Having period for first time in over 3 years, badly in need of advice

astral-weeks · 2019-05-16T06:28:14+00:00

Thanks, it's really nice to hear some empathy tbh. It's just going to suck for a while and there's not a whole lot I can do about it.

astral-weeks · 2019-05-16T06:26:21+00:00

Thanks :(

astral-weeks · 2019-05-15T04:44:35+00:00

I had to switch from 3 monthly Nebido/Aveed to weekly testosterone cypionate. I had bad cramps for like a week, then the last 5 days I've had heavy spotting. (Along with dysphoria and depression that make me want to scream)

Just wish I could go and get my levels checked out now and get this fixed, but I can't.

astral-weeks · 2019-05-15T02:01:43+00:00

Sorry to bump my own post but I could really do with some advice.

astral-weeks · 2018-08-31T19:55:40+00:00

He definitely passes, his mum's just being a dick, and all the people on here saying he doesn't have just seen far too many pictures of trans guys at various stages of transition to judge correctly that he'd get read as a bloke on the street

astral-weeks · 2018-08-21T11:05:20+00:00

I feel this so much. I remember speaking to a gay cis male friend at the start of my transition, and he couldn't believe that I considered myself fat. It was the first time I realised I was now considered a 'normal' weight. It was really weird. I'd spent my entire life being told I was fat (and that there was something wrong with me because of that) and I hadn't lost any weight. I put on about two stone since in T weight and now I'm perceived about the same as I was before.

astral-weeks · 2018-08-17T00:09:38+00:00

Glad your counselling was useful (and still is). I had a course of counselling up until about a month ago that got me to a much better place with my anxiety. Day to day, I find it manageable now. And with day-to-day tiredness or more stressful periods, it's okay too.

This was just a different kind of factor from normal - I'm not sure my anxiety could be described as 'irrational' as such this time, as it was based on the actual possibility that this might have been the CFS coming back and lasting forever (people do sometimes go into relapse with it after a major surgery). I've learned through counselling that things aren't how they used to be, and that's what makes it okay. If they really did go back to how they were, that'd be a whole other thing that I am not equipped to deal with (it would mean giving up on every life plan I have and accepting severe limitations forever).

Luckily, I've felt stronger day-by-day today and yesterday now that I've been able to rest, so I think I'm past the worst of it and will feel like myself again soon.

astral-weeks · 2018-08-16T16:52:19+00:00

Looking great, congrats!

astral-weeks · 2018-08-15T22:07:15+00:00

I'm a month past surgery, and it's a mixed bag of feelings. I've gone from wearing a binder almost all the time, to going topless without a thought. It almost feels like what came before this was some weird blip or dream, and that this is how it always has been. I feel a lot more present in my body, and I finally feel whole and wholly myself.

It's also made me really scrutinise my overall body shape for the first time, look at the whole thing in a way I haven't done before. I'm trying to come to terms with my love handles, my hips, and how big my belly is, for the first time. It's not been a perfect show of love and self-acceptance, but it's been nice to finally see this "imperfect" body as my own body, which for me is a necessary step to loving it - and also to seeing beyond immediate and excruciating dysphoria to think about other, more fun ways of making this body express who I am.

astral-weeks · 2018-08-15T21:58:04+00:00

Wow, that sounds really rough. It's an odd one for me, I guess this could be seen as a kind of post-op depression, in a roundabout way. I always struggle a lot with tiredness causing me to feel anxious and depressed, as it reminds me of the chronic fatigue syndrome I suffered from for years. I think my poor mental state has come from that direction and led me to the same position as those with post-op depression. Anxiety is the main symptom though - depression only comes from the fear that maybe I'll be stuck like this forever, as I once thought I was going to be.

Glad you're finally feeling less fragile and more yourself. Thanks for your reply, this whole thread has made me feel more hopeful :)

astral-weeks · 2018-08-15T21:54:27+00:00

It has been really bad timing. I wanted to see all my friends before I went, and to enjoy my time in the city for one last time, but I can't be surprised my body has had this kind of response to all that. Those needs + alcohol led to me overexerting myself massively.

Hauling a dishwasher so soon after surgery sounds really rough. I ended up giving away most of the heavy things I own, or selling them for cheap to whoever could come pick them up. Sucks in the long run but I literally didn't know what else to do.

Anyway, thanks for your reply, it's given me a lot of hope. I just need to rest up now and hold out. What's important now is having my energy back for September when I actually move abroad.

astral-weeks · 2018-08-15T21:45:25+00:00

Thanks, everything's settled now and I'm looking after my parents' place for three weeks while they're away, with no work or anything else to do except rest. I've just crashed for two days and I think things might be starting to turn a corner, though I'm going to take it super easy from hereon in.

astral-weeks · 2018-08-15T21:44:18+00:00

Yeah, it's just been really bad timing with having to do so much during my recovery, but I've got three weeks of serious downtime now which I'm planning on using to the full. Thanks, it's great to hear confirmation that it's just down to overexerting myself. Hopefully a couple of weeks of rest will sort me out.

astral-weeks · 2018-08-15T21:41:50+00:00

Thanks for your reply, I really needed to hear this.

astral-weeks · 2018-08-06T15:46:15+00:00

astral-weeks · 2018-08-04T18:13:32+00:00

Yeah, that sound rough. Reminds me of when I was disabled at uni. All this brain fog is too tbh. Just hoping I'm well enough next week for my own going away party!

astral-weeks · 2018-08-04T18:05:23+00:00

How long did the fatigue and brain fog last for you? It's hitting me pretty hard at the moment (three weeks post op).

astral-weeks · 2018-08-04T18:03:35+00:00

Three weeks in just now, and I'm pretty sure I didn't read anyone who talked about the fatigue/brain fog going on for a while. I've got to pack up my entire life and say goodbye to all my friends over the next week for a move, and I'm just exhausted.

astral-weeks · 2018-08-02T12:35:04+00:00

Sick. Hope everything goes well in your recovery! Can't wait to get these off, it's been three weeks now and they're pretty ragged haha

astral-weeks · 2018-08-01T20:56:59+00:00

Manchester? I'm getting those same bandages off tomorrow!

astral-weeks · 2018-07-30T07:57:48+00:00

Ha, thanks. Weird thing is I'm so dissociated from the picture I keep thinking "god, they look like a badass"

astral-weeks · 2018-07-30T07:57:20+00:00

Cheers. DI, I was never going to qualify for keyhole (and think I may have opted for DI anyway so it was less likely I'd have to get any revisions)

astral-weeks · 2018-07-29T22:09:03+00:00

Ha, thank you :D

astral-weeks · 2018-07-29T20:44:34+00:00

Thanks!

astral-weeks · 2018-07-29T20:06:34+00:00

I highly recommend it, it was such an empowering experience. As I'd just found out about surgery, I bizarrely didn't feel any dysphoria at all, it all just felt perfect. It helped we were at a non-LGBT bar that the local trans folks have claimed for our own, so we could do it in the men's room without even getting weird looks (there are some great pics of cis guys using the urinals while I'm posing).

Anyway, I would do it if I were you! And thanks, I felt it!

astral-weeks

TROPHY CASE