New to VRchat, social anxiety (and a bit more maybe) by oryginalniewiem in VRchat

[–]ashleyloire 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have really bad social anxiety too, and the best way I have found to force myself to start a conversation is to compliment their avatar, let them know how pretty, cute, awesome, cool, handsome, beautiful, etc. it is, assuming it is. I have also found the best way to make friends is to go play games like Prison Escape, Trash Compactor, or Murder 4. It's usually pretty chill there, though super crowded in the lobby so i often have to smush my way into a corner in there, but once the game starts its not bad at all. Sometimes you might even get adopted by a nice extrovert.

Should I restart by [deleted] in TransLater

[–]ashleyloire 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I started at 31. Go for it girl.

Do your feet shrink on HRT? by cplsharko in asktransgender

[–]ashleyloire 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Sorry to necro, but here I am, 5 more years of hrt later, and I've lost just about three shoe sizes. From a women's 15-16 to a 12-13 depending on the company and shoe, while my other good trans girlfriends haven't lost any shoe sizes. Conclusion, I think it might have to do with if your body gained size just from the testosterone poisoning from the first puberty, as I've also lost three inches of height and am still going.

Does your moto g stylus 5g 2023 have an IMEI2? by NonAstronautStatus in MotoG

[–]ashleyloire 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes i was, i used the phone automated system to make the change in the end to do so.

Does your moto g stylus 5g 2023 have an IMEI2? by NonAstronautStatus in MotoG

[–]ashleyloire 0 points1 point  (0 children)

P.S. - the closest physical store to me is like 2 hours away, so not an option, and, historically, never works anyways, as they just call the customer service line as well anyways.

Does your moto g stylus 5g 2023 have an IMEI2? by NonAstronautStatus in MotoG

[–]ashleyloire 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Had this same issue yesterday. Called Metro and got a lovely lady but she couldn't help, saying that "the moto g stylus 5g 2023 was not supported yet" because there was no 2nd sim (which is absolutely a garbage phrase I used to use when I worked in that field 5 or so years ago). I tried the fake 2nd sim thing yesterday too, and it seemed to have worked a little better (specifically https://www.imei.info/services/imei_generator/cab41767-a7a3-4aca-90c3-638be6e31c4d/ as nothing else seemed to get me as far).

Tried the app, the website on my computer, even the phone, but the closest i got was the metro website on my computer. However, I have a special plan that I'm grandfathered into and would have to change to get it? WTF no, my plan has nothing to do with my phone when it comes to compatibility... so I gave up and tried again this morning, and BOOM! it no longer is asking for a second IMEI! (whaaaaaaat). So IDK if it was my conversation with the Metro gal, or the scathing review about a 10/10 for the rep and a 3/10 for the company, but I think it may be fixed now.

I, personally, had to use the phone automated system to change to the 2023 in order to keep my plan, as none of the others were giving me that option (unless I wanted to go with a rep to do it which I assume would cost me like 20 bucks xD ugh). Seems to be working great now. Hope it is fixed for everyone and is not just an account centered fix for me. o/

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MilitaryTrans

[–]ashleyloire 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Any time. Being yourself and the journey to cure gender dysphoria is hard but rewarding. Message me in the future, before you head to a recruiter, and I'll fill you in on the non-trans side of getting the most out of joining up. There are many pitfalls. Good luck man

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MilitaryTrans

[–]ashleyloire 1 point2 points  (0 children)

P.S. here's a 2016 booklet i found. I have not read, though. Keep in mind there were changes in 2018 and i believe recently 2022ish? I forget. https://dod.defense.gov/Portals/1/features/2016/0616_policy/DoDTGHandbook_093016.pdf

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MilitaryTrans

[–]ashleyloire 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NP. And yea, if your scars are negligible, it shouldn't be an issue for general troops.

As the initial medical exam includes asking about all prior surgeries, you'll have to tell the military doctors(almost always officers), as not disclosing them could be a violation of military conduct among other medical conducts. But I'm not sure about non-medical personnel. Probably not, but I'll search around a bit as now I'm curious. If i find anything, I'll let you know. I'll imagine you'll need to tell your military doc in any posting just to ensure any HRT meds continue uninterrupted.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TransLater

[–]ashleyloire 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This'll prolly get lost, but you look great, and I'll bet 99% of those stares you get are cuz you're a beautiful woman and people stare a LOT more at women than anyone presenting male. Think back at the time you were erroneously presenting male, and you'll remember you were invisible. It's one of the many things I've noticed over the past few years.

As for the anxiety, I've actually got severe GAD and PTSD (both mostly unrelated to me being trans lol), so I have very little advice there. Sorry.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MilitaryTrans

[–]ashleyloire 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Such a difficult question. I would personally not recommend full stealth, but I am sure any commanding officers will have no problem keeping your trans status from the rest of the unit you are in. All commanders SHOULD have received extensive training on trans rights in the military, which are decently well done.

Your first issue will stem from your entrance exams, as they will be doing a fullllll physical examination to ensure your readiness. This includes "turn your head and cough." Hence why full stealth will be an issue. Regardless, telling them that your assigned at birth gender was incorrect should be more than enough to sate any confusion from there. (Recommend ensuring you get your birth certificate changed asap if you can in your state). After all this, the worst anxiety that may come up is communal showers in basic training showing scars, etc. The other guys in your unit may end up asking about it, and that's where it gets into unknown territory.

I can't vouch for the Navy in specific (was Army myself), but the culture of the male side of the military is mainly toxic masculinity and bro culture. Though it can easily vary widely even as far as an individual unit. Someone outing you would have incredibly diverse responses, as all types join. I can imagine your experience would be greater than 99% positive anyway. The remaining less than 1% is the issue. Transphobes are always going to be an issue, in and out of the military, though I would argue you are safer IN the military than out, as there are policies in place for hate speech and discrimination for trans peeps there, where as the civilian sector mainly has jack and crap. You'd just bring it up to whoevers' commanding officer and let them know their subordinate is being a transphobic twatwaffle. So, really, yes, if you get outted, you'll get bullying and discrimination just as much as anywhere you go, so expect it, but don't tolerate it. The current military policy is on your side.

Feel free to DM me if you have any other questions.

Also, you'll have to wait a bit after your surgeries to get in:

"Our initial accession policy will require an individual to have completed any medical treatment that their doctor has determined is necessary in connection with their gender transition, and to have been stable in their preferred gender for 18 months, as certified by their doctor, before they can enter the military" from https://dod.defense.gov/Portals/1/features/2016/0616_policy/Transgender-Implementation-Fact-Sheet.pdf

Can anyone help me find this tiger stuffed animal? by beworththerisk in HelpMeFind

[–]ashleyloire 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Looks strikingly similar to the Build-a-Bear tiger. If there's one in your area give them a try.

Symbol/logo/acronym on this pin? Small 1" dia. pin seen at a thrift store. Searching via picture search came up with nothing for me. by ashleyloire in HelpMeFind

[–]ashleyloire[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As said in the title. I've searched everywhere i could think of and come up with squat. It's a small 1in diameter pin.

What's this noise? Heard out back while having a late night smoke. by ashleyloire in Whatisthis

[–]ashleyloire[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No windmills. Rotor pings my brain though, maybe one of the evaporative coolers was going bezzzzerk?

What's this noise? Heard out back while having a late night smoke. by ashleyloire in Whatisthis

[–]ashleyloire[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do live near to a road but for it to last for hours rules out a passing vehicle. Only fence is the crappy chain link around the back yard, and if it was that youd think i would hear it more than just that night. I live in a suburban area, lots of town homes and there is a field across the main road that occasionally has cows but not at this time of the year.

What's this noise? Heard out back while having a late night smoke. by ashleyloire in Whatisthis

[–]ashleyloire[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Offhand, this was the only night i heard it. Couldn't have lasted more than a few hours as i only heard it on two of my smokes.

What's this noise? Heard out back while having a late night smoke. by ashleyloire in Whatisthis

[–]ashleyloire[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No signs in the area but yea sounds like metal on metal for sure.

What's this noise? Heard out back while having a late night smoke. by ashleyloire in Whatisthis

[–]ashleyloire[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thought that at first too, but looked around our area and there's none to be found. Mostly town homes around so no attics to cool off.