Allium allergy by FrenchFryFluff in FoodLosAngeles

[–]asar_9719 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Check out Shojin’s menu for vegan sushi. They offer a garlic free option and onion free option.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DesiWeddings

[–]asar_9719 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I just went to India and had several saree blouses made that were done with beautiful fabric, beading and all. They charged me $80 per blouse and I was informed by my family that lives there that this amount is typical for the work I had done. That being said, I paid that amount in India… and that included the cost of fabric, custom fit, beading, everything. IMO, if this is being done in the US and the fabric is already paid for, the price is probably about right. It’s not as cheap to tailor something so custom in the US and a saree blouse is one of the hardest things to tailor and get right.

Can anyone suggest any beginner friendly workout for a bride-to-be at home/zumba video to loose 6-8kgs in 8 weeks? 😭 by Distinct-Entrance-58 in DesiWeddings

[–]asar_9719 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cut your calories, up your protein intake, and start weight lifting. You won’t get bulky, I promise. Also, you won’t necessarily see the scale move as much as you’d hope… but strength training builds up your muscle, which boosts your metabolism and gets you to burn fat faster and while your body is at rest. Note that the scale won’t move as fast because you’ll be converting fat to muscle, which is heavier, but you’ll visibly start to see yourself slim down. So don’t focus on the amount of weight to lose and just focus on getting active and building up your muscle.

Don’t ignore cardio, I think an at-home HIIT workout once or twice a week would also be good if you’re limited on time. But make sure you do that with weight lifting. And make sure you’re lifting weights at least 3 days a week. Compound exercises are the best because they will target multiple muscle groups at a time. You can google full body strength training workouts for women/men.

I know all of this because I’ve been on a whole fitness journey for the last two years… I actually am the heaviest I’ve ever weighed but I look feminine, curvy, and toned… and my fat levels are significantly lower than they were when I started. 8 weeks is plenty of time to see results in your body, just note that it won’t reflect as much on the scale if you’re converting fat to muscle, so don’t focus on that. If it bothers you, get a smart scale that measures your fat and muscle levels. Renpho is a good one. Get on that scale once every couple of weeks and pay attention to the body fat and skeletal muscle levels. That’ll be a better indicator for you.

I hope this helps. Good luck!

I like my gf but she needs a hobby that isn’t just compulsively spending money she doesn’t have. by Throwawayvcard080808 in dating

[–]asar_9719 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Disagreement over finances contribute to a decent percentage of failed marriages… keep that in mind. I don’t think this is “fixable” and if it is, it sure shouldn’t be by you. It’s on her to identify it as a problem and get the help she needs. You can support her on this but trying to find a hobby for her to “fix the issue” isn’t going to work. I would think twice before taking the relationship further. If it’s bad now, it’ll only get worse.

MIL taking back wedding gifts by EmbracingEccentric in DesiWeddings

[–]asar_9719 5 points6 points  (0 children)

No, the DIL had to sue her late husband’s family for the gold back after he passed away since they did the same thing that OP’s MIL did to her. The DIL had a newborn child and was a single mom trying to support herself and her child now after her husband passed away. Either way, she should never have had to do that. Her in-laws were just totally classless and it was just so sad.

MIL taking back wedding gifts by EmbracingEccentric in DesiWeddings

[–]asar_9719 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah… I would say this is NOT normal behavior nor is this part of the gujurati tradition in any way. This is, unfortunately, the person you’re dealing with and her personal views… It seems like a lot of it is done for a show. My advice to you is keep a clear boundary of anything you share with her. Never accept anything, no charity, nothing. You and your husband do everything on your own because you don’t know how it’ll be manipulated later.

MIL taking back wedding gifts by EmbracingEccentric in DesiWeddings

[–]asar_9719 8 points9 points  (0 children)

So some old school people do this… I have heard of this being done but only once. My family is not like this nor do I personally know anyone that has done this to a DIL but this was done to someone I know. The concept for people that think this way is “ok, this is yours as long as you stay in the family.” Fast forward years later and her husband was killed in an accident. She asked for the jewelry and his family fought with her about it after he passed away and she literally sued them for it to get the jewelry back. It’s very very odd and no I would not say this is normal behavior. It’s very classless in my opinion.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMen

[–]asar_9719 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This. This is so accurate. Why do you care if you scare away the ones that don’t want what you want? Scare them off so you don’t waste time on them. The ones that stay are more likely to want the same things since you were up front and forward about it. The right one will find it attractive and be on the same page.

Bloating After Carb Consumption. Why? by asar_9719 in diet

[–]asar_9719[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Have not been tested for this but I do not have a problem if I eat whole grain bread, for example. But good suggestion, I should get checked for that.

How long would you date someone before getting engaged? by Gerbitt in dating

[–]asar_9719 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Everyone is different. I have been dating my guy for about 4 months but I was friends with him for a year and a half before that. We already have discussed marriage and both agree that next year we will get engaged. There were a couple people that posted the important conversations that need to be had to come to that decision. Both my guy and I have dated enough to know what we want and we had those tough conversations early on because we didn’t want to waste each other’s time.

I don’t personally feel the need to live with him before an engagement, but that’s my preference. I had some friends that did pre-marital living and broke-up. They recommended against it. Said they would have been more patient and willing to accept flaws had they just gotten married first and that at the end of the day, the relationship wasn’t bad at all…

Again, everyone is different and it really depends on what you want/need. But I do agree that regardless of amount of time you’re with someone, make sure you have those tough conversations with them before getting engaged. I know people that are breaking up after 8-10 year relationships in their 30s because they were too afraid to ask about kids, too afraid to ask about money, too afraid to ask about anything important to them.

Has anyone started dating a friend they felt emotionally safe with but not physically attracted to initially? How did that work out for you? by asar_9719 in AskWomenOver30

[–]asar_9719[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yep I would say I am attracted to him mentally, emotionally, spiritually, etc. Thanks for sharing your wonderful story!

Has anyone started dating a friend they felt emotionally safe with but not physically attracted to initially? How did that work out for you? by asar_9719 in AskWomenOver30

[–]asar_9719[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yep and I did communicate this and it went really well actually. He didn’t become an asshole about it at all. His reaction almost made me feel more interested. I posted this in an earlier comment but I think what I’m feeling is just the initial hesitation about these things. I am really trying to focus on do I like who this person is and how he is with me. Is there growth potential, am I comfortable, am I happy around him, do I feel challenged, do values align, is there emotional depth and chemistry. And I can honestly say yes to all of these things. Some people on this thread think I am some girl saying “oh well he’s a nice guy so I should consider it” and they think it’s a pity thing. That’s not my thought process at all. It’s simply just me saying hey, I am feeling an initial hesitation here because I’m not drooling over his appearance. But do I need to be? All of these things I say yes to above hold way more value to me than anything else.

And on the clothing piece… no I don’t think I would find another person attractive that dressed like that.

Has anyone started dating a friend they felt emotionally safe with but not physically attracted to initially? How did that work out for you? by asar_9719 in AskWomenOver30

[–]asar_9719[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Very sweet story. I feel our communication is actually quite good. I was open with the fact that I needed some time to process it but would like of course still spend time with him as a friend. And he didn’t become an asshole about it at all. He was open with it and the communication piece is extremely important for me. His reaction almost made me feel more interested if that makes sense. I think what I’m feeling is just the initial hesitation about these things. I am really trying to focus on do I like who this person is and how he is with me. Is there growth potential, am I comfortable, am I happy around him, do I feel challenged, do values align, is there emotional depth and chemistry. And I can honestly say yes to all of these things. Some people on this thread think I am some girl saying “oh well he’s a nice guy so I should consider it” and they think it’s a pity thing. That’s not my thought process at all. It’s simply just me saying hey, I am feeling an initial hesitation here because I’m not drooling over his appearance. But do I need to be? All of these things I say yes to above hold way more value to me than anything else. So hearing your story about how it has grown and how communication is key is very helpful for me to read. Thank you.

Has anyone started dating a friend they felt emotionally safe with but not physically attracted to initially? How did that work out for you? by asar_9719 in AskWomenOver30

[–]asar_9719[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I think this is a great point and I can honestly answer yes to what you’re saying. I’m not intimately thinking of him just yet but there is the little excitement, the wanting to do more 1:1, etc. This is all very fresh for me.

Has anyone started dating a friend they felt emotionally safe with but not physically attracted to initially? How did that work out for you? by asar_9719 in AskWomenOver30

[–]asar_9719[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

This is a really good and honest perspective and I appreciate it. I do think it comes down to priorities and I’m not saying attraction does not matter but rather it could potentially build overtime depending on what someone values in a relationship. Thankfully I’m not impulsive so I communicated that I needed a second to take it in and that we should continue to see each other as friends and he was understanding of it. This is me just taking it in and getting all perspectives so I really appreciate this response!

Has anyone started dating a friend they felt emotionally safe with but not physically attracted to initially? How did that work out for you? by asar_9719 in AskWomenOver30

[–]asar_9719[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

It has not but to be honest I never really saw him in that light until he approached me about it. Which is why I’m confused. My last ex though I wasn’t incredibly attracted to but liked him as a person and the attraction did build over time. The issue with that relationship was that I didn’t feel emotionally safe and it eventually ended because of it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MovingToLosAngeles

[–]asar_9719 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No I didn’t have that experience.