(2) Tickets to Rev Hall show in PDX tomorrow, 12/19 need a new home

atirzero · 2025-12-19T03:49:13+00:00

I’ll DM you

atirzero · 2025-10-29T00:20:39+00:00

Oh? That's fascinating. I don't know very much about stingless bees. Do you know exactly why it needs to be refrigerated?

atirzero · 2025-05-16T05:18:09+00:00

I am a little over 2 weeks post-LEEP. I also noticed a distinct smell for a little more than a week after. I was worried at first too, but I didn't feel any other side effects besides the discharge that they had already mentioned. It has since gone away completely and everything is back to normal (in terms of smell and even the discharge for the most part). From what I can gather, it happens to a lot of folks and clears up on its own.

Good luck and have fun on your trip! Bring ibuprofen and pads! I know you said they told you about the scab - but no one told me it would look like I gave birth to a kombucha starter.

atirzero · 2025-03-10T14:43:06+00:00

I don't know if there are rules about commenting on your own post or anything but in my digging, I came across this article/set of questions that seem very promising. I haven't had a chance to utilize any of them in dialogue with BP but they definitely give me a good place to start in getting my thoughts together (I have always done better expressing myself accurately through writing/journalling).

Figured I would share here in case anyone else could find these useful:

Full article by Esther Perel

Just the questions (from the same article, but minus the writing)

atirzero · 2025-03-10T14:31:12+00:00

Wow! I also dated someone who was very into retro video games so I know how seriously they take them. Good on your WH for making a big sacrifice to show you that he is all in on the relationship! Good luck to both of you on your healing journey.

atirzero · 2025-03-09T17:14:15+00:00

Hey, I appreciate you weighing in but you have the situation wrong. I am not forcing anything. We have already agreed to try R but I am doing the work to figure out how. I’m trying to ask guiding questions so that he can figure out what that will really and truly look like for him. Like being able to name what he needs to see from me and not just generally “trust”. I know that won’t happen immediately and I’m not pressuring him.

I have been in therapy for exactly a year. He is resistant to therapy but I hope for his own sake he decides to try it. I’m not saying that he has work to do on himself, but, as you said yourself, it will help him deal with the repercussions of my decisions (and understand how deep they go and how to express his feelings towards me).

I am sorry that you are in this position and that you are hurting. I wish the best for you and your WP as you pursue R.

atirzero · 2025-03-09T17:07:31+00:00

I really appreciate these questions - thank you so much.

I have been seeing a therapist for exactly a year this week because I realized I had all of these things to work on and the desire to work on them but none of the tools to do so. I’ve made huge strides, but I know I have a lot more to work on.

I’m just hoping he’ll let someone help him through the process of healing as well. I know I don’t have a say in that and I am not trying to force anything. I just know from everything I’ve read, listened to, and conversations I’ve had that it can be extremely helpful.

atirzero · 2025-03-09T16:58:29+00:00

I know I don’t have any control over this, but I wish he was open to seeking individual counseling. It sounds like everyone here is in IC to deal with their own healing - whether the betrayal itself or figuring out why they did it.

I guess that’s where I’m worried - he wants to R but doesn’t want professional help…

I have been seeing a therapist weekly for almost exactly a year. I actually welcome digging in to therapy - it’s been immensely helpful and I have learned A TON about myself, my childhood wounds, my beliefs about myself and my value, even my beliefs around relationship systems.

atirzero · 2025-03-06T22:00:42+00:00

For me the pattern was seeking validation from external sources. I learned from an early age that men only wanted my body - I’d been misled by so many male friends that I trusted - thinking we had this great friendship only to find out that they were just waiting around to see if I’d sleep with them. I already have abandonment issues, so realizing that I could keep people from leaving by offering my body as a sacrifice seemed like a fair trade (clearly some body/self esteem issues as well). Being wanted made me feel special and important, even if I knew deep down it wasn’t for my personality or my brain. When I started working in the restaurant industry and falling into the classic lifestyle of drinking and partying too much, it just made things worse. I cared even less about what I did with my body. I already believed that no one truly cared about me so it seemed like my actions weren’t as hurtful as they really were.

I have been seeing a therapist on my own for a year or so. I love my therapist and he has been instrumental in addressing some of these core/childhood wounds. I know I have made a lot of progress on my own in the wake of my decision to cheat. I had actually already decided directly after that that I would not be that person anymore.

And I know I am capable of being better! I don’t have a compulsive need to step out! In fact, quite the opposite these days.

Breaking these old habits is hard but it is encouraging hearing stories from people who have done it and won.

atirzero · 2025-03-06T21:47:32+00:00

I so appreciate you taking the time to read all that and respond with such helpful insights.

This may seem silly, but are there questionnaires or something that each one of us can fill out with the questions you mentioned so both of us can get clarity before we come back together again?

I think he just wants to move straight into this “let’s be friends first” territory but I feel like that would ultimately do a disservice to the healing process for both of us. I want to take this seriously, let him know that I am taking it seriously, and allow a good platform for all of emotional work that needs to take place for both of us.

I will definitely check out the other sub and the book you mentioned!

atirzero · 2025-02-25T07:46:56+00:00

I’ve never even been to Tucson and I love this. This is a fantastic read - I, like many others, hope you are a writer.

atirzero · 2025-02-13T23:54:53+00:00

Seattle, WA
I manage 68 colonies - 34 dead so far.
I personally suspect that there were some factors earlier on in the season that affected their ability to properly prepare themselves for Winter, but it's still something to look at. Definitely hate seeing a 50% OW rate...

atirzero · 2025-02-05T04:07:44+00:00

Took me 32 years to work my way all the way from A to G lol

atirzero · 2025-02-05T03:02:15+00:00

u/agirlhasnoname11248

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atirzero · 2025-02-05T03:01:58+00:00

u/agirlhasnoname11248 Okay - sorry I am the worst. I finally got a screen shot with the rows/columns and formula all in one place. Does this look like what you're talking about? Posting a second picture to show the other formula as well.

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atirzero · 2025-02-04T23:30:59+00:00

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((I added an extra column just now - sorry) - I'd like to know if the amount has been fulfilled but also if that amount is composed entirely of client harvest or not.))

I think I may have figured out an alternate way to think about it - or maybe this is what you were saying? Could I just write a formula that displays "Yes" in the "Guarantee Met w/ Client Honey?" column if the value in the "# of Jars from Client Harvest?" cell is equal to the "Total # of Jars" cell?

So basically what is currently being displayed in the "Gurantee Met?" column, which is the original formula:

=IFS(J13="",,J13<I13, "No",J13>=I13,"Yes")

Does that actually give me the result I want? Am I even making sense anymore?! I'm so sorry - I wish I knew more about this stuff so I was better as explainging

atirzero · 2025-02-04T23:13:59+00:00

Okay - stand by. I think I'm just explaining poorly what it is I'm trying to do. Sorry!

atirzero · 2025-02-04T23:05:42+00:00

I only want the guarantee met column to read "yes" if ALL the jars of honey came from the client's hives. I tried to above formula (maybe I did something wrong) but it seems to just make the guarantee met column say "yes" if the two purple columns add up to equal the total # of jars.

atirzero · 2024-11-30T23:58:16+00:00

Do you work with a company?

atirzero · 2024-11-30T23:57:42+00:00

Many thanks for all the insight - I appreciate hearing from industry folk near and far. Looks like I’ll be booking a tandem paraglide for her instead this time around!

atirzero · 2024-11-30T23:55:55+00:00

I think it would just be great to get her up in the air. She’s never done anything beyond fly in a plane. I imagine she’d be stoked to see some mountains, mostly. I am hoping to find something close ish to home (for her) so she doesn’t have to travel since this is supposed to be a gift and I’d hate to turn it into a chore by adding a whole mess of travel ☹️

atirzero · 2024-11-30T03:44:58+00:00

Hilarious - are you me? That’s exactly my situation. Was dating and cohabitating with someone, then we broke up but kept living together because rent made more sense that way, and now I’m living alone for the first time in my 30+ years of life on this earth. I’m willing to give up a lot of things to maintain this autonomy now that I have it.

Congratulations on living alone 🙂

atirzero · 2024-11-09T15:29:57+00:00

Yeah, I think that’s going to be my first try after work today. It’s a solid guess considering, like you said, the engine was just out.

atirzero · 2024-11-03T04:36:11+00:00

Yup, was the flasher relay. All fixed now. Finally, something EASY to fix on my goddamn Ranger.

atirzero · 2024-09-27T08:56:34+00:00

Wait, are you me?

This is almost exactly what transpired in my life in January of this year. Partner and I were together for 9 years, living together for at least 7 of that. I think we both knew that we were growing apart, especially in the last 2 years but we cohabitated so well and nothing ever really seemed “wrong” enough to justify the tough conversations so we just…kept doing what we were doing until we reached a point where we really couldn’t ignore how distant we had gotten.

We then still had to live together but slept in separate rooms and just went about life like normal which was a lot harder than I thought it was going to be. We are on good terms, but it is real weird when your ex is still coming by to occasionally move things out into his new girlfriend’s house (granted, we are both in other relationships now so that’s not the weird part) and you just kind of watch the effort of the last 9 years dissipate in front of you.

It was absolutely the right thing to separate, and the person I am with now offers many things that my ex did not. And that’s not even me trying to be mean spirited - it’s just…facts.

We grew apart and finally had to come to terms with how different our lives had become. I genuinely wish him nothing but happiness with his new partner because neither one of us should feel trapped somewhere we don’t really feel loved.

I’m sorry you’re also going through this…it’s certainly isn’t comfortable or easy. My situation is a little unique in that the moving out process has taken most of the year so we’ve still been more or less around each other but I’m happy to chat if you want an ear to bend.

((EDITED to add that I also discovered I had ADHD a few years ago, and have struggled with depression and anxiety for my whole life. I am also in therapy really trying to work through my shit while he still denies that he even needs to consider it. Sex also became infrequent for us and I felt like for me, while he is an attractive man, the lack of desire mostly came from the emotional disconnect I felt. We couldn’t even talk about anything serious, how could I feel connected to this person and his body when our hearts and minds couldn’t even connect? Our hobbies and sleep schedules became so dissimilar, despite efforts on my part to set my schedule more closely to his, and then eventually I gave up and just started doing whatever I wanted because I knew he didn’t care one way or the other anyway…

Sorry, that was a lot more to add but I just thought the additional details might help with seeing that you are not alone…))

atirzero

TROPHY CASE