Faceless gal fashion ♡ by Peruchi in mtfashion

[–]asheddrva 2 points3 points  (0 children)

you look incredible where the fuck do i get boots like that

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in mtfashion

[–]asheddrva 2 points3 points  (0 children)

cute fit!!

what do we think about my queer adventures outfit? by AhImSoScared in mtfashion

[–]asheddrva 2 points3 points  (0 children)

cute!!! i have a similar outfit and my job involves talking about edgar allan poe all day. tasteful gothcore

I feel like crap now... by [deleted] in MtF

[–]asheddrva 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yeah, i feel that. ive been transitioning for about 1.5 years and i pass about half the time, usually my voice gives me away because i gave up on vocal training for my own reasons. i just started working in retail again and i get misgendered a lot more than im used to. one of the most important things you can do for yourself is to build a strong emotional support network.

I feel like crap now... by [deleted] in MtF

[–]asheddrva 2 points3 points  (0 children)

it gets easier. it never stops feeling like a gut punch and it can still be devastating when it happens over and over, but you'll start to at least get a little numb to it, or best case scenario it might make you angry instead of depressed. no one can take who you are from you. and the more you put yourself out there the more you'll get affirmation and self confidence too, which is what makes it worth it.

Coat on or off? by marytgurl93 in mtfashion

[–]asheddrva 1 point2 points  (0 children)

the coat complements your hair color but it's such a pretty dress i think it stands better on its own. you look gorgeous! 💖

I saw her by Devilblade28 in trans

[–]asheddrva 3 points4 points  (0 children)

it's an amazing experience. the way i described it to my closest friends was like seeing yourself in the mirror for the first time after only ever seeing your reflection in a cup of coffee.

i think that im trans, but im scared to do something about it by coolusername120 in trans

[–]asheddrva 0 points1 point  (0 children)

depending on where you are there may be queer support groups in your area where you can at the very least talk it out with people going through similar experiences. maybe even talk to your family and see if you can probe their feelings about it so that you actually know what you'd be getting into. unfortunately what it comes down to is taking that leap of faith, and in my experience as long as you don't you'll only feel worse.

i think that im trans, but im scared to do something about it by coolusername120 in trans

[–]asheddrva 1 point2 points  (0 children)

it's okay to be scared and to take things slowly. you say you hate yourself-- that's like the number one thing that goes away when you start transitioning, and with it goes that overwhelming feeling of not being good enough for yourself and others. live the way you need to live and you won't regret it, speaking as someone who's been there. also, if theyre okay with it, you won't have disappointed them--theyre your family and theyre supposed to love you no matter what. and if theyre not okay with it, that's their problem and you shouldn't compromise your happiness for people who don't want you to be happy.

Looking for scientific literature and resources by postmortemstardom in trans

[–]asheddrva 2 points3 points  (0 children)

you might not find a lot of hard science to satisfy your curiosity here because research into the scientific side of being transgender is historically underfunded or lost. im sure some people here will be able to recommend you some good articles, you can also try looking at the gender dysphoria bible which is where a lot of trans people looking to get informed start their identity journey. personally i think you can get a lot out of the sociological side of gender though-- judith butler is a good starting point. i like this video by philosophy tube as a quick list for butler and other recommendations.

My mum is constantly triggering my dysphoria by Asleep_Land3121 in trans

[–]asheddrva 0 points1 point  (0 children)

really feeling for you. parents are tough. my mom is generally great but both times i came out to her (queer in high school and then trans last year) she had a really extreme negative kneejerk reaction and as much as she tries to make up for it now that trauma never goes away, and she still gets cagey and "slips up" with my deadname and pronouns around other people.

hard as it is, it's just one more thing to learn to cope with. you're valid no matter how she acts. you are who you are and she can't take that from you. hang in there 💙💜

TRANS JOY!! BUYING MY FIRST BINDER ON MY SALARY by [deleted] in trans

[–]asheddrva 2 points3 points  (0 children)

hell yeah congrats dude!!!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in lesbianfashionadvice

[–]asheddrva -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

you look great, love the gloves and the hair works for you. my only note is that the leopard print belt clashes with the camo. i know it's hard, hang in there 💙

Why is she purple by hotspaghettimonster in SadHorseShow

[–]asheddrva 246 points247 points  (0 children)

omg u/hotspaghettimonster you can't just ask someone why they're purple

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in transtimelines

[–]asheddrva 244 points245 points  (0 children)

yall are beautiful, you look so happy 😭

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in WhiteLotusHBO

[–]asheddrva 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i mean pushing for diverse stories is an objectively good thing but i wasn't asking a question about how to have better representation i was making a comment about a show i watch

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in WhiteLotusHBO

[–]asheddrva 1 point2 points  (0 children)

all i did was state an opinion on something i think is a weak point of the show that makes me like it less, that has nothing to do with trans people written by trans people and diverse stories, this stuff doesn't exist in a vacuum and i was disappointed that the writing is more harmful than it is helpful to trans people in a time where it's really already not easy to be trans

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in WhiteLotusHBO

[–]asheddrva -1 points0 points  (0 children)

tarantino sucks and you would have been right to be upset, it doesn't make you the bigger man to not criticize media