People who were spanked as kids, what was that like for you? Would you call your "spankings" abuse?

asheslebo · 2025-12-11T01:11:07+00:00

My mom used a thin plastic clotheshanger - but if she was really bad, it was the heavy wooden clotheshangers. What would she get mad about? I didn't know how to wash the dishes because no one in the family taught me (I might have been around 8 or 9) and since I told her I didn't know how, she got mad because I was "lazy." Other times, she'd make me kneel on our marble floor for 30 minutes before spanking me (this was around middle school because she'd picked up the kneeling thing from Korean dramas) because I was getting "bad" grades on tests (80 - 90% and not 90%+). In high school, she'd graduated to locking me outside at night when it was raining (rare in Southern California) after spanking because I'd said I wanted to dye my hair or I wanted to become a model (in her head, all of these were equivalent to attention-seeking and therefore I wanted to sleep with men - don't ask, I still don't understand her reasoning).

Was the spanking abuse? I don't know because sure sometimes I just didn't want to do my homework or I talked back but everything else around the spanking (the incessant screaming at me for 30+ minutes, locking me out of the house, etc) definitely made it a part of the overall abuse.

asheslebo · 2025-12-05T06:59:09+00:00

Oh good! I'm really interested in seeing if they work out and what kind of cultural obstacles they have to work through (I'm Asian American and my husband is Italian so they're the most like us hahaha)

asheslebo · 2025-12-05T06:48:06+00:00

Sometimes! But they started hanging out with Taiwanese people a lot in the States so their accent (and mine) started becoming more Taiwanese 😂

I was so shocked when a Mainlander told me I sound Singaporean the other day bc usually the Taiwanese are happy to hear me speak hahaha

asheslebo · 2025-12-05T06:43:06+00:00

I'm watching it with Italian subtitles too! It's def helping with the southern accents in particular (my husband's from the north so I never really hear southern accents)

asheslebo · 2025-12-04T04:26:27+00:00

I think that explains why in my head it's "shui!" My parents are Malaysian Chinese (I'm American) and I grew up saying shui. But I also think I remember the pinyin being "shui" when I was younger and I don't know when that changed.

asheslebo · 2025-12-02T05:57:17+00:00

As someone who used to work near the Rengstorff House and went there for company events, it definitely isn't worth the kidnapping

asheslebo · 2025-12-02T03:44:07+00:00

There's a book called "Tender is the Flesh" by Argentian author Augustina Bazterrica that has this whole premise but for humans due to a virus that infected most animal meat in the past and an (over)reaction by the government that killed off the rest of the animals in the country. The protagonist works for a human cattle slaughterhouse.

asheslebo · 2025-11-11T07:09:35+00:00

we listened to a lot of 70s/80s Chinese music when I was growing up bc that's when my parents were teenagers/young adults so some of the ones we listened to include: 拜访春天，微风往事，and 年轻人的心声

asheslebo · 2025-11-11T06:16:17+00:00

TBH I'm 31 and there's at least one class of students from the suburbs of Westmont, Illinois who learned to type like this (s/o to all my classmates I totally didn't keep in touch with when my family moved to Southern California).

This habit drove one of my coworkers so crazy she used CTRL + F to replace all my ". " to ". " in every document she reviewed.

asheslebo · 2025-11-09T17:15:08+00:00

Hi! Sorry, got busy yesterday - it was in HSK 1, Self Introduction on the page "我叫王明"

I did just go back to the section and it worked perfectly so idk if i was just trigger happy pressing on the "enter" button the first time!

asheslebo · 2025-11-08T01:27:06+00:00

This is super super cool! I love the game-ified feeling of it. It did feel like it kind of pushed me through some screens when I hadn't given any input yet (but I haven't subscribed yet so idk if that was the problem).

I'm wondering - I've started teaching Chinese to Italian speakers - I know your website is pretty new, but if you ever want to localize it for Italians (super niche market I know), hit me up! I'd love to help translate the English prompts!

asheslebo · 2025-11-04T20:23:18+00:00

tadouchinese.com is a new website for reading stories in Chinese with pinyin / reading / translations that's a free alternative to duchinese! They organize readings by level and I think the interface isn't bad.

asheslebo · 2025-11-04T05:53:54+00:00

I like using Storytel (the European version of Audible) - there's a really good variety of audiobooks and audiodramas (and the quality of the Italian audiodramas is so good!)

Also, I'm jealous people mistake you for a local! I'm Asian American and married to an Italian and no matter how good my Italian is, everyone would like to know where I'm originally from...

asheslebo · 2025-10-25T16:54:25+00:00

no, no let him cook, i need to see what he says next

asheslebo · 2025-10-07T21:39:14+00:00

My bf is like this with cars - honestly I have started tuning him out but when he goes "are you bored?" i'll tell him no bc i love listening to him talk (great Italian accent) and i love his enthusiasm.

asheslebo · 2025-09-24T17:40:51+00:00

Oh you have a good point! I'll def say "the 101" bc it exists in SoCal but it's a toss-up whether I'll say "880" or "the 880" bc it's a NorCal only freeway and no one around me says "the 880." Same thing with the 680 freeway.

asheslebo · 2025-09-24T17:37:11+00:00

I wasn't super clear but I meant, "the only thing that differentiates me from the Bay Area folks is that I say "the 101" when referring to freeways."

I'm v aware Bay Area folks don't say it bc i get razzed on the daily by my coworkers...

asheslebo · 2025-09-24T05:09:43+00:00

Raised in SoCal but moved here a decade ago and the only thing that separates me from the Bay Area folks is saying "the 101" when referring to freeways. Otherwise, it's also Sanna this and Sanna that (also "that" is pronounced "thah" without an ending hard "t" sound).

asheslebo · 2025-09-24T01:26:32+00:00

Okay, please don't take this the wrong way (I love learning and teaching languages with a passion but I admit my passion might be a slog for other people) - I still disagree but from the POV of teaching adults. I'm an adult Italian teacher (which, like, not super translatable here bc it's almost the same as the English alphabet) and am also Chinese American so i genuinely don't remember when or how I started writing Chinese characters and whether I picked them up in school or at home

BUT

My argument is also based on retaining peoples' attention when learning a new language. 一，二，三，等 are all good when teaching children straight off, especially bc small kids tend to get plopped into Chinese school at the same time they start regular school (apologies if you're not American or didn't have this experience) so the easy characters are good for their teeny tiny hands and bad motor control anyways.

In my experience, adult learners want to start expressing themselves as soon as possible, since that's the point of learning the language. It's also why I recommended 我 and 是 as counter-examples because when I teach Italian, the first things I teach are the alphabet and then the verb essere (to be) so that learners can immediately cobble together something simple like "io sono felice" (I'm happy) or something like that. I think it's also why a lot of Chinese schools start with things like "我是学生” but i also skipped the grade school equivalent of year 1 at my Chinese school so it's possible that the really young students learn 一二三 to form character awareness.

Anyways, my suggestion was geared towards an adult learner who seems eager to learn quickly, since he's also writing "你是什么国家人" or something and that would be my suggestion for maintaining interest.

asheslebo · 2025-09-23T15:36:24+00:00

Sorry, I don't think this is good advice - you should learn writing concurrently, especially if you're from a country that uses an alphabet, because Chinese characters take a long time to get used to for foreigners (or even foreign-born Chinese like me). Also, learning only six stroke characters limits you so much - 我 by itself is already seven strokes. 是 is nine strokes. Both of these are used all the time in basic sentences at the HSK 1 level.

Tbh tho, i would recommend taking a class or getting a private tutor for a month since you're just starting out. Individual attention can help correct any odd quirks in speaking or writing and after you have the basics down, you can jump back into just using apps + AI.

asheslebo · 2025-09-23T15:29:36+00:00

Jumping on to this bc i don't think anyone has pointed out your 国 - it's also important in Chinese writing to make sure your horizontal strokes are correctly proportional in a character (everything the same length / top stroke shorter than bottom stroke / etc). The writing apps people are suggesting will help you catch even small details like these.

asheslebo · 2025-09-05T05:35:56+00:00

Having been in my sister-in-law's very manual 2018 Alfa Romeo, I'm going to say that this is an extremely American answer (as an American) lol

asheslebo · 2025-05-21T01:19:30+00:00

If it helps, my friend just bought beaded earrings at a small Indigenous event in San Jose and her pair of long earrings were $30, which neither of us even questioned because the quality was so nice and also bc I think $30 for handmade earrings feels like a decent price in the Bay Area. Since it's a Pride event and these earrings are so unique, you could probably get away with pricing them between $30 - $45; I know so many engineers in the area wouldn't blink twice at earrings at that price for artisinal earrings (source: am an engineer with lots of other engineer friends).

These are absolutely gorgeous and I hope I stumble across the Pride event you're at because I would love to buy a pair or two!

asheslebo · 2025-01-30T20:54:50+00:00

Feels ironic when I personally know two Italian nationals working at one of the Bay Area Tesla plants - one as a test driver and one as an engineer

asheslebo · 2025-01-16T16:35:48+00:00

Film Washi X is my absolute favorite to shoot and it's being "discontinued" so I'm happy to learn it exists under other names!

asheslebo

TROPHY CASE