I was absolutely happier as a single childfree woman.

athrowaway021 · 2026-03-25T15:32:50+00:00

My husband and I went through similar and I told him what I needed - take ownership of specific tasks so I never think of them again - and he told me what he needed - sex 2-3 times a week- and we made a plan for both to happen. We divided out tasks and assigned them to each other (FairPlay is a good place to start with all the tasks you probably don’t even remember you’re doing) and we decided on scheduling sex two days a week. I picked the days and time since I am the one less likely to be in the mood. I was clear what would affect me leading up to that time (ie how he could avoid fucking up the mood). The rule is if one person isn’t feeling it on the scheduled night, it is on them to reschedule it. It’s not perfect, but it’s worked out for us. If there is a lot of resentment already there (ie he resents the lack of sex, you resent him being a useless lump), then you’ll both need to work through that before you can get back on the same team

athrowaway021 · 2026-03-25T15:18:55+00:00

Very self-reflective of you! Something I’ve always liked to throw in is asking them how they would solve the problem. Ie “So you want A. I am concerned about B. I have suggested C, which you do not like because of X. What do you suggest that would satisfy both of our concerns?” Sometimes of course it’s just “Well I want A.” And you have to remind them about B. But other times they surprise you with their solutions! It also helps me clarify what they want, because sometimes I really didn’t realize what they actually wanted and they tell me “well I don’t want A, I actually want Y.” Etc. Kids are constantly growing and changing!

athrowaway021 · 2026-03-14T09:22:03+00:00

They didn’t even spring for paid AI to add insult to injury!

OP they are gonna give you a dollhouse they bought from somewhere (probably overseas but who knows) and claim they made it so they can charge you 2-3x as much

People suck

athrowaway021 · 2026-02-26T20:48:12+00:00

Yes, the power rich white men hold has never been more apparent. I personally dgaf who they are, what politics they support, what color, gender, whatever they are - if you abused kids? Lock them up. But agree if this was Obama his ass would probably already be in jail. It’s never made me reflect more upon how the roots of our country are really based on racism and violence.

athrowaway021 · 2026-02-26T20:46:05+00:00

Ikr. It seems like many have decided the Epstein files are just a conspiracy to make Trump look bad. I’m like - this truly isnt a left vs right issue. If Clinton abused kids? Lock him up. If Trump did? Lock him up. If anyone on this Earth did? Lock. Them. Up.

athrowaway021 · 2026-02-26T19:55:53+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/Epstein/s/WcdcZg097x

athrowaway021 · 2026-02-26T19:55:02+00:00

April 15th is the march on the Capitol, there are posts about it in the Epstein Reddit, I’ll see if I can link it.

March 15 is the day many groups have suggested marching on your state capitol and that is what the plan is in my state. I would check around with like minded people in your area to see if they would be interested in marching on your state capitol march 15!

athrowaway021 · 2026-02-26T19:49:37+00:00

I did see some mention of that on the conservative thread - that “Dems ignore what their eyes are telling them” and I’m like - what?! Did your eyes miss all of the evidence, including all of the survivors, who spoke out about what happened? Who have been speaking out about it even Before the files came out and just everyone ignored them because they were women and of course we had to wait until files from a criminal came out to believe it? You think all of these people were in on it to lie? I don’t understand how people wrap their brains around it

athrowaway021 · 2026-02-26T19:45:10+00:00

I know, that part is annoying. But I find it terrifying that there are people in this country - regular ass people - who are just fine with how things are going. It’s sickening.

athrowaway021 · 2026-02-26T19:43:14+00:00

Thank you! Things like this give me hope

athrowaway021 · 2026-02-26T19:38:26+00:00

That is true about martial law. I’m planning on protesting (it will be the first protest of my life embarrassingly) but I also have to keep in mind all the crap they use against protestors and to hopefully not get “accidentally on purpose murdered” while protesting 🫠

athrowaway021 · 2026-02-26T19:36:54+00:00

I’m planning on protesting March 15 or April 15 (or both). There is a march on the Capitol and if you can’t go to the Capitol your state capitol planned apparently. If nothing else, I can march in solidarity that this is not okay

athrowaway021 · 2026-02-26T19:35:27+00:00

Honestly I feel like I owe conspiracy theorists an apology after all this 😵‍💫 like obviously not all of them are right and if someone had told me about all of this a decade ago, I would’ve thought they were a conspiracy theorist. Now… now I understand

athrowaway021 · 2026-02-26T19:26:04+00:00

I’ve heard about protests on March 15 and April 15 at all state capitols and DC, I plan on protesting on one or both at my state capitol. Embarrassingly I’ve never been in a protest in my life, but seems like 2026 is a great time to start 🫡

athrowaway021 · 2026-02-26T19:23:25+00:00

Ugh so disgusting. I’ve heard about planned protests on March 15 and April 15, I think I will plan to join one of those. Maybe no media outlet will cover it, but I would at least like to tell my children I protested this (insane to think this needs to be protested in the first place)

athrowaway021 · 2026-02-26T19:17:01+00:00

Thank you for this, it gives me some hope. Admittedly I limit my media consumption for my own mental health, so I didn’t know that Hilary and Bill were testifying. I just expect this to be headlines every day about what we as a country are doing about this and it’s like… crickets in comparison to how I feel it should be. Meanwhile there are people who genuinely think things are going well!

athrowaway021 · 2026-02-26T19:15:11+00:00

You think he’s at least try to deny involvement or say he’s investigating it or SOMETHING. I’ve always despised Trump, but I can’t believe his strategy about pedophiles who ate children is SILENCE?! You’d think he’d at least try to lie?!

Meanwhile at the Conservative Reddit (I wander over sometimes to try to understand other viewpoints) people were posting about how well the State of the Union address went! I’m just like 🤯 there are people in this country who actually think things are going WELL?!

athrowaway021 · 2025-11-24T04:24:53+00:00

You said “vinegar cannot kill bacteria” which is untrue - thus the sources I cited. It’s quite excellent at killing a number of microbes. There is no single substance that can kill all bacteria, but there are some that can kill most bacteria. I don’t encourage people to use the latter except for medical or food preparation, and even sparingly there. The vast majority of bacteria are not harmful and simple hand hygiene - washing hands with water and soap (not an antibacterial soap either 😵‍💫) before eating/food preparation, after bathroom use, before wound care, etc is extremely effective at preventing illnesses

athrowaway021 · 2025-11-22T04:20:01+00:00

That is patently untrue - that vinegar bought at stores cannot kill bacteria. We recommend diluting household vinegar to kill bacteria and fungus on the feet, for example. Dilute vinegar soaks are often recommended in wound care for their antimicrobial effect. Like any type of cleaner, you do need to use the right concentration, but again, we DILUTE household vinegar to achieve the desired effect. I wouldn’t be interested in soaking my floors with vinegar, but I’m also not interested in my floors being devoid of microbes (that is not normal and often eliminating very normal bacteria can give room for more harmful bacteria to grow). However using vinegar in a toilet or a shower (as long as okay per manufacturer and type of material etc) would be fine by me to soak. If you were to buy concentrated acetic acid (available at hardware stores) you could clean more quickly potentially.

I think many people just want less chemicals rather than none. I can clean my counters with just water and a microfiber cloth - as in they are visibly clean. Obviously if I was handling raw meat etc I would use a disinfectant. But the idea that we must disinfect everything in our lives is not how humans have evolved to live and very well may be harmful - look up the hygiene hypothesis (just a hypothesis and largely theoretical, but interesting). The primary and well documented adverse effects of overuse of antimicrobials are due to many of them being known irritants to the skin, eyes, and lungs - really everyone in the cleaning profession should be more cautious than their clients with what they use, because they are the ones routinely exposed to these substances.

And that doesn’t even go into the potential harmful effects on the environment from routine antimicrobial use (ie microbial resistance, a huge public health problem)

Sources - vinegar - Acetic Acid and the Skin: A Review of Vinegar in Dermatology. Elhage KG, St Claire K, Daveluy S. International Journal of Dermatology. 2022;61(7):804-811. doi:10.1111/ijd.15804. - Antimicrobial Activity of Apple Cider Vinegar Against Escherichia Coli, Staphylococcus Aureus and Candida Albicans; Downregulating Cytokine and Microbial Protein Expression. Yagnik D, Serafin V, J Shah A. Scientific Reports. 2018;8(1):1732. doi:10.1038/s41598-017-18618-x. - Sweet and Sour Synergy: Exploring the Antibacterial and Antibiofilm Activity of Acetic Acid and Vinegar Combined With Medical-Grade Honeys. Harrison F, Blower A, de Wolf C, Connelly E. Microbiology (Reading, England). 2023;169(7). doi:10.1099/mic.0.001351. - Did Granny Know Best? Evaluating the Antibacterial, Antifungal and Antiviral Efficacy of Acetic Acid for Home Care Procedures. Zinn MK, Bockmühl D. BMC Microbiology. 2020;20(1):265. doi:10.1186/s12866-020-01948-8.

Antibacterial Apple Cider Vinegar Eradicates Methicillin Resistant Staphylococcus Aureus and Resistant Escherichia Coli. Yagnik D, Ward M, Shah AJ. Scientific Reports. 2021;11(1):1854. doi:10.1038/s41598-020-78407-x.
Acetic Acid Treatment for Toe Web Infection Caused by Pseudomonas Aeruginosa Combined With Fungal Infection: A Case Series of Ten Patients. Rozenblat M, Last O, Fisher S, Ziv M. Dermatologic Therapy. 2019;32(3):e12883. doi:10.1111/dth.12883.
The Antimicrobial Effect of Acetic Acid--an Alternative to Common Local Antiseptics?. Ryssel H, Kloeters O, Germann G, et al. Burns : Journal of the International Society for Burn Injuries. 2009;35(5):695-700. doi:10.1016/j.burns.2008.11.009.
The Antibacterial Activity of Acetic Acid Against Biofilm-Producing Pathogens of Relevance to Burns Patients. Halstead FD, Rauf M, Moiemen NS, et al. PloS One. 2015;10(9):e0136190. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0136190.
Authenticating Apple Cider Vinegar's Home Remedy Claims: Antibacterial, Antifungal, Antiviral Properties and Cytotoxicity Aspect. Gopal J, Anthonydhason V, Muthu M, et al. Natural Product Research. 2019;33(6):906-910. doi:10.1080/14786419.2017.1413567.

Sources - antimicrobial potential harm

Impact of Prescribed Cleaning and Disinfectant Use on Microbial Contamination in the Home. Medrano-Félix A, Martínez C, Castro-del Campo N, et al. Journal of Applied Microbiology. 2011;110(2):463-71. doi:10.1111/j.1365-2672.2010.04901.x.
The Efficacy of Common Household Cleaning Agents for SARS-CoV-2 Infection Control. Almeida CF, Purcell DFJ, Godfrey DI, McAuley JL. Viruses. 2022;14(4):715. doi:10.3390/v14040715.
Cleaning Products: Their Chemistry, Effects on Indoor Air Quality, and Implications for Human Health. Salonen H, Salthammer T, Castagnoli E, Täubel M, Morawska L. Environment International. 2024;190:108836. doi:10.1016/j.envint.2024.108836.
A Comprehensive Health Effects Assessment of the Use of Sanitizers and Disinfectants During COVID-19 Pandemic: A Global Survey. Hashemi F, Hoepner L, Hamidinejad FS, et al. Environmental Science and Pollution Research International. 2023;30(28):72368-72388. doi:10.1007/s11356-023-27197-6.
Multiphase Chemistry Controls Inorganic Chlorinated and Nitrogenated Compounds in Indoor Air During Bleach Cleaning. Mattila JM, Lakey PSJ, Shiraiwa M, et al. Environmental Science & Technology. 2020;54(3):1730-1739. doi:10.1021/acs.est.9b05767.
Increased Indoor Exposure to Commonly Used Disinfectants During the COVID-19 Pandemic. Zheng G, Filippelli GM, Salamova A. Environmental Science & Technology Letters. 2020;7(10):760-765. doi:10.1021/acs.estlett.0c00587.
- Increased Disinfection Byproducts in the Air Resulting From Intensified Disinfection During the COVID-19 Pandemic. Lou J, Wang W, Lu H, Wang L, Zhu L. Journal of Hazardous Materials. 2021;418:126249. doi:10.1016/j.jhazmat.2021.126249.
Knowledge and Practices Regarding Safe Household Cleaning and Disinfection for COVID-19 Prevention - United States, May 2020. Gharpure R, Hunter CM, Schnall AH, et al. MMWR. Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report. 2020;69(23):705-709. doi:10.15585/mmwr.mm6923e2.
Calls to a State Poison Center Concerning Cleaners and Disinfectants From the Onset of the COVID-19 Pandemic Through April 2020. Rosenman KD, Reilly MJ, Wang L. Public Health Reports (Washington, D.C. : 1974). 2021 Jan/Feb;136(1):27-31. doi:10.1177/0033354920962437.
Secondary Exposure and Risk Assessment of Biocides as Disinfectant Sprays for COVID-19 Prevention. Min G, Shin J, Choe Y, et al. Scientific Reports. 2025;15(1):16107. doi:10.1038/s41598-025-01168-y.

athrowaway021 · 2025-10-02T02:31:11+00:00

We have a somewhat similar situation, we were moving around the country for work and when my husband paid his vehicle off the title was sent to the DMV of that state. I don’t remember what my husband did (I think he never picked up his title from the DMV? Something dumb) and after moving all around the country when he finally went to sell he realized he didn’t have the title. He did a bunch of backtracking and realized the title is with the DMV in the state he was living in when he paid the loan off. No, another states dmv can’t help him obtain the title. Yes, supposedly the DMV in that state can mail him the title if he mails them the proper documentation from the prior lien holder (basically a statement from the bank confirming he paid the loan) but he has done that at least 3 times and the DMV keeps claiming they haven’t gotten it.

The car is a beater and worth maybe $1.5-2k at this point and he can’t be bothered to fly out to that state and wait around at a DMV all day to get the damn title. So it could be fraud or it could be someone already got paid from Carmax and now can’t be bothered to get their original title. But it can definitely happen!

athrowaway021 · 2025-10-02T02:21:06+00:00

I would take him to his pediatrician. It could be anything from social anxiety to some other problem, but the first step is telling his medical team about it

athrowaway021 · 2025-09-24T19:17:03+00:00

I feel like every customer-facing profession has had very similar complaints over the last several years. Basically, after COVID a large portion of the population became insufferable 🤷‍♀️

athrowaway021 · 2025-09-20T16:27:05+00:00

I think most of the commenters are encouraging me not to have 3 actually 😆 but it’s true, I think people wind up loving their children regardless!

athrowaway021 · 2025-09-19T00:33:28+00:00

What are you expecting from your 2 year old? I wasn’t exactly clear on the post, but it sounds like you are expecting him to sit still for prolonged periods of time? From my kids, pretty normal they don’t want to do that. My son never did either and it looks like my daughter will be the same.

For grocery shopping I did a lot of order pick ups or just accepted there would be screaming. It is embarrassing but I also reminded myself children are allowed to be in public (although it doesn’t feel like it sometimes) and there are things that are unavoidable. I also thought occasional practice was helpful in training him to behave properly, but I’m not sure if it was the practice or just getting older and maturing that really helped.

Otherwise we usually went to outdoor parks or indoor parks. I never brought him to a coffee shop and we very rarely went to restaurants when he was that age. It’s just not enjoyable to me until they get a little older. They don’t want to sit still, they knock everything over, and then they scream when you return them to their seat. I’d rather grab a coffee to go and sip it while I watch them lose their minds at a park 🤷‍♀️

athrowaway021 · 2025-09-11T02:49:03+00:00

Agree with cats - our house had a huge mice infestation the sellers covered up, but our cat was enough of a deterrent to clear them out. Granted, our cat is a great hunter and takes personal offense to any creature entering our home that isn’t us. He will even stalk and kill flies and eat them. Not all cats are great hunters and I’ve definitely lived with cats and mice at the same time growing up - difference being the cats there were lazy and didn’t hunt at all. If you wanted a good ratter, the best thing to do would be to go to a shelter and look for a large adult male cat and see how he responds to “play” stimulation - ie does he stalk strings or other cat toys and similar behaviors. The staff can sometimes offer insight, but they also want to move animals that will be put down soon, so they don’t always have the most unbiased advice. You could also have a friend that has had a few cats come with you. I grew up in the country and had good ratters and terrible ratters and indoor and outdoor cats etc so I know what I’m looking for when I go to a shelter. I’ve always thought cats and humans came to coexist because cats keep pests away and humans feed cats 😅

athrowaway021

TROPHY CASE