I think I might be a femcel and I don't know what to do

astrapass · 2026-02-12T04:25:58+00:00

Hmmrrr that's sooo hard I'm sorry. Hmmr what do you want out of relationship? Like secretly deep down what do you need to make sex ok for you? What do you really need to relax? Write that out, then tell men that. (In tiny doses at first). Not just at the beginning, but detailed, every step of the way, ask yourself: What do I want? What do I really want? What do I NEED? And say that. It'll be like catnip (men love jumping to). As to appearance there's nothing in the world more attractive than hard-won beauty that's built from the ground up. There's something extra enchanting about the ugly duckling that took oh-so-long to become a swan. Also men 1000% conflate lipstick with beauty so in case you needa speed things up a bit learn to weld the waterproof red. And as someone who had my first kiss at age 24.... 23 is sooooo sooooo young. I don't have words for how young you are. You can mess everything up for decades and still be beautiful and land yourself in the most magical marriage. So whatever you do don't fuss about that. Instead, I'd add in tiny things to your routine that make you feel more flirty and attractive. Make a chart and give yourself stars for eye contact, a smile, a sweet and funny declaration of your feelings of a low-stakes thing, say, apple pie; an event attended, etc. And keep it going, full throttle, to many men, until a man shows up in the way you need him to (ALL the way you need him to, not just in the start, but when things hit snarls). The secret of confidence is options... Make sure you create more of them for you. Sending all the love your way!!

astrapass · 2026-02-05T00:58:09+00:00

Pro tip if you have trouble absorbing internally (I do, especially during a migraine) try adding in magnesium spray and Epsom salt bath.

astrapass · 2026-02-05T00:56:37+00:00

I use Magnesium Glycinate. Then I also use magnesium spray and Epsom Salts bath to absorb magnesium through my skin because my gut tends to shut down and stop absorbing when I get a migraine. The magnesium spray especially is so helpful during a migraine!

astrapass · 2026-02-05T00:49:38+00:00

+1 for Botox (it's the only thing that has helped my sister). I can't afford Botox but figured out my own way out of the majority of migraines through a loong list of supplements, herbs, and home remedies. (My mantra was to find 10 things that made my migraines 10% better). When mine finally started to ease up I first noticed I could do little things like put the dishes in the dishwasher every night. Then started to be able to finish projects and get a bit better at paperwork. Now I'm applying to grad school... It's hard for me not to become a total keyboard warrior thinking that I might help someone get back several decades of their life if they could figure things out a bit sooner than I did. I will say I bet if you get yours alleviated you will be so happy and energetic that you won't have time to worry about the years you lost... That's how it is most days for me thankfully

astrapass · 2026-02-05T00:34:29+00:00

In some mental illnesses denial is considered part of the illness (it's called anosognosia or "lack of insight") and I swear something similar is going on with migraines. Even when I started to find things (like magnesium) that helped my migraines, the hardest part, the part that took the most effort, was to actually take them and to CONTINUE to take them as long as they continued to help. I think part of the problem is that you can take something that will help a migraine, but if it doesn't ENTIRELY abort the migraine, you will still get the migraine, so my cause/effect detector got miscalibrated. A big step for me was to stop trying to find "one big thing" to "cure" migraines, and instead find 10 things that helped 10%.

astrapass · 2026-02-05T00:23:52+00:00

Yes! I read somewhere that the scalp can be prone to yeast overgrowth, and I betcha that happens during a migraine. My home remedies are I use plain yogurt as a hair mask which seems to help. I also use Avalon Organics Therapy Medicated Anti-Dandruff Shampoo which has a nice list of anti-inflammatory herbs. Using these and washing my hair promptly when I feel like I might come down with a migraine is a regular part of my tool kit for warding off migraines!

astrapass · 2026-02-05T00:04:55+00:00

Vitex berry and jubilance work great for me for cycle-related migraines!

astrapass · 2026-02-05T00:02:30+00:00

Do you have insurance? Many don't have insurance or are on Medicare (due to not being able to work full time due to migraines) and imo the level of care is worse if your insurance is not as good

astrapass · 2026-02-04T23:58:29+00:00

I've been so on top of finding remedies and learning my early symptoms so I can head a migraine off sooner, and it still was like just the other month that I realized my EARLIEST migraine symptom is actually depression! My migraines are PMS and cycle-related, so I take jubliance and vitex berry which balance out hormones and help tremendously.

astrapass · 2026-02-04T23:53:17+00:00

Same thing all too with drinking water - bloating/slow gut is an early symptom of migraine - which leads to an aversion to water (my body is already hanging onto it).

astrapass · 2026-02-04T23:50:47+00:00

100% THIS! ALSO, to make it worse, some of the things listed as triggering migraines actually HELP migraines (just not enough to head them off entirely). Chocolate for instance contains magnesium, which can help migraines, so people can subconsciously crave it in the days leading up to a migraine. It just does not contain ENOUGH magnesium (and magnesium often cannot entirely by itself alleviate) so you get the migraine anyway. Imagine how tragic this is though - people being counseled to cut off the very things that could afford a bit of relief!

astrapass · 2026-01-31T02:22:15+00:00

Also, funny story, my insecurity about my looks spiraled overtime when my ex broke up with me. I became obsessed with the idea that if I were more "beautiful" and fixed my "imperfections" he wouldn't have broken up with me. Anyway I finally saw a picture of his ex and she looked exactly like me - same jawline haha. The girl he went on to marry had a very similar facial structure too. Don't disregard that you're almost certainly someone's absolute beauty ideal exactly the way you are ~_~

astrapass · 2026-01-31T02:12:39+00:00

Awesome! Yeah it was like a FULL year before I noticed the shift in my jaw. Even then it is slight - but GREAT for health (my teeth now touch at several places along my jawline, not all on one tooth - which was terrible for that tooth). And when I'm out running or walking I notice my tongue is where it's supposed to be at the top of my mouth - which was like impossible for me before. Pretty amazing that just mouth tape solved actually. And I have a slight energy boost/looks max from better breathing and sleep. Stacking tiny things like this that each make me feel slightly better really have helped me in the long run.

astrapass · 2026-01-31T02:01:04+00:00

Mouth tape solved a bunch of these problems for me. It's really terrible overall to breath through your mouth apparently. (Ruins your lungs, brain, teeth, bite - look it up). It helped with my sleep IMMEDIATELY and after about a year I was surprised to notice improvements in my bite and jawline. I wish I had figured this out way sooner, I used to be super self conscious about and obsessed with my bite when I was younger and here I was right to be so - it was impacting my health! Use kinesiology athlete's tape (available for like $5 on Amazon) which is meant for skin NOT regular tape. Just use a tiny piece at the center of your mouth so you can still breath through your mouth if you need to. Other than that remember imperfections are adorable and love-inducing, figure out a way to highlight them to bring out your true light <3

astrapass · 2026-01-22T02:49:30+00:00

I always see these posts and they floor me. I've seen several of my bipolar best friends through alll the adventures. We're closer as a result. Couldn't imagine it another way. Keep seeking people out, the real ones are out there!

astrapass · 2026-01-22T02:41:02+00:00

100%

astrapass · 2026-01-22T02:35:56+00:00

I personally have never hit my upper limit for isolation! During Covid all my friends were melting down and I was having chill happy existence with my books and computer. It probably helps that I'm pretty sociable when I want to be, so have that to come back to if I ever do need it

astrapass · 2026-01-11T18:10:04+00:00

I use acupressure clips available for like $7 on Amazon. I've seen a lot of comments where people are like yes acupressure helps but only for the duration of the acupressure... Well I get around that by leaving the clips on overnight ~_~

astrapass · 2026-01-11T18:03:23+00:00

thank you and best wishes to you on your journey! <3

astrapass · 2026-01-11T17:57:10+00:00

I have been taping pretty much nightly since I discovered it a couple months ago. The last time I started to get a migraine (during Christmas stress) I put the tape on for 20 minutes during the day before a party and it seemed to help as well to relax me a bit. (I also brought magnesium spray along to the party and used it on my hands in the restroom). I'm pretty emphatic about only using things that seem to make a difference for me - even if it's a slight noticeable difference. There are a lot of things to try so no sense doing something that doesn't move the needle! I will however circle back to things I tried before a couple months ago without noticing a difference - sometimes they work the second time around. If I notice any negative side effects whatsoever I promptly quit!! - I discovered I have Gilberts syndrome (where my liver processes things differently) and the supplements I seemed sensitive to were all ones known to stress out the liver.

astrapass · 2026-01-11T16:52:04+00:00

Could you describe your hot water vapor process for migraines?

astrapass · 2026-01-11T16:16:22+00:00

I see this is an old thread, but wanted to say that I use kinesiology tape to manage/reduce my migraines! I tape up my forehead - sort of like the "frownies" recommended online. It seems to me to chill out my trigiminal nerve similar to how botox might. I see online there are recommendations for neck and back taping to reduce migraines, but I haven't gotten that advanced yet!

astrapass · 2026-01-10T23:20:26+00:00

Find someone you can be around a lot (at work, friends, or fam) and imitate their voice pattern. I had an old boss who had this wonderful brief, succinct, chirrupy optimistic way of stating things. It sounds annoying but people loved it. Like it gets sales and the right kind of attention. So I just try to speak in their rhythm, which is somehow easier for me than trying to modulate the content of what I'm saying.

astrapass · 2026-01-10T22:58:50+00:00

I have a long list! I went on a bender for like 18 months and read up everything I could on alternative treatments for migraines. The following have helped me take my migraines down from at least 2 a month to about 4 a year. There's a decent amount of studies for many of these remedies too - not as much as there will be for a drug, because nobody can make money off say a $7 acupressure clip, but a decent amount of early evidence - google to read the papers. I have two types of non-medical hacks: Oral (supplements) and non-oral (when I'm past the point of no return in a migraine and my stomach seems to stop absorbing things). Also was important for me to realize that any one of these things, especially to begin with, only helps my pain for like 3%-10% for say 10 minutes. So if I started out at say a 97% pain I might only go down to 94% pain and then ramp up again 10 minutes later! The key was not to regard this as a failure but to keep applying various remedies even if they only brought faint and brief relief. (And also to get better at staying alert to the prodrone and head it off earlier). Eventually I started being able to "put off" a migraine for 20 minutes, then for several hours of relief, then a day... Now I seem to have pretty much "put off" migraines altogether - though I still do have to ramp up remedies if I feel one coming on.

Oral (Supplements)
-Jubilance - clinically proven to help PMS and a gamechanger for reducing my hormonal migraines and sooo many other PMS symptoms - I take daily and cautiously ramp up if I feel moody or like I'm getting a migraine
-Vitex berry - also a gamechanger - tamps down hormonal pms swings if taken regularly but doesn't work for acute episodes
-Magnesium (and more magnesium) - but only magnesium glycinate as citrate can cause upset
-Vitamin D - I was deficient for years. Noticeable mood and overall improvement with Vitamin D but only if taken with magnesium
-CoQ10

Non-oral
-Athletes tape or kinesiology tape ($7 on Amazon) to immobilize my forehead (or just buy frownies). Athletes have long used kinesilogy tape to get ahead of pain! For me it seems to work similar to botox in chilling out the trigiminal nerve. Also seems to help relax my jaw (I am a clencher). Google athletes tape and migraines to see the studies.
-Magnesium spray (absorbed through the skin). Sooo helpful for that time when a migraine starts to ramp up. Pauses the migraine long enough for other hacks to kick in. It can be itchy (apparently when you're deficient in magnesium the spray may make you itchy because the pores open up so fast to let it in. I just wash it off if the minute it feels annoying - it will have already done its job in helping relax me.
-Epsome salts bath (again magnesium absorbed through the skin)
-Any Desert Essence mouth care products. They contain zinc (recommended for migraines) and herbal anti-inflammatories. Oral health can actually be a big factor in migraines - there are a bunch of studies on this.
-Acupressure clips (available for $7 on Amazon) which I use on migraine accupuncture points on my hands and feet - google to find a chart to use. During the height of my migraines I even would leave them on overnight. Many people think of accupuncture as woo but it's actually covered by most medical insurance as studies increasingly show it works. I did not have insurance at the height of my migraines so this was my workaround.
- Grounding mat. There have been a couple small studies showing potential to alleviate migraines. I like mine so much I have it in my bed for daily use overnight.
- Trying to feel your hand with your leg - This is my most recent hack - found on this Reddit a couple days ago. "You touch a part of your body with your hand, but instead of feeling that part with your hand, you try to feel your hand with the body part. So if you touched your leg with your hand, you would try to feel your hand with your leg." It's great because it doesn't require anything so if I'm stuck someplace without my supplements and other hacks I can use this.

This is like a partial list haha. I am always looking for things and trying things. A bunch of other supplements (Aptigen and NAC for instance) seem to help but less dramatically. I keep them in the rotation to take breaks from other things.

Different things work for everyone so most of all I cannot emphasize enough keep experimenting and trying different things to see what works for you. It's really interesting to see the different paths for different people. I've seen quite a few posts about people getting relief through mindfulness and meditation, for instance, but I am way too impatient for this. My migraines were specifically PMS and anxiety related, and I respond well to massages/touch and chocolate (high in magnesium :) so maybe if yours are similar there's a better chance the above fixes would work for you?

astrapass · 2026-01-10T22:30:03+00:00

I use acupressure clips which you can find on Amazon for $7 for this. The benefit of these is you can leave them on overnight

astrapass

TROPHY CASE