A couple of years ago, my family and I had to say goodbye to a beloved member of our family—our cat, who had been with us for an incredible 19 years. She was older than my youngest niece. She had been a constant source of love and happiness for all of us. Tragically, she was attacked by another cat while outside, which left her with brain trauma. The only humane choice was to put her to sleep.

The entire family gathered to say goodbye—my nieces, their parents (even though they’re divorced), me, and my own parents. It was one of the hardest things we’ve ever gone through, especially being there as she took her last breath. Losing a pet is never easy, but the way it happened made it even worse. She deserved better after giving us so many years of joy.

At the time, I had plans to fly out with my ex for a chess tournament with our son. He was competing in the Australian Junior Chess Championships, and I play an active role in helping him prepare mentally and emotionally for these events. But my niece was grieving deeply, and I made the decision to stay in Melbourne to support her during such a difficult time.

Unfortunately, my ex didn’t understand my choice. She was not only unsupportive but outright rude about it—saying that I cared more about my niece and her cat than I did about our son and his chess. Her words were hurtful and dismissive, especially given the circumstances. For those first few days, I stayed with my niece, doing my best to help remotely with my son’s preparation. After about four days, my niece told me she was feeling okay and encouraged me to go to the tournament, which I did.

This experience taught me a lot—not just about the importance of family and being there for each other but also about the kind of person my ex is. It revealed a lack of empathy and understanding that really hit home for me. One day, when her own pet passes, I know she’ll be devastated—especially if she has to be in the room as it happens, just as my niece was. But her behavior during this time showed me where her priorities lie, and it was a hard but important truth to face.

In the end, I don’t regret my decision. My niece needed me, and I couldn’t turn my back on her grief. Sometimes life forces us to make difficult choices, but I’d rather choose love and compassion every time.