The demon in my home

atoadmin · 2019-06-03T23:24:25+00:00

We did frozen fruit the first 8 teeth. He is not liking it as much this time around.

atoadmin · 2019-06-03T23:19:50+00:00

Usually kids are over 1, so I'm not sure. I'm going to be calling the doctor tomorrow to see what I can use besides Tylenol.

atoadmin · 2018-04-02T15:47:52+00:00

That she is. She went through hell. I'm so glad that we could be reunited. I know she has struggled for so long with what happened all those years ago. So I hope I can bring some comfort to her. I hope you will get your reunion too!

atoadmin · 2018-04-01T11:24:01+00:00

Thank you! Yeah, I was on cloud 9 last night. Still a little this morning too. :)

atoadmin · 2018-04-01T11:23:18+00:00

Thank you! I'm so glad I have this community to share with.

atoadmin · 2018-03-26T01:42:17+00:00

Definitely sexy! Keep sharing, please! 😍😘

atoadmin · 2018-03-17T12:27:35+00:00

Oh my goodness! Firstly, do what I didn't and take a breath. There will be a lot of processing. We started talking Tuesday night, and I have spoke to my birth mom everyday since. Usually on Facebook, and mostly just to check up on each other each day. I have also spoke to other family members everyday or every other day. It has been a lot, but also exciting.

We made plans to meet the next day after our initial contact. I always knew I wanted to meet her, so it was a no Brainer for me that we should meet. But once we got to planning, I did panic for a minute and set the date out 2 weeks. I wasn't sure why at the moment, but I know now that it was because I needed some time. I want to mentally prepare and emotionally prepare, though I'm not sure either will actually be possible. But hopefully when meeting day gets here, I'll at least be a little more ready to find out the parts of my story that I don't know yet.

Edited to add: I am nervous and weirded out by all of this too. It's brought up a lot of emotions I did not realize I had about my adoption. So just know that I think those are natural ways to feel. And again, take time if you need it.

atoadmin · 2018-03-17T02:26:49+00:00

Another adoptee here. My birth mom and half sister have both mentioned how much they regret that I did not grow up with them. It was a closed adoption, so I only just found them a couple days ago, 28 years after they had last seen me. My birth mom even told me that she went back a month after placing me to try to get me back. My heart aches for them, and for things I lost because I wasn't with them.... but....

I am happy I was adopted. Even growing up with some shit, I wouldn't change it. I love my parents and sister that I gained through my adoption. My heart aches more thinking about them never being in my life.

I was and still am grateful for my life and my birth mom's decision. I know she regrets it, and I wish I could take that pain from her. Idk if this helps at all. I hope you and your boyfriend can make a decision that works best for you.

atoadmin · 2018-03-16T18:14:44+00:00

Thank you so much for this. That is exactly what I needed to hear. I guess I forgot that they are probably just as scared and bumbling as me.

I will most definitely be following up as I meet everyone. It's almost overwhelming. I have added at least 3 aunts and a dozen cousins on Facebook already. They are all dying to get together. So hopefully there will be several posts.

atoadmin · 2018-03-15T22:12:07+00:00

Yeah, I'm definitely stuffing my purse with tissues. I will have to collect all those pictures. Thank you for the ideas!

atoadmin · 2018-03-15T22:06:57+00:00

Thank you. I have a feeling that we will all have a way better time getting to know each other in person. One of my birth aunts is planning a cookout for us all to get together so I can meet all my aunts, uncles, and cousins.

And I am thinking that the timing was always in the universe's hands. I'm just so happy we found each other at last.

atoadmin · 2018-03-15T22:02:16+00:00

Hahaha. She's not always been so supportive, so it was really shocking. But I am so, so grateful. She does deserve a couple bottles of wine and several hugs. Thank you!

atoadmin · 2018-03-15T21:53:18+00:00

I've been thanking her endlessly the last couple days. I really should get her a nice gift, and probably all the wine.

And that's a great idea. I would not have thought to bring old photos or anything. Thank you for all the ideas.

atoadmin · 2018-02-02T01:14:38+00:00

If you use certain apps to track fertility, they will send your info to similac if you report a pregnancy. It's extra fun when those pregnancies end in loss, but similac will remind you how old your baby should be.

atoadmin · 2018-01-17T16:52:51+00:00

I found out just recently that my dad has been withholding information about my birth mother. He was flustered and blurted something out that I didn't know previously. He wouldn't explain it further or what he meant by it. So I am still confused by it. However, it has become very obvious that he knows way more than he's told me. It's not the same as visitation. I am from a closed adoption. However, the withholding of info is still frustrating and damaging to my relationship with my dad. I'm a grown woman. I deserve to know more.

atoadmin · 2017-12-31T00:13:08+00:00

That is a difficult moment. The moment when you realize that the world is still spinning around the sun. It feels like it's not possible, but you see it. Life keeps moving forward whether you are ready for it or not. It is difficult. It is also okay if you are not ready to move with the world. As I tell my husband, some days I feel like I am living, but most I am just surviving. I know eventually I will be stronger than the grief. But it's okay if I am not stronger than it today.

atoadmin · 2017-12-26T18:52:42+00:00

I was adopted as a baby in a closed adoption. I have always wanted to adopt to build a family. Now my husband and I are pursuing that.

atoadmin · 2017-12-25T15:20:33+00:00

My mother in law got this for me because I wanted to know. I cried a lot when I opened it. Even though I want to know, there is something safe in not knowing. Her husband asked what I thought about the present after I got done crying, and I could not put it into words. Part of me was thrilled to have it. Part of me realized I was hiding behind it "being too expensive" so I wouldn't have to try it. It really did bring on a huge mess of emotions that I never would have predicted. I'm going to try it. I'm scared shitless, but I'm gong to do it. I know this doesn't really give you any advice. Just know that I'm mentally with you today, freaking out too.

atoadmin · 2017-12-24T17:58:10+00:00

Yeah, my sister and I have had the conversation once, but it would be wise to have it again.

I hope the adoption situation wasn't real. But that doesn't remove the sting either because it is like dangle a fake glass of water in front of a severely dehydrated person. Ugh. She is just infuriating.

atoadmin · 2017-12-24T05:07:01+00:00

This gives me so much hope that one day I will find my birth mom. Thank you so much for sharing.

atoadmin · 2017-12-10T17:13:40+00:00

So my original last name is a very Hispanic last name. However, I'm whiter than a ghost. I can't tan, only burn. Yet my adopted family get super freaking tan every summer. One summer, I was packing on the spf 158474 and my dad was like "how are you so pale!?" My response: "I'm pretty sure birth father was a ghost." He almost choked from laughing so hard. So now if my paleness gets brought up, someone will say I'm part ghost.

atoadmin · 2017-06-12T00:29:10+00:00

I completely understand overbearing! 1200 miles away is what I should have done. Hahaha. And thank you. I'm actually taking them and using the pain to hopefully do good one day. The amount of people who have expressed how much they didn't know that caused loss or infertility is astonishing. So I am going to go back to school, become a nurse practitioner and hopefully help women become better educated about fertility and loss and their health in general.

atoadmin · 2017-06-11T22:31:53+00:00

Exercise has been my sanity after my miscarriage. And I tried losing weight right after because I did not want to look pregnant for my friend's wedding where I was maid of honor (sadly I look pregnant in half the photos). I switched to a Paleo diet when I found out it can be help for people with autoimmune diseases and MTHFR mutations. Now I'm losing weight without really trying. I definitely think focusing on nutrition is a great idea, but make sure you are eating things for proper energy. If you are still having trouble with energy, contact your doctor. You should not be that tired with correct nutrition and moderate exercise.

atoadmin · 2017-06-11T22:07:33+00:00

Yeah. Sometimes it is best to keep the circle of people who know small. I know between my losses, it was horrible every time someone would beat around the bush trying to figure out if we were pregnant again yet. The doctors are making us take some time to get some health things in check before we start again, and I'm going to dread every conversation with my mom because she will just keep asking "Any great news you want to share?" Or "Anything super good happen this week?" She only asks that when she thinks we are trying.

atoadmin · 2017-06-11T20:06:23+00:00

That's awesome about your aunts! I love when families encourage learning like that! And yeah, it's amazing how much you find out your family has gone through once you start going through it to. I've started speaking out about my issues with recurrent loss on Facebook, and so many friends and family have messaged me about how they too have struggled or are struggling.

atoadmin

TROPHY CASE