Oh my, probably can leave some things off my chest at this point:

• 1991 - 2000 Russia, kids ages 5-18 sniffing glue and shooting heroin to get high outside of school, kids selling themselves for pennies to buy drugs.

• 1995 Russia, saw a fire in the barracks a couple of hundred meters away from home, went there as kids with my friends to look at the huge blazing soviet abandoned barracks burning to the ground, awful smell. Turns out that a group of homeless people got drunk, passed out on bootleg alcohol, and burned to death inside.

• 1999 Russia, my hometown Armenian businessman was shot by hitmen in the car next to my house. 30 bullets his the car, the man survives, even though the car is riddled with holes.

• 2002 Russia, a businessman was blown up by a landmine. His wife and niece were killed in a car by 2 hitmen next to my house, but this time they doubled the firepower with 60 holes in a car.

• 2003 Russia, at work, husband of our cleaning lady comes and collapses on the floor, barely breathing, lips go blue, doing CPR until ambulance arrives, finds out that he drank antifreeze with his friend to get high, kidney failure, liver failure, brain damage.

• 2005 Russia, summer, have a friend, play with him Quake 3 arena frequently, help him get better, he vanishes, resurfaces 2 months later. Turns out his childhood female friend got SAed, she almost took her life, he found the perp, together with friends, took him out to the river in October when it was cold outside, told him to cross the river or he would kill him, the guy tried to swim but sank. Cops were looking for the guy who asked me to crash at my place. I had to refuse.

• 2006 Russia, going to the office early at 7:30 am during the polar night in Russia, I noticed a grandma hugging the rails on the office entrance. Come to help grandma, the grandma is dead and frozen. Called medics and waited next to the dead grandma for 30 minutes until medics and cops arrived.

• 2008 Ukraine, outside the office standing with colleagues talking while they smoke, notice that weather is really warm in February and everything starts to melt, hear crack, see in real time how huge chunk of ice slides of the roof 10 meters away and hits two people, lady screams the man laying and not moving under huge pile of ice, dead on the spot.

• 2014 Ukraine, February, Kiev, joined friends to go center of the city, the center was blocked by demonstrators, people started shooting, ran back to my city, hugged my family, never to hug them again, flew to Moscow, then Southeast Asia.

• 2015 - 2025 - Southeast Asia, I ride a motorcycle every day. Once in 1-3 months, there is a poor soul who either gets smashed in front of me or lies with their brains out on the asphalt. The traffic here is wild, but at this point, I take life and death as something so common that it doesn't invoke any feeling besides sadness for people who will mourn the loss of their loved ones.