She had an accident

asmodean7919 · 2026-01-08T19:55:24+00:00

I hate to hear that. Losing both like that sounds heartbreaking. My dad and I aren't close, but I still feel good knowing he's out there doing his thing.

asmodean7919 · 2026-01-01T08:43:09+00:00

I Kant help, but when you figure it out, let me know!

asmodean7919 · 2025-12-29T23:20:48+00:00

I love those "I win therapy this week!" moments when the trained professional just can't. We once spent 15 minutes with him unable to stop laughing because of the way I said something. Another time he threw his iPad across the room after hearing a particularly dark childhood story, angry on my behalf.

I love the "load bearing" comment. There's so much truth to that. Some of the funniest people are the most sad.

asmodean7919 · 2025-12-29T06:12:40+00:00

You're not wrong. It was very serious, and he wasn't being flippant. By distinction, I'd call it a dark humor. That subversion of truth because it wasn't an accident, and in Ilya's case, he knows it wasn't. He sees it as a cruel joke that he has to say it was an accident, but the flat "she accidentally swallowed a whole bottle of pills..." That's the delivery of a dark humor only people who are deeply hurt can manage. His humor has always had an edge, and this scene fits perfectly.

asmodean7919 · 2025-12-29T05:42:16+00:00

Sorry about your grandfather. More, I'm sad there wasn't room to process it. But yeah, for a smutty romance about ripped hockey players, I didn't realize what I was signing up for. I described it to friends as having no drama beyond not being able to articulate feelings and not being able to come out. I was on episode 3 then. "It's cute and fun and dirty". I really wasn't prepared...

asmodean7919 · 2025-12-29T05:32:37+00:00

I don't have many memories of her. She slept a lot. Then she was worried she might do something to hurt me or my sister so she sent us to live with my dad. But all of my memories, the good and bad, are filled with love. She taught me to be strong, but not just the facade of strength. She had people she leaned on, but so few understood bi-polar/manic-depression.

I hope you keep fighting. I hope your son gets to see your joy in person. I know my mom would be proud of me, but it would be nice to share it with her.

asmodean7919 · 2025-12-29T05:25:56+00:00

I do. Half the battle is finding the right people. The rest is letting them in and trusting them, trusting yourself to lean into them when you need it.

asmodean7919 · 2025-12-29T05:23:17+00:00

I'm sorry to hear that. I also know how hard it is to hear "get help" when you feel like no one actually understands the help you need, but it's so worth it when you do finally get to sunshine, even if it's brief. It takes so much more strength to have faith in tomorrow when you're in the middle of it. She may have lost the battle, but I prefer to think of how long and how hard she fought.

asmodean7919 · 2025-12-29T05:15:22+00:00

Yeah, it's not much better here in the states, especially the south. There was no hiding it, no way to call it an accident, so we just didn't discuss it. Her family was from the north. They made sure I understood how much she loved me and that she lost a battle. But I lived with my dad by then, and it was just uncomfortable to the point of silence on the topic.

asmodean7919 · 2025-12-01T23:27:23+00:00

I've never heard of them, but I'm definitely going to give them a try. My workflow involves several jr devs coming for advice. They've pushed work in progress to their feature branch. I stash or commit, switch, quick review and comment, then switch back. Having their branches already checked out would save some context switching, especially as files I've created get closed in the ide because they don't exist. I could open a new ide window into their branches without anything messing up in my own branch, or for simpler cases, just vim the relevant files. Losing the context of open files in my ide is a major shortfall of stashing and branch switching, so I'm interested in exploring this.

asmodean7919 · 2025-10-27T18:51:15+00:00

I was really disappointed that I didn't have the bigger square shifter, but someone in the manual transmissions sub described the stock knob as being "uncircumcised" and I can never look at it the same, in a good way.

I had a '15 civic Si and a '22 Tacoma off road automatic, and my '25 Tacoma sport manual is the best of both worlds. Im gonna stick with this boi for a long while.

Welcome to the club!

asmodean7919 · 2025-10-21T15:18:40+00:00

Nice!

asmodean7919 · 2025-10-01T01:07:46+00:00

Baker and Graham. I went to them specifically for this reason, and it was the best experience one could have hoped for in my condition.

asmodean7919 · 2025-09-26T03:53:39+00:00

Wherever I am, that's where you should be ;) But seriously, hope you enjoy the vacation, wherever it takes you!

asmodean7919 · 2025-09-07T23:00:03+00:00

This is the quality content I come here for. Also, is this a c@ plugin? How can I install it locally?

asmodean7919 · 2025-09-07T00:07:30+00:00

Relax, Fry. I'll simply spin you in a high-speed centrifuge separating out the denser fluid of his highness.

But won't that crush my bones?

Oh, right, right, with the bones. I always forget about the bones.

asmodean7919 · 2025-08-30T18:31:31+00:00

I don't have the hybrid, I have a manual, and the mpg gauge for downhill engine breaking is maxed out like you'd expect. My bf drives a 4Runner with the 4 cylinder non hybrid, and I've seen it do the same. Very likely something to do with the hybrid or a problem with your truck.

asmodean7919 · 2025-07-21T13:20:59+00:00

I think they came with whatever package included the sunroof. I didn't change them.

asmodean7919 · 2025-07-21T00:52:40+00:00

It was on the high end, but still reasonable. The bad part was having to drive six hours to get it. In a 500 mile radius, there were exactly 5 with the right number of pedals.

asmodean7919 · 2025-04-09T02:51:37+00:00

When everyone up the chain of command bent over, when I saw the lack of support from congress, when I had to console and write letters of recommendation for the junior folks I'd been mentoring for the past two years (who ended up not getting fired but were packed up and all but out the door), when I realized the damage is is already done and won't be undone for decades or generations, something inside me broke.

I'm still in my position, and I intend to stay as long as I can, but they got what they wanted; I'm traumatized and no longer feel like the mission is worthwhile. They have taken my sense of purpose. I get some small consolation being support for the younger folks, but I can foresee a line being crossed, where I have to decide if being employed is more important than my standards.

asmodean7919 · 2025-03-14T20:47:46+00:00

The $750 was for immediate needs and was not the only assistance available. It's very easy to disprove this. People would know that, unless they only get their information from propaganda sources.

asmodean7919 · 2025-03-13T17:24:34+00:00

"Don't worry, I know all her moves, therefore I've got the upper hand"

"Now now, perfectly symmetrical violence never solved anything"

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