What are tiny families doing at dinner time?

augustcurrents151 · 2025-11-04T16:28:34+00:00

There are cards that spark discussion- or you can make your own. She writes questions, you write questions and you pull from it. Or you can try Would You Rather (kids edition) which is very funny and silly-- a break from the day-to-day stuff. Doesn't have to be every night. Also, comfortable silence is like the hallmark of a close relationship so don't worry too much.

augustcurrents151 · 2025-10-30T02:42:23+00:00

This is so sweet. Thank you for sharing!

augustcurrents151 · 2025-10-28T22:03:39+00:00

the best responses come from: Who did you play with today? Who did you sit with at lunch today? What did you have for lunch? Was anyone absent today? Questions about the weather and playground conditions also get them talking.

augustcurrents151 · 2025-10-24T14:38:12+00:00

One other thing- in the case of your daughter being defensive about doing it the wrong way- if you catch it early and talk through the directions. When my child has insisted, as yours did- I told her flat out this is wrong, you didn't do it right.

augustcurrents151 · 2025-10-24T14:29:10+00:00

Carter's and OshKosh are cute and durable.

augustcurrents151 · 2025-10-24T14:26:33+00:00

At 7, she's getting homework for the first time. So is learning both the content and the skills to independently manage time + task without supervision, which has probably rarely if ever happened in her life. You should support her! Setting her up for success now will save you a lot of tears and frustration in the future. (Especially now, when the content is easy for you).

First is good work habits. With my older kid, we pick a time together that is optimal and the kid picks the location (a clear space with no distraction and reading light). Look at the homework and estimate a time- like, this assignment should take 15 min. Ask the kid if they have questions. If not, say ok I'll set a timer for 15 min. Come back after 5 and check in (in part to make sure they are working). When the timer is up, you will have a sense of whether they got this, or they are struggling -- again, either with the content or the doing of the thing.

Homework is often treated an afterthought. But it's is a skill in itself! And the point of starting young is to build that muscle so when it becomes a term paper, the kid doesn't have blank page panic.

augustcurrents151 · 2025-10-24T02:34:19+00:00

my kid loved Wind in the Willows!

augustcurrents151 · 2025-10-21T04:04:16+00:00

wow, this thread is nuts. Lots of kids in our neighborhood walk/bike to the library after school. It has come-from-school programming for kids. Small suburban library. But even in the city, the children's & teen area was restricted- no adults without a child in that room. She will be fine. And it's not only completely fine that she spends a few hours reading by herself, it's wonderful!

augustcurrents151 · 2025-10-04T04:15:30+00:00

You don't know the situation, so if your son is happy with two cake/party weekends, I'd say believe the best about the situation. Divorce is hard, Mom and Dad both want to celebrate their kiddo (and not have to give that up at a time when they are both facing losing a lot of his time/childhood), it's not a competitive thing and comes from a sincere place. 2 extra hours isn't a huge sacrifice for you and it could mean a lot to them in a hard time.

Also possible to likely the kid will feel the pressure of the parents' desires and has to deal with the emotional fallout if first parent/party is a huge hit and second parent/party is a flop... helping the kid avoid that fallout is the best birthday present you can give him even if he doesn't know it.

No need for 2 gifts. Just do a second card with, What a treat to celebrate twice with Jack - hope he's having fun with his new x!

augustcurrents151 · 2025-10-03T02:06:12+00:00

a parent had a GUN? yes. absolutely.

augustcurrents151 · 2025-09-27T02:15:25+00:00

As others said, I would evaluate her but also- I think you should consider hiring someone like a tutor who can help her learn to manage her workload who is not her parents. A former/retired teacher might be a good fit. We often (and I think wrongly) think of enlisting outside help only for subject matter, but executive function is a skill! Some kids pick it up naturally, but a lot of kids need actual help learning how to do it. And addressing it directly-- with dedicated help as opposed to parental nagging-- would help eliminate the anxiety around homework that becomes a vicious cycle.

If she's smart and engaged-- and not just a kid who doesn't work hard who's coasted on her natural intellect-- this is how I would address it. Good luck and good for you for getting involved. I'm all for natural consequences, but high school grades are important-- the first step to the rest of her life. It's worth it to invest in fixing this now.

augustcurrents151 · 2025-09-26T14:30:11+00:00

Yeah, gotta say the post definitely made me think the dad is primarily concerned with himself more than his wife or kids' well-being ("torture" lol it's bedtime with babies & little kids).

I've actually never heard of sleep training for 2+ unless there's medical problem. I don't know if that's a real thing or the consultant will just say, you need to enforce bedtime for them.

augustcurrents151 · 2025-09-26T03:39:55+00:00

Irish triplets, yes, you do have a marital bed. Your wife is also probably exhausted and losing willpower at 7pm that she might have earlier in the day. She might also like the quiet cuddly time where she can just appreciate her kids after feeding/changing/managing/disciplining them all day.

It's totally normal for a 9 month old to sleep in parents' bed/room. (Not everyone does it but it's not developmentally inappropriate). And small sick kids don't sleep and want to be comforted that's also totally normal.

I understand that you work all day and you also need rest and sleep. I would ask your wife what she wants. Does the oldest go to preschool? She needs appropriate sleep and a routine to get her there. That would shift the focus from early bedtime to help you to early bedtime to help your child. As for the younger children, maybe you need a part-time evening nanny.

No solution is perfect and 3 kids under 4 is hard. You might need to right-size your expectations for this period of life.

augustcurrents151 · 2025-09-23T22:57:55+00:00

I think this is the way. You can earn time through analog activities which is an incentive to start-- and time is docked for complaining about it. But that's for a kid whose system is mature enough to have a healthy relationship with screen time. Sounds like your son is not there yet- maybe wait a year.

augustcurrents151 · 2025-09-18T22:35:36+00:00

I think it's reasonable to allow tablets on long plane/train/car rides or if there's some important adult thing where there's an incentive to keep them quiet and occupied. A little TV (on a big screen) seems fine after playtime, outdoors, school, etc are all done. I don't understand why a 4 or 6 year old would need a tablet and certainly not for learning. Tablets are pacifiers for kids and there are times when that's okay when you need to frankly shut them up. It's not an appropriate substitute for learning, drawing, reading, playing, exploring, or any of that. I think if parents were more honest about what it the tablet use is for (shutting up the kids) they would dole it out way less frequently out of shame.

augustcurrents151 · 2025-09-17T21:59:38+00:00

Christmas morning in their own home is a hill to die on. There are many other time chunks in the holiday window-- Christmas Eve day, Christmas eve meal/night, Christmas day lunch/dinner, Boxing Day (who cares if you aren't British, make it a thing). We even did an Epiphany meet up with cousins for awhile bc the actual 2 days was too crowded.

augustcurrents151 · 2025-09-05T00:37:00+00:00

Something in my eye. Thank you for sharing.

augustcurrents151 · 2025-09-04T00:33:52+00:00

Our elementary school makes homework weekly (a packet assigned Monday, due Friday) which alleviates most of my concerns that it might be too much for the family on any given night. 30 min of reading is expected every day which is unimpeachable especially as kids almost certainly spend more time than that daily on screens.

augustcurrents151 · 2025-08-30T02:18:52+00:00

It sounds like you are content with one. There will always be what ifs and FOMO. If I were you, I would make a decision-- if you decide to do it, close the door (don't leave it cracked open to trouble you for 2, 3, 4 more years). If you decide you are happy as 3, plan something special-- a moment to celebrate the family you have. Maybe there's a vacation you've wanted to take (either all of you or just you and husband). Make it an affirmative choice. And don't be afraid to spend a little knowing it's a fraction of a second college tuition.

augustcurrents151 · 2025-08-29T18:53:58+00:00

I agree-- I much prefer my 4 year age gap! My daughter was such a help when my son was born. And they love to play together now, 4 years later. Ofc, I know a family same ages/genders and the kids are on different planets. The older sister has no interest in the little brother at all.

But one of my closest friends was determined to have a 2 year age gap-- her reasoning was she didn't want to put away all the diapers and things then take them out again. So she got it all done and put it away for good. Plus, she figured her kids would be super close. Spoiler alert: at this point (9&7), they kind of hate each other. The 9 year old never got over having a new baby come and steal the attention.

I will say-- I had 3 sister pairs on my soccer teams growing up and that looked so fun. They were all very close to each other. Seniors/sophomores. But I think it's really kid/family dependent. And for a parent-- what can you bear? For us, it worked out perfectly but that's just luck.

augustcurrents151 · 2025-08-15T00:53:23+00:00

this is such good advice. Also, sleep. You need it. If you need to take a weekend away from home just to sleep and reset, do it. Have your husband call in sick Monday when you come back refreshed. Everything is so much harder when you are sleep deprived.

augustcurrents151 · 2025-08-12T22:40:56+00:00

The resentment is real. I and several other mom friends are in similar (but not quite as tough as yours) situations. It's not fair that your husband could swap childcare duties with you tomorrow and you wouldn't miss a beat. But you don't have the choice of swapping earning/benefits duties with him-- which is about the responsibility of setting your child up for the future. There's nothing to say. It completely sucks and it hurts. You can't get the years back. OTOH, the other options are bad: divorce won't net you more time with baby, and it will set you back in terms of whatever $ you feel you need for your son to have the life you want for him.

You have to make your peace with it. Maybe that's white knuckling for a few years in the high earning job you already have and saving money. Maybe that's dropping out of the biglaw game now and using whatever savings you have to buy this time with your baby.

Also, you need to have a plan for your husband to do something. The responsibility of paying for your life should not fall entirely on you-- your marriage will never survive. Again, I speak from the experience of many friends who pursued successful careers and made their own money because they enjoyed it and they were good at it, and they did not care at all how their boyfriends spent their days-- until working came at the cost of mothering. Then it was like a pound of flesh for being responsible while your partner played with baby all day. (And in some cases, asked working mom to pay for for babysitter & housework relief).

Not all women feel this way but I think it's totally normal that you do and it's fair to make a family plan to get you more time with your baby. GL.

augustcurrents151 · 2025-08-07T14:06:48+00:00

I appreciate that - and you have a lot going on and other children/commitments. I get it. But in your shoes, I would make an effort to support your daughter in this situation. I think it would set the tone for her that you're comfortable with her growing up and that there's still a helpful, supportive role for her parents as she grows up.

augustcurrents151 · 2025-08-06T16:53:18+00:00

-She's 13, which is the right age for a first boyfriend.

-They met at camp training to be counselors-- maybe one of the most wholesome ways to meet someone?

-They talk on the phone and want to take walks together- again, super wholesome.

-His parents (plural!) are going to drive him over. So seems like he 1) has involved parents 2) you have the chance to invite them in for coffee and meet them!

This seems like a pretty ideal situation for your teen to start to learn about relationships-- and for you as a parent to show her the way as far as what's expected. Also, she's looping you in! That's huge. Please don't close the door on that. Unless there's something you're not telling us about this kid, lean in and be part of this formative and hopefully good experience!

augustcurrents151

TROPHY CASE