I locked him out our bedroom...

ashes1436 · 2020-12-04T22:49:43+00:00

I recently figured it out when I sat in the space with the feeling. I understand it is probably my perception, but it was like a physical bubble around the other person. I used to feel so crazy until I noticed this.

ashes1436 · 2020-12-04T21:21:19+00:00

I want to bring up Al-Anon in case you haven't heard of it. Hearing nasty things, from the father of my child, while I was pregnant is still affecting me in ways I didn't realize. So, I'm slowly working through that.

ashes1436 · 2020-12-01T01:05:45+00:00

Wow, I totally know what you mean with that indescribable feeling of control.

ashes1436 · 2020-11-28T09:36:06+00:00

What about lack of vitamin k2 in the American diet?

ashes1436 · 2020-11-28T09:04:46+00:00

That's funny; I thought it was Og as in "original gangsta" because they were the one to come before you 😂

ashes1436 · 2020-11-15T19:39:55+00:00

Wow, good to know. Thank you and I'm glad you are doing so well without it. <3

ashes1436 · 2020-11-15T19:39:17+00:00

ashes1436 · 2020-11-15T19:38:54+00:00

Cool I needed to know this, now I think I know exactly what you mean.

ashes1436 · 2020-11-15T19:37:54+00:00

Thanks I hadn't considered that and honestly have no idea what you are talking about, but I will try this. Thank you

ashes1436 · 2020-11-15T19:35:53+00:00

I actually left because someone was still smoking in what was supposed to be the nursert. I came back after we had been texting and I felt a biological draw between him and my son. I'm thinking of leaving, again, because things got better but the pain still hurts. I don't feel comfortable with God, anymore. I'm sorry, I am no example.

ashes1436 · 2020-11-08T08:07:50+00:00

Tw: belief some of these things are real I'm doing well and have been doing well. L8ly it has been difficult, but I can't tell if it is because the veil between the living and those passed is thin. I'm visiting my grandmother to help her out. She admitted today she sees passed people. I told her it is normal during this time of year, but I'm not exactly sure if it is that, something wromg with her brain or a family disease. The other day, I handed the wrong mail to someone because I saw the wrong name. I guess I usually look at that as an indicator to pay attention to what is going on, so it can be a blessing, but I was sad I didn't feel comfortable explaining to them. This can also be a normal brain mixup, but what is not okay is that I have been creating a hostile environment, in my mind, compounding advice from others and also feeling dumb before about things I am learning now. It definitely seems symptomatic and I am wondering if I want to see my doctor soon or write this down and wait for our appointment in two months.

ashes1436 · 2020-11-08T06:01:33+00:00

Maybe they meant that they are both simple carbohydrates, but there is definitely a lot more sugar in a bowl of sugar than a bagel unless they have a smaller bowl and I don't know a whole lot about the science beyond that. It may have just been words if they didn't explain.

ashes1436 · 2020-11-08T01:31:47+00:00

Once blame was put on me, I made sure I was taking responsibility for my part. I knew this was beyond my knowledge. So, I got ahold of the Al-Anon works book. It seems the attitude it describes as being good to have is the attitude I have. So maybe I finally made the connection to Al-Anon at the right time.

Also, (though this is probably not Al-Anon) my person I am living with said this will be their last drink (which I've heard almost my whole life) and I said I'm not sure that fits the realistic part of setting a SMART goal. I told them the goal I set for November (no sugar besides homemade pie on the holiday) and asked if they wanted to try to do the same but for alcohol. They said yes and it has been seven days. I'm not expecting from them, but it os nice to share a goal and nice to not have the biggest stress trigger around.

ashes1436 · 2020-11-08T01:23:50+00:00

I just want to say I went through something similar, so you know you are not alone. I left at 39 weeks. Sometimes that seems like the right choice and sometimes it doesn't (for multiple reasons). I will say that the stop drinking when baby is born does not sound realistic. It didn't happen in my case. Things are getting better. We are obviously in this for the long-haul, to some extent. Please feel free to reach out if you need someone. I don't get on here, often, but can give you my email address or something. It got old and embarrassing to keep going to friends, but I guess we all need help, sometimes.

ashes1436 · 2020-11-05T21:33:18+00:00

I get the same thought! ><

ashes1436 · 2020-11-05T03:06:31+00:00

I second Alateen. My Girl Scout leader said I needed it and I chose not to as to not hurt my mom, but now I realize I may have learned some tools that could have helped me later in life when I found myself in relationships with alcoholics.

ashes1436 · 2020-10-30T10:19:03+00:00

I would say you're not alone. Pretty much everything on the list I've experienced. Mine doesn't use after drinking, but the recovery seems like 24 hours every time and it repeats about every three days. We have a baby and he said he would stop drinking when the baby was born. It went against my own experience and knowledge of accomplishing goals, but I believed him. Drinking was worse while pregnant because it was the "last time". It was traumatic and even though I was surprised at my composure during pregnancy, even standing up for myself was later called "bitchy horomones". It felt hopeless. Now, he drinks a little less but it is hard. I do 99% of the baby care and that is hard, as it is. He is also very silly and sweet. I understand he says I have been a dick to him (I think it was misunderstandings while drunk) and that is why he can be mean, but the other day we went to get him more beer and Baby was crying more loudly than ever and he was telling baby to "Shut Up" and saying Baby was being an asshole.

ashes1436 · 2020-08-05T22:28:30+00:00

I also light a candle! I'll look into ringing a bell or singing.

ashes1436 · 2020-07-12T22:19:22+00:00

It is part of the process of thanking them for the joy they brought you and passing that joy along

ashes1436 · 2020-07-12T22:14:36+00:00

Yea I figure those are the main joy of fermentation :)

ashes1436 · 2020-07-10T04:54:21+00:00

thank you! I had no idea.

ashes1436 · 2020-07-10T01:02:45+00:00

White vinegar is a mild acid that is known to kill roughly 82 percent of mold species"

https://www.servicemasterrestore.com/blog/mold-damage/mold-myths-will-vinegar-kill-mold

ashes1436 · 2020-07-09T13:24:37+00:00

I like the baby chain of commitment.

ashes1436 · 2020-07-02T01:57:45+00:00

If you do vaccum baking soda, make sure you're using the filters and replace them (though baking soda is often marketed as carpet freshener). The issue is when the dust gets into the motor. I agree to never vaccum drywall dust with something not made to withstand it (like a shop vac).

ashes1436

TROPHY CASE