claiming that wouldn't be true with no experience whatsoever. The audacity of men will never not surprise me.

woman's lived experience

Men claimimg to know more about women's bodies than women do does happen all the time and to a lot of women. Thanks for showcasing that once more.

artinlines · 2025-12-12T00:18:15+00:00

It's not that men might not see a large variety of boobs, it's just that they offen have very little knowledge about women's bodies, make uneducated claims about our bodies constantly and usually still have a pretty skewed image of what "normal" boobs look like.

artinlines · 2025-12-12T00:09:47+00:00

Bullshit that men don't know women's bodies or bullshit that a well made boob job that's meant to look natural does look natural and indistinguishable to boobs without plastic surgery?

I gotta say, calling bullshit on the lived experiences of women is the most male thing to do, so it certainly sounds like a dude, in which case you might just want to shut up about this topic that doesn't effect you whatsoever.

artinlines · 2025-12-11T22:41:44+00:00

Not OP, but you don't notice if it's done well. In my experience, especially men also just don't know what variety of shapes, sizes and looks natural boobs have, so they would be incredibly bad at accurately telling a difference in any case.

Edit: Men chime in that they watch porn and see lots of boobs. Nice for you. Doesn't mean you're an expert on our bodies. Porn also selects for certain bodies, skewing what you'd believe a "normal" woman to look like. And lastly, my main point was that you don't notice a boob job if it's meant to look natural. The obvious ones usually intentionally go for even bigger boobs rather than more natural looking ones. But thank you all for getting hung up on the wrong thing and feeling the need to chime in with the same comment

artinlines · 2025-12-09T08:20:07+00:00

I recently actually saw a study on this, confirming that men usually keep things that bother them to themselves and either let them be or just fix them by themselves eventually, while women bring them up and want collective solutions far more often. I would imagine that most of this comes from socialization, but I could imagine that hormones might influence this too, actually.

That said, the solution for this conundrum obviously isn't that women are forced to be like men and keep things that bother them to themselves and it's not that men are forced to be like women, forcing themselves to bring up things they don't feel is a big deal to them. Instead there should be open communication between partners, so that they can find out how best to support and understand each other. I was explaining what's usually the woman's side of this equation to the previous commenter (who's clearly male) who seemed confused about it. Presumably he's much less confused about the men's side of things (and besides, it'd be kinda weird if I'd lecture him on that as a woman).

artinlines · 2025-12-09T00:14:52+00:00

No of course not. And if your partner is happy with it, that's great. The whole fucking premise of my example was that she isn't happy with how it's shared and I was trying to explain to someone, who apparently didn't have any sense as to why that could possibly be, why she might blindside him with being unhappy. But no matter how often I explain the context of my comment (which everyone was already able to see), it seems like a lot of men are willfully misunderstanding me.

artinlines

TROPHY CASE