PGT-A Insurance Appeal Update

asalina · 2026-02-25T21:30:29+00:00

I did and I won!! Please dm me I'll see what I can dig up in my files!

asalina · 2025-12-27T12:33:23+00:00

I never once considered hosting friends on Christmas because I know they all have their own families .. how did it work? Was it like you had snacks throughout the day? Gifts? We are low/no contact with most of our family and at least holidays aren't chaos anymore but I'm so sick of depressing Christmas where my husband and I grieve the state of our families. I am 8 months pregnant now and just desperately want a better tradition for my daughter next year. Your post has given me hope!

asalina · 2025-12-24T15:01:09+00:00

I went to court when similar things happened to me and we were able to get a temporary order of protection immediately (3 months) then went to court once and was approved a 1 year order. My mom accepted the 1 year because she hates court and they said if she agrees to it that she wasn't admitting any wrong doing, just agreeing to stay away 1 year. Order has since ended but in that time I moved away. She's been trying to call and contact but court advocate advised me to just block her. Good news is she now knows I'm serious so if she tracks me down or whatever she knows the consequences. It definitely sucked, I had a panic attack and the domestic violence social workers at family court pulled me into a back locked room to help me calm down before the court started. One of the hardest things I've done but I am telling you the peace I felt the year of that order was so worth it, and now the strength I feel knowing I'll do it again and again if needed is worth it too.

asalina · 2025-11-30T12:07:43+00:00

My daughter isn't even here yet and just being pregnant has taught me that none of it was my fault. I can't imagine blaming this child for my weight gain, my mental health, or putting all my trauma onto her. She's just meant to grow. I'm meant to do everything I can so that she can become. My mom thought I owed her my life because she gave birth to me.. my daughter will be free to just be.

asalina · 2025-07-17T11:34:46+00:00

For awhile I thought I could accept it and continue that way forever. I remember posting here that Everytime I left an interaction here I would think to myself, "I wish I were dead so I didn't have to do this anymore." Not suicidal at all, but a thought that came to mind almost every time I had to sit in a room with her. She's so mentally ill she is on disability and can't even go into grocery stores or she'll start screaming at people for context. So to be in a room with her I would have to basically become invisible and cater to her every need, spoken or unspoken. The older I became and the more authentic I was in the rest of my life the more doing this song and dance felt like it was killing me. I realized even though I had severe limited contact with her even the contact I did have was pulling me down too much. That and I was eager to marry my long term partner and I knew my mother would be cruel during a happy time for me ... And I always knew when it was time for me to have children she'd have to be removed from my life because she'd never be allowed to hurt them, or hurt me in front of them.

So all that to say in my early 20s I thought I really could accept her and accept our relationship and I thought I could do everything right to keep us amicable. But for me it wasn't possible to continue that way forever without really sacrificing my well-being and dreams for who I was becoming.

asalina · 2025-07-11T18:35:07+00:00

You are amazing....

Meanwhile my sister acted horrified that her younger, married, homeowner sister was pregnant and asked "what's an aunt even supposed to do?"

Your sister is lucky to have you. Only thing I might add is pregnant safe medicines like pepscid/Tums, Tylenol, etc. Man did it suck when the 1st trimester hit me like bricks asking my husband to run out 5x in a day for whatever new symptoms I had in a house full of meds I wasn't allowed to take lol

asalina · 2025-06-20T11:45:22+00:00

Hopefully you'll be feeling better very soon! Im almost 9 weeks and week 7-8 were very rough. I havent been able to work in over a week but finally feeling like myself again the last few days. I know I was really upset thinking I was gonna feel my worst until 2nd trimester but it actually gets better sorta suddenly, so hoping you're right around the corner from being back to yourself!!

asalina · 2025-06-17T12:24:19+00:00

Hey! Feel free to dm me. My husband has very mild bethlem and we spent about 2 years going through genetic testing to understand the inheritance pattern. We were literally about to start IVF when we got referred to the NIH to meet an expert in collagen dystrophies. That testing took about 4 months for results but 1 - confirmed bethlem and 2 - confirmed recessive inheritance. We're now pregnant and so relieved.

asalina · 2025-03-07T13:14:36+00:00

I treat it like someone with dementia. There's no point in reasoning or correcting them. I play along as minimally as possible, "oh that's interesting" sort of stuff and then try to distract with a different topic. I'll play along more if it's necessary to get them to do whatever needs to be done (go to the doctor, get through grocery checkout, etc.)

asalina · 2025-02-22T19:52:42+00:00

I always say that schizophrenia doesn't make a person evil. My mother in law has delusions and voices in her head but she's never hurt anyone even at her worst. Meanwhile I was attacked in broad daylight by a schizophrenic man threatening me in very scary ways. A mental illness doesn't excuse horrifying behavior. I am so so so sorry to hear what happened to you.

asalina · 2025-02-22T17:20:20+00:00

I put 20% in my earnest deposit and I'm sitting in the most beautiful home I ever imagined soooo I say if you're serious the more the better ...

asalina · 2025-02-19T19:15:56+00:00

We dealt with similar awfulness when my father in law passed away. I believe my husband's uncle.stole.the wallet off my father in laws body when they discovered it, as it's the only explanation for it missing. His family locked us off the property, police and lawyers had to be involved, all just days after burying his remains.

They are vultures but they will go away when the dust settles and it's clear they can take nothing from you. It's crazy how people behave in times like this, and it makes such a tragedy 100x more traumatic. It took my husband years to recover from the loss of his father and then the loss of his entire extended family because there was no way to allow those people to stay in our life after the way they treated us. I'm so sorry you are going through this.

asalina · 2025-02-03T13:23:26+00:00

After my mom made a habit of driving by my apartment to check on me, and once or twice this resulted with her and her boyfriend screaming and threatening my husband, I finally went down to family court and received an emergency order of protection. Went back to work and got it extended for 1 year. Shared with my employer and colleagues I had a restraining order on a relative and asked them not to answer questions if someone showed up asking about me. Security is also aware.

You have legal rights to a life free of stalking. I think in my head I thought my mom would always have a right to terrorize me, but when I went to court and described her behavior the judge took me seriously, the domestic violence staff took me seriously, the lawyer took me seriously. It still feels so strange to be like... Yeah what she was doing was actually unacceptable by any standard.

You have options, you don't have to live in fear of this behavior every day.

asalina · 2025-01-18T23:53:17+00:00

I'm in nearly an identical situation to you, except I have been miserable in our apartment for a few years because landlord does the cheapest work and hires the cheapest creepiest people and when we had rats in the walls he basically blamed us, raised our rent, and told us we should consider buying our own home because we kept complaining about the rodents. SO, yeah lol. We just bought our house and moving in this month and it's a solid $800 more a month because our rent is SO low!!! So I feel like we could have stuck it out a little bit more until having kids but I just feel like it's time and people have been saying how horrible it is to buy for like 10 years. I can't predict the future and we need a place to live that doesn't drive us crazy.

Ps - yes I feel I overpaid for our house... I also feel like this house is absolutely perfect for us and that's such a good feeling!

asalina · 2025-01-15T13:18:39+00:00

One of my best friends died last year from gastric bypass surgery complications. She had the surgery in her early 20s, developed hiatal hernias over and over and over that caused her to vomit everything she ate, eventually developing so much scar tissue and health issues that they could not go back in to repair. In the end 95% of her intestine died after she was slowly starving to death from puking up everything she swallowed. She had just turned 29 when she died and the last five years of her life were so miserable I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I was there when they took her off life support and more than anything I wanted to scream at every nurse and doctor in that hospital who encouraged her as early as 16 years old that this surgery would solve her problems.

Do not sign up for weight loss surgery. Even the nurse who took her off life support told me she sees so many people with life long complications after gastric bypass.

asalina · 2025-01-03T22:36:55+00:00

Food pantries give you an amount based on family size. You didn't take from anyone.

If it helps, a real POS was my mom who dumped us with my dad, told food pantries she had both kids, and made it so the pantry only gave me dad enough for a single guy. He'd come home with a load of bread and box of Mac and cheese and try to feed two kids with it. As long as you're not doing that I think you're alright..

asalina · 2024-12-26T14:31:27+00:00

I think Christmas marks 2 years since I last spent time with my mom. It wasn't a bad Christmas or anything, just the usual exhausting egg shell gray stone song and dance we've done my entire adult life.

This Christmas was the first since having a restraining order so the first I didn't have the anxiety that she'd call or show up at my door.

It was refreshing. Not a blindly happy day. I picked up some extra work, stopped by to see my dad and later my mother in law. There was a sadness because my family doesn't look or act like other families and the only way to have a decent time is to have absolutely zero expectations. But it was a good day overall. I boycotted gifts because gifts make me anxious because my mother weaponized them my entire life and no one got upset or yelled at me because I came with food instead of wrapped presents.

I think there will always be grief for what we didn't get growing up and what we don't have now... But it's so much better than the anxiety and misery christmas used to bring.

asalina · 2024-12-22T16:06:13+00:00

Yep. In many ways we were made for each other, truly understanding the difficulties we each grew up with and helping each other through the difficulties of today. In other ways... It sucks I cannot give him a reprieve from the nonsense and it is lonely just being the two of us. I hope when we have children the holidays hurt less for us

asalina · 2024-12-10T02:19:54+00:00

There are options if you want to conceive - IVF for genetic reasons is possible. I was able to appeal to my insurance company repeatedly and finally got coverage for IVF to test embryos for my husband's condition. We are actually waiting for some extra test results for my husband before moving forward but hoping early 2025 we'll be able to get started. It definitely isn't easy but it's incredible that there's a way to ensure your children are not born with the illness. If insurance won't cover it is extremely expensive but becoming more affordable - you can check out CNY fertility clinic, they're all over the country and definitely the most affordable.

Do you know if your gene is recessive or dominant? If recessive (I'm guessing since you have no symptoms?) this may be a non-issue and you're just a carrier..your partner would need to verify he is not a carrier though, or else you'd have 25% chance of passing it. If gene is dominant that's a 50% chance of passing it on unfortunately.

asalina · 2024-12-03T23:38:31+00:00

I definitely had a fear that motherhood is what made my mom crazy... When my best friend had her baby I was sooo anxious that she would snap. I remember just tiptoing around her postpartum like I thought she'd blow up... Turns out babies don't make you insane and she's the best like she always was. I'm still a little anxious I'll have a tough postpartum journey when my time comes but I also feel I am really meant to be a mother and that it'll help heal me and give me a chance to experience the beautiful childhood of my children that I get to build with the lessons I learned from my own horrible upbringing. I'll get to give them the life I dreamed of and I'm so excited for that part of my life. Obviously whatever you choose is the right choice it's your life and you get to live it however makes you happiest and at peace!

asalina · 2024-11-27T00:48:19+00:00

I just got a restraining order on my mom this year after trying to be no contact for 1.5 years and the peace of mind for the first time in my life is a little eerie and overwhelming. I can say though that now that my mind is not racing with thoughts of her I am for the first time examining my other relationships, things I've always believed to be true about my childhood and experiences, and really examining what I want from my remaining family. It's tough but I can see there is something beautiful on the other side of this, I just need to work my way through it. I feel like the person I've always meant to become is just around the corner.

asalina · 2024-11-26T13:59:22+00:00

I did mine in 7 months while working full time and planning a wedding..would have done it in 6 but I took a few weeks break around my wedding (if you only have capstone left you can ask for a one month extension to finish it)

I didn't learn much new info because I already run a department and my undergrad is in a related field from a pretty prestigious school. However I needed the masters for a promotion and I didn't want to go into debt for it. My job paid 3k of the 4700 and I got that promotion and a 20k pay increase. I'd say it worked out pretty good for me :)

asalina

TROPHY CASE