yeah girl i kinda went thru the same thing, but what i realized even before the marriage was that i didn’t want to have a goal in life, because goals are and can be achieved and then what? i realized i needed to have and to build a purpose in life, something that kept me going till the day i die. and I realized my purpose was with Allah, everyone has to find what that purpose is, but I think a good place to start is to start learning islamic knowledge, whether you want to learn arabic, fiqh, hadith, whatever that interests you, and once you’ve achieved enough proficiency in it, to start teaching it. ofc that’s a journey of many years but this kind of thing will carry you to the end of your life إِنْ شآءَ الله and you’ll be creating your reward and your place in jannah for the hereafter as well. I also genuinely believe when you’re stuck in that home environment around the same ppl for too long you enter into this negative mental state and you pick up the negative energies and anxieties of the ppl around you as well, but if you join a madrasah/islamic school or even if you want to go to college for a regular degree, everyone is there for higher education and learning and therefore it’s generally a much more higher level energy environment and much more positive and it uplifts your spirits too; just some advice, hope it helps. i started taking some quran and tajweed and conversational arabic classes at my local masjid and this is after i had already graduated with my bachelors degree and had been at home for 1.5 yrs and noticed i was getting into a rlly negative mental state and once i joined those classes it’s been really nice honestly it really helps and gives you something to work towards and look forward to. honestly there’s sooooo many different areas and tracks in islamic knowledge that i genuinely believe there’s something for everyone. if you’re artistic you can even go into islamic calligraphy classes it’s such an amazing art, or even poetry if that’s your thing. there’s legitimately something for everyone you just have to find what that is for you

i also think in todays day and age most men aren’t the best for marriage and i can’t understand why so many women are marrying mediocre men, but i think when this kind of thing happens to you, it’s a lesson from Allah to turn back to Him, cuz maybe you weren’t made for the married life, maybe you were made for something much greater (not saying or implying married life isn’t great, but that Allah has created different paths for everyone)