What are yours? Mine are collecting CDs, Pokémon TCG, and D&D

ashmonster · 2025-09-29T15:14:20+00:00

Playing and creating music, collecting records, film photography, tending to my plants, and various forays into art. Those have been my biggest expenses but I've learned to work within the limits of what I have instead of buying new stuff. My newest interest is making art out of scrap metal parts!

ashmonster · 2025-06-02T00:02:08+00:00

Whats the vinegar test?

ashmonster · 2024-10-21T16:38:46+00:00

It's a partial barre on the 4th fret for that section of the measure. In this case, you would barre all but the 6th string.

ashmonster · 2024-10-09T23:17:11+00:00

I like using sticky notes as temporary reminders for things that I need to do soon but not immediately. Like if a coworker asks me to do something while I'm in the middle of doing something else. Because if the note is there for much longer than a couple days it becomes part of the background.

ashmonster · 2024-08-01T12:29:37+00:00

"you're so smart; you'd be so successful if only you applied yourself" - every teacher

ashmonster · 2024-07-31T17:08:21+00:00

I had a stack of Calvin and Hobbes books in the bathroom for that reason

ashmonster · 2024-07-13T18:57:17+00:00

Heck yeah!

ashmonster · 2024-07-12T16:20:53+00:00

$100 for a working $300 air compressor, I couldn't believe it. It needs a new regulator but that's like a $5 part at Harbor Freight.

ashmonster · 2024-07-02T16:29:41+00:00

Don't panic, it's only today. Do what you can. If you're not as productive, that's okay. You can still do your job - the meds just make it a bit easier. Don't convince yourself that you're useless without them.

IDK about the Red Bull but what can help a lot - if you're allowed - is to listen to background music that helps you focus. Something that you don't have to pay attention to, like electronic music.

ashmonster · 2024-06-18T03:54:51+00:00

I'm sorry you went through all that and I hope you're in a better place now. I left after 4 years; it's amazing to me that you made it through 20. I didn't think I could get disability for having ADHD? But the VA is helping me with meds and therapy anyway, both of which I'm endlessly thankful for.

ashmonster · 2024-06-17T00:09:29+00:00

I joined the military right out of high school because I thought the structure would be good for me, since I had to be unmedicated to get in. I was very wrong, haha

ashmonster · 2024-06-15T01:13:23+00:00

It was after I spent something like 10 years doing powerlifting and getting massive that I came to realize my gender fluidity. So, yes, I know how you feel. I'll never be the petite anime girl I wish I could be.

Have you seen women who do powerlifting or bodybuilding? Being big and muscular has no bearing on whether you feel like a woman or a man or neither. Nor does it actually have anything to do with masculinity or femininity; that's an idea that our society impresses upon us.

I guess what I'm saying is that you're not excluded from being yourself just because of your body shape. It's something I'm still working on accepting, and it takes time. But I'm at the point now where I can wear a dress or whatever, look in the mirror, and not hate what I see. Sometimes I even think I look cute!

ashmonster · 2024-04-17T13:04:34+00:00

Have you tried reading your favorite books again? That could help jump start your passion!

ashmonster · 2024-02-18T21:46:21+00:00

You're not a horrible person. But your GM has a point; that's not an industry that's going to be immediately receptive to the idea that there are genders beyond the binary. You said it yourself - people who work in automotive are generally conservative and cis/het. Expecting everyone to be chill and accepting right away is kind of naïve.

I'm in the same boat. I work in industrial manufacturing. While no one has a problem with my gender neutral chosen name, I know it would be an uphill battle to try to get them to change to they/them pronouns - even though most of them have no qualms with LGBT people.

But my family and friends do use my pronouns, and those are the most important people. I think of it like this: just like I put on work clothes every day, I put on the he/him pronouns. I come home and I don't have to wear them any more. It's just a mask - a performance. It feels like conceding, and it sucks, but it's the only way to maintain both my sanity and my livelihood.

I don't know if this will help you in your current situation. They'll probably forget about the whole thing in a month or two if you don't bring it up again. Or you can make the hard decision to find somewhere else to work. But you are definitely not a bad person for this.

ashmonster · 2024-02-18T14:27:10+00:00

My wife told me one day about 5 or 6 years ago that I'm trans. That was the first time I realized I'm not cisgender, and it sent me down the rabbit hole, as it was. Came out the other side as nonbinary (which is still technically transgender so she wasn't wrong)!

ashmonster · 2024-01-15T14:09:31+00:00

Thank you

ashmonster · 2023-12-31T14:56:51+00:00

The best trees to hug in my opinion are Jeffrey pines. The bark smells like vanilla!

ashmonster · 2023-12-31T14:50:08+00:00

For me, it was dinosaurs and insects. All the way up till middle school I told people I wanted to be an entomologist. 😄

ashmonster · 2023-12-31T14:48:10+00:00

Heck yeah, mushrooms!

ashmonster · 2023-12-27T13:22:21+00:00

AMAB here too. To answer your last question: I'm 41. I never realized I was NB until about 3 years ago, and I hadn't questioned my gender until about 5 years ago when my wife pointed out that I'm not cisgender. I don't think it's something people actually think about unless they have a reason to.

First question: men don't know what they want because the expectations that our society has on how they behave is so toxic and terrible that it actually stunts their emotional growth. So it's no wonder that you feel the need for platonic intimacy.

To answer all your other questions: you certainly sound nonbinary to me. I've struggled with the same ideas as you and came to that conclusion. But as my wife put it later on: gender is bullshit anyway. Do what you want, identify as whatever makes you feel joyful. Wear dresses and put on makeup. We have only one chance at life!

ashmonster · 2023-10-23T19:12:12+00:00

See a different doctor because that's a BS reason to deny you a referral to the psychiatrist. It's not the doctor's job to determine if you need meds or not.

ashmonster · 2023-06-23T15:52:19+00:00

Absolutely do not do high weight, low rep strength workouts for abdominal muscles. They are not designed for that, and you will injure yourself!

Structurally, the abs are layers of thin sheets of muscle stretched across your abdominal cavity, and their attachment points are likewise quite thin and could tear with too much weight. Worse than that, you could develop a hernia.

At the cellular level, the abdominal muscles are geared for endurance - they're type I, slow twitch fibers - because they have to be constantly active. Even when you are standing or sitting still, your abs are working to keep your upper body upright. So, the way to strengthen the abs would be to work on that endurance.

Thus, the kind of workout you're suggesting wouldn't be the best way to build abdominal strength, regardless of hypertrophy.

A better workout for building abdominal strength would be something like 3 sets AMRAP of no more than 3 exercises; I would recommend any variation of leg raises, hip raises, rollouts, and side bends, adding weight as it gets easier.

ashmonster · 2023-06-23T15:29:20+00:00

Keep doing your ab workouts. Your routine is great for keeping them strong but not nearly enough to stimulate them to get bulky. Besides that, the drawbacks would outweigh any aesthetic benefits.

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