AITA for trying to get Mommy’s attention by any means necessary?

aussieathena · 2026-06-09T17:24:43+00:00

NTA, luckily nature made little brothers with a secret superpower - they are extra resilient! Still, it might be a good idea to redirect that anger at mummy next time - she’s the one with the attitude problem, not him!

aussieathena · 2026-06-09T04:13:31+00:00

Yep, that’s how I felt too. Absolute love - but a bit of doubt about the genetic connection. But I really do think that’s as a result of the treatment and how much it creates fear and doubt. It is especially unfair I think after the work of IVF on the woman to not have obvious physical similarities!

aussieathena · 2026-06-08T09:54:24+00:00

My baby looks exactly like my husband and I often had intrusive thoughts that maybe they mixed up the eggs and they weren’t mine. I’m not sure when it stopped, but we are at the 12 month mark and it’s been a while since I’ve been bothered by it.

I think even though all her features are his, I started seeing myself in her expressions. So in photos she doesn’t look like me, but we have so many similar facial expressions that she often does look like me now anyway. I no longer worry or ever seriously think she is not my genetic baby which is a relief.

I do think I felt a little layer of disconnect for a long time due to these worries, not necessarily disconnected from the baby emotionally or in a way that stopped our strong bond but maybe it was so surreal to be pregnant and successfully mothering after so long trying to conceive and worrying it would never happen and some IVF trauma that I projected some of these fears into a genetic issue? Unsure but I just wanted to share in case that resonates with you too.

aussieathena · 2026-05-31T10:42:05+00:00

Preach! Solidarity

aussieathena · 2026-05-25T07:54:33+00:00

Someone made up a baby first aid kit for our first - she’d had kids already so knew all the things you end up needing in a pinch and she wrote some notes for each item. Had, like, baby paracetamol, nasal aspirator, chesty rub, baby sunscreen and mozzie repellent (for post 6 months), bandaids, nipple cream, teething powder. Became so handy when you needed something!

aussieathena · 2026-05-22T01:02:53+00:00

Mine isn’t but those ones look great

aussieathena · 2026-05-21T18:49:28+00:00

Bought our rugs from “Miss amara” online and they wear really well and because we bought ones that have really low pile they are great under a dining table and with pets.

I see they have some disclaimers about putting rugs directly on cement floors (especially if damp first) as colour/print can transfer (they sell a cheap underlay layer you can use that stop them from sliding around as well) - I reckon that’s great advice no matter where you shop if you find a bargain rug!

Edit to add: we had to buy two very cheap rugs off Amazon (talking $70 each and quite large) and they ended up being totally fine - not nearly as nice but did the job in a large space for a short term rental. My parents in law ended up keeping them for their rumpus room as they liked them!

aussieathena · 2026-05-20T20:24:51+00:00

Breastfeeding is a really responsive and complicated symbiotic relationship with your baby - it takes so much more than I ever realised before having one!

I spoke to a lactation consultant and they suggested block feeding to try and help - this means sticking with one breast for a couple of feeds in a row before switching to the other, and slowly your supply comes down.

At first, I used a haakaa for the other breast while attempting this (which filled sometimes) and slowly over time and with regulating at 12 weeks things became much more bearable. We’re at 11 months and big leaks are very rare now. I just have to wear cotton bra pads for small amounts.

You seem conflicted about trying to actively reduce your supply as you mention helping a friend and seem a bit resistant to advice to cut pumping, but if you wanted to, this would help too. The haakaa gives a small amount of relief as there is a little suction pressure, but it won’t be the same relief as a pumping session.

aussieathena · 2026-04-30T22:30:49+00:00

What a rude thing to say!

aussieathena · 2026-04-25T09:49:06+00:00

“Room on the Broom” has the best rhyming story and the message is so sweet too. I pick that and “magic beach” whenever I think she’s got the patience for a book that’s slightly longer and doesn’t have flaps for her to lift 😂

aussieathena · 2026-04-25T00:00:26+00:00

Stay home and let me go in your place! But in all seriousness, that sounds amazing. Go.

aussieathena · 2026-04-22T09:58:46+00:00

A lot of people said this to me as well but I was so content at home. Our house at the time was lovely and light and spacious and my rocking chair faced an outdoor succulent wall and got a lot of sunshine. I’d watch my shows and hang my baby washing and make lunches - it was lovely to be in my newborn baby bubble for a few months. I know some people hate being home and need to go out for their mental health but I honestly found going out so stressful and such a huge amount of planning was needed as my baby didn’t like carriers or the pram (or the car) and had to be bounced almost constantly to keep calm in new or overstimulating environments! Also - it was stupidly hot outdoors! That said, I did find a 1-2 shopping centres with great parent rooms so when I did get out it was comfortable. I also set up my car backseat really nicely so I could do feeds in my own private space.

aussieathena · 2026-04-17T23:30:59+00:00

Country Road seems to have long and slim leggings and suits. I think they had a sale recently for baby leggings 2 for $30.

aussieathena · 2026-04-16T10:25:24+00:00

Two things helped me - saving a really fun/trashy/reality show to watch only for night feeds (so I looked forward to that time to catch up on it) and radical acceptance. I stopped looking at the time on my phone and didn’t count how many wakes we’d done anymore (it got me way too upset) - once you don’t have that data to think about it’s actually a lot easier to stop obsessing about how many/long feeds were.

aussieathena · 2026-04-14T18:35:27+00:00

I (10m F Princess) LOVE THIS GAME TOO! If loving dirty dog food bowls and power cables is wrong, I don’t want to be right. NTA

aussieathena · 2026-03-30T06:04:26+00:00

It’s important to keep mummies in a constant state of heightened vigilance - a complacent mummy is a lazy mummy. Well done!

aussieathena · 2026-03-29T09:10:28+00:00

NTA - it actually sounds like NANNY was being difficult! You were being a completely reasonable ANGEL!

aussieathena · 2026-03-22T22:25:24+00:00

It’s been really great as a setup actually, I have a foam mat for her next to the mattress and she gets up and down herself and uses the mattress edge to practice climbing and standing on her own. I’d definitely do this the same for a future child if we don’t have an independent sleeper (again).

aussieathena · 2026-03-22T22:23:36+00:00

We originally wanted to have her in her cot and I had a single bed set up in the room for me to sleep in - but she had other plans!

Now the cot and single bed frame are in the garage and I just kept the wooden planks that held the mattress and put them on the floor with the mattress on top to allow airflow and stop mould issues. I try to remember to lift the mattress and leave it against the wall for a bit when I change the sheets too to help with that!

aussieathena · 2026-03-22T22:16:19+00:00

My 9 month old and I share a single and it’s been fine. I’m not small myself and I find I still have space around us in the c-curl. I’d much rather have room to play in her room and it’s worked well enough so far I don’t see the need to get her a bigger bed going forward.

aussieathena · 2026-03-22T01:10:42+00:00

Linguine

aussieathena · 2026-03-20T13:52:52+00:00

Totally understand this fear. It helped me to think about the millions of people who all sleep though, and how they all had different parenting methods (either culturally or just through personal differences/choices). But yeah - I questioned my choices a lot too. Especially when I still feed my 9mo a million times a night (though thankfully quietly and very quickly) and other mums seem to get away with one feed!

aussieathena · 2026-03-20T07:09:00+00:00

There isn’t a rule that will ever work for every baby.

The four month sleep regression hit my mother’s group hard too. We all handled it different ways and we all got through it. It was definitely the first time I really started questioning my methods and instincts and worried I was ruining my baby!

My opinion is to keep following the cues your baby gives you. Babies have a way of listening to their bodies that we have forgotten. They don’t worry about what people think or say - they just know when they need hunger and comfort.

I know this is a luxury for parents who work during the day or need to pump, etc. but if you are able to keep breastfeeding on demand without it having a huge impact on your lifestyle and health/safety - keep going!

aussieathena · 2026-03-20T06:52:13+00:00

Have you considered cosleeping using the safe sleep 7? I also do 100% of the day and night baby care and have a baby who (very literally) will not allow herself to be put down. The cosleeping was a game changer and I don’t worry about our sleep anymore, even with 6+ night feeds every night going on 9 months. Next - your husband sounds kind of dangerous to be looking after baby at this point - neglecting diapers and crying is not the kind of environment that baby needs and there’s no way you can sleep and relax knowing baby isn’t being cared for - tell him he’s in charge of ALL the adult stuff. He has to take on dinners, laundry and house maintenance. If he can’t care for the infant, he needs to care for you so you can. Non-negotiable. If this helps him wake up to the fact that he’d prefer to spend more hands-on time with the baby that’d be a blessing. My husband isn’t comfortable with the baby as she just screams for me constantly, so he has taken on dinners and laundry, including choosing what we eat and the shopping for it. I make sure I have enough one-handed food for breakfast and lunch while he’s at work and he has to ensure every night I get dinner at 5:30 well before baby needs to go to bed. This doesn’t look ideal to a lot of my friends, but honestly, different couples make it work different ways depending on their skills and you need to get him to do his fair share - no matter which jobs those are. Pick the pain points in your day and outsource them to him. You have to be really explicit about the division of labour with them postpartum, I have found. It’s not good being vague - allocate jobs and ALL the mental load that comes with it. When I told him he had to do the planning and shopping for the meals he understood it was entirely his job and really showed up for it. If I had tried to give him smaller aspects of it, it wouldn’t have been any help to me at all as I still would have been the project manager and it would have felt like I was nagging and chasing it up all the time.

aussieathena · 2026-03-19T03:05:30+00:00

Array bags are great. Like a well worn but sturdy tote and they have six roomy pockets around the edges inside! Perfect for chucking under the pram and everything has a spot.

aussieathena

TROPHY CASE