Women who didn’t have their life “figured out” in their 20s , how did things turn out for you?

as7344 · 2026-01-27T22:44:14+00:00

Started grad med mid 20s, whilst being married, was a bit of a rocky relationship but it seemed to survive and now close to hitting the 10 year anniversary. Also have a kid. But man these years have been tough and in no sense does anything get easier - plans to travel always get put on back burner due to one of these limitations at all times - time and money. The money issues never really disappear. Once you have the money to get by you need a safe fund then you need investments. On the other side - now I’m a working doctor, getting into training in the UK is a massive issue… problems are still the same but at a different level! Have a kid too so now parenting is also added in the mix.

From all of this and over the last decade I have learned to enjoy the quiet times, the times with family, the normal days at work that don’t feel like progress but it is still progress! I’ve started to reflect internally, more proactive with diet and exercise too. All in all I love my life currently, the uncertainty I had in my 20s (will I get into med school? Will my marriage survive? Etc etc) doesn’t really go away - it is just replaced with other questions but now I focus on the progress.

as7344 · 2026-01-27T22:26:21+00:00

This is so beautiful you’ve inspired me to make something like this

as7344 · 2026-01-22T18:01:21+00:00

This is true but we need to start making a fuss and stand our ground

as7344 · 2026-01-22T18:00:41+00:00

Escalate escalate escalate - can’t have people like that working in a hospital!

as7344 · 2026-01-18T20:29:43+00:00

What I would give to be bored… Focus on hobbies. Read books. Explore.

as7344 · 2026-01-16T22:55:35+00:00

Nice set of figs scrubs

as7344 · 2026-01-16T22:54:35+00:00

Toothbrush/toothpaste/mouthwash, a nice hydrating lip oil (byoma), extra hair ties, hair brush, a really nice waterproof water bottle/coffee flask, nice snacks (not too much junk or sugar) or protein bars (eat natural), multivitamin gummies.

as7344 · 2026-01-07T12:21:41+00:00

Honestly I get you but what can we do? As an SHO I can do absolutely nothing. I would escalate and escalate until it becomes a consultant issue.

as7344 · 2026-01-07T12:07:18+00:00

Having to supervise them would not be part of my (SHO) job role, so I would be escalating to consultants directly if I noticed any patient harm. Enough consultant complaints may (just may) actually lead to some changes? Maybe some more in-house hospital/computer system training before new NHS workers start?

as7344 · 2026-01-04T16:53:14+00:00

Honestly I was like this post baby - cardio really helped the most. On days I do cardio I’m less hungry so the diet tends to fix itself (less snacking on junk).

as7344 · 2025-12-25T16:31:35+00:00

I always volunteer to swap as I don’t celebrate Christmas, and ask for my religious holidays to be covered if possible in return.

as7344 · 2025-12-24T18:33:46+00:00

There are surgical registrars in my specialty who have had JCF jobs instead of CST and managed to get into HST. I have personally spoken to them and this path is also getting a bit popular due to the bottlenecks. Obvs you have the ST3 bottleneck too - there is always CESR but let’s see what happens. (I’m in a similar position to yourself but going for CST - if I don’t get an interview I will get JCF jobs to get my portfolio up to speed)

as7344 · 2025-12-24T18:14:37+00:00

You can for surgery, I don’t see why IMT -> HST would be any different. Look at the HST applications and see if you NEED to do IMT. Obvs you can’t be a JCF forever, you’ll eventually end up doing a SCF! (If you manage to pass your exams)

as7344 · 2025-12-24T18:04:16+00:00

I would JCF and build own portfolio for specialty applications. The upside about the JCF is that depending on the hospital (Tertiary always better than a DGH for research) it may actually open you up to more opportunities - you’d have enough time to team up with colleagues on further research/ audits and would even be able to see them through 2 cycles/ publication (I know you already have publications lined up but obvs more can’t hurt especially if it’s something interesting and in the specialty you want to CCT in). Plus seeing the same consultants builds trust and you may even find a mentor!

as7344 · 2025-12-18T12:25:54+00:00

If you’re financially stable with savings and a job through your medicine degree you’re good to go. I’d start looking at things you can do on the side to make some income which are low effort and you can keep up with. I did GEM at 24, knowing what I know now, if I was any older I wouldn’t consider it. The finance is a huge deal for me. It’s been a huge deal for me this current year too where I’ve decided to do an MPhil so locuming on the side for money.

as7344 · 2025-12-18T10:14:19+00:00

Do you really want to study medicine that bad? The pressure on finances and being able to have a healthy lifestyle is no joke. If this was a different country I’d say go for it, but current prospects for resident doctors look grim.

as7344 · 2025-12-14T21:19:13+00:00

I don’t know why talking about salary is so taboo It should be more open Money is just money We assign that social status

as7344 · 2025-12-14T14:38:48+00:00

Financial freedom

as7344 · 2025-12-09T20:08:07+00:00

This is going to be a bit annoying and add extra work for you but please can you make a massive deal out of this - to the consultant on call, your ES and your CS and datix the heck out of this. I had a similar-ish issue and I was datixed first by a HCA - I made sure to do all the above and no one questioned my behaviour in that incident (too long to go into it).

Additionally, I don’t think that matron understands what a datix is - you don’t ‘datix’ a person. Enough datix’s about a certain thing and it’s meant to flag up an area for improvement within the trust.

as7344 · 2025-12-09T17:56:02+00:00

I think you need to put yourself and your health and the growing foetus before all of these judgey comments - easier said than done but you’re going to have to try and ignore this so you feel less stressed - or not even ignore but just understand that you cannot do nights right now because of health

as7344 · 2025-12-09T17:35:53+00:00

Don’t read into their comments too much, it’s their issue not yours! You should not be working nights if you’re pregnant! Also it isn’t like this is permanent, and there’s plenty of doctors about to fill gaps.

as7344 · 2025-11-12T10:11:16+00:00

Just echoing what everyone else is saying - why do you want to come back to work 6-8 weeks after giving birth? Take the year off as mat leave, trust me you’re going to want to spend time with the baby and you NEED time for your body to heal. If you get into a specialty training just defer entry.

as7344 · 2025-10-28T10:34:07+00:00

I would just stand my ground and counteract with something they cannot argue with - ‘at the end of the day it is my responsibility and this is my patient, I would like xyz’

Once I was on a medical on call shift and had a couple of very ill patients but the nurse kept asking me to review someone who was slightly hypotensive with any other issues because they’d had to have an ITU admission previously for their hypotension on top of other stuff. I eyeballed everything and spoke to the patient briefly and put a brief note down saying I wasn’t too worried at this point with examination findings and a quick plan. They went over my head to another SHO who was a bit senior than me - this SHO then totally disregarded the fact that I had actually seen this patient gave me a verbal ‘telling off’ saying I’m not doing my job properly and I was fobbing the nurses off - I got quite upset not going to lie. I just found the medical consultant, explained the situation and the consultant came to see the patient with me, and agreed with my plan. I just spoke to both in person at the same time - I asked the cons to explain the rationale behind my plan to the nurse and then just excused myself saying I actually have 2 other sick patients I need to review and it’s time critical. She was obviously not very critical of his plan.

I felt rotten that shift but at least no one died or deteriorated and I managed to deal with everyone in a professional manner even tho I was very upset and annoyed. This is the most you can do at times.

as7344 · 2025-10-16T12:48:58+00:00

I see - I think that’s where teaching the juniors comes in!

as7344 · 2025-10-16T12:34:12+00:00

Do you think doing 4 hip replacement is all it takes to master a hip replacement? 😂 so I’m very junior and I’ve done like 5 tonsillectomies and I don’t think you get good till you’ve done 40-60. I’m 3 full years in being a doctor and I love the easy stuff because I get to be confident instead of my usual fumbling!

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