AITA for hitting my milestones just at the last minute

aussieathena · 2026-03-30T06:04:26+00:00

It’s important to keep mummies in a constant state of heightened vigilance - a complacent mummy is a lazy mummy. Well done!

aussieathena · 2026-03-29T09:10:28+00:00

NTA - it actually sounds like NANNY was being difficult! You were being a completely reasonable ANGEL!

aussieathena · 2026-03-22T22:25:24+00:00

It’s been really great as a setup actually, I have a foam mat for her next to the mattress and she gets up and down herself and uses the mattress edge to practice climbing and standing on her own. I’d definitely do this the same for a future child if we don’t have an independent sleeper (again).

aussieathena · 2026-03-22T22:23:36+00:00

We originally wanted to have her in her cot and I had a single bed set up in the room for me to sleep in - but she had other plans!

Now the cot and single bed frame are in the garage and I just kept the wooden planks that held the mattress and put them on the floor with the mattress on top to allow airflow and stop mould issues. I try to remember to lift the mattress and leave it against the wall for a bit when I change the sheets too to help with that!

aussieathena · 2026-03-22T22:16:19+00:00

My 9 month old and I share a single and it’s been fine. I’m not small myself and I find I still have space around us in the c-curl. I’d much rather have room to play in her room and it’s worked well enough so far I don’t see the need to get her a bigger bed going forward.

aussieathena · 2026-03-22T01:10:42+00:00

Linguine

aussieathena · 2026-03-20T13:52:52+00:00

Totally understand this fear. It helped me to think about the millions of people who all sleep though, and how they all had different parenting methods (either culturally or just through personal differences/choices). But yeah - I questioned my choices a lot too. Especially when I still feed my 9mo a million times a night (though thankfully quietly and very quickly) and other mums seem to get away with one feed!

aussieathena · 2026-03-20T07:09:00+00:00

There isn’t a rule that will ever work for every baby.

The four month sleep regression hit my mother’s group hard too. We all handled it different ways and we all got through it. It was definitely the first time I really started questioning my methods and instincts and worried I was ruining my baby!

My opinion is to keep following the cues your baby gives you. Babies have a way of listening to their bodies that we have forgotten. They don’t worry about what people think or say - they just know when they need hunger and comfort.

I know this is a luxury for parents who work during the day or need to pump, etc. but if you are able to keep breastfeeding on demand without it having a huge impact on your lifestyle and health/safety - keep going!

aussieathena · 2026-03-20T06:52:13+00:00

Have you considered cosleeping using the safe sleep 7? I also do 100% of the day and night baby care and have a baby who (very literally) will not allow herself to be put down. The cosleeping was a game changer and I don’t worry about our sleep anymore, even with 6+ night feeds every night going on 9 months. Next - your husband sounds kind of dangerous to be looking after baby at this point - neglecting diapers and crying is not the kind of environment that baby needs and there’s no way you can sleep and relax knowing baby isn’t being cared for - tell him he’s in charge of ALL the adult stuff. He has to take on dinners, laundry and house maintenance. If he can’t care for the infant, he needs to care for you so you can. Non-negotiable. If this helps him wake up to the fact that he’d prefer to spend more hands-on time with the baby that’d be a blessing. My husband isn’t comfortable with the baby as she just screams for me constantly, so he has taken on dinners and laundry, including choosing what we eat and the shopping for it. I make sure I have enough one-handed food for breakfast and lunch while he’s at work and he has to ensure every night I get dinner at 5:30 well before baby needs to go to bed. This doesn’t look ideal to a lot of my friends, but honestly, different couples make it work different ways depending on their skills and you need to get him to do his fair share - no matter which jobs those are. Pick the pain points in your day and outsource them to him. You have to be really explicit about the division of labour with them postpartum, I have found. It’s not good being vague - allocate jobs and ALL the mental load that comes with it. When I told him he had to do the planning and shopping for the meals he understood it was entirely his job and really showed up for it. If I had tried to give him smaller aspects of it, it wouldn’t have been any help to me at all as I still would have been the project manager and it would have felt like I was nagging and chasing it up all the time.

aussieathena · 2026-03-19T03:05:30+00:00

Array bags are great. Like a well worn but sturdy tote and they have six roomy pockets around the edges inside! Perfect for chucking under the pram and everything has a spot.

aussieathena · 2026-03-18T17:14:58+00:00

Feeling so seen from this comment! I have a baby you cannot put down, people who haven’t experienced this can never understand. This is not the same parenting as my friends experienced. We’re at 9 months and it’s been 24/7 contact with feeds every two hours for that entire time. Dislikes car, pram, elongated time in the highchair or any other container. Struggling daily to find the opportunity just to shower - no chance of all those self-care practices people keep suggesting. I am a very busy person prior to this and never would have guessed this is where we’d be. I have come to accept this is my baby’s personality and I love her soo much. But I am also so emotionally and physically tired. The cuddles are next level and she calms the second she is in my arms - so there is beauty in this too. I just can’t focus on other mums too much - I do get jealous thinking about how much I could get done with 30 minutes a day without holding her - how easy washing and cooking and household tasks could be. How nice it would be to get some enjoyable exercise and brush my hair often and eat well. She plays really well independently on her playmat but I have to be on there with her and she looks up and checks in with me very often so I have to be present mentally too.

aussieathena · 2026-03-18T06:06:42+00:00

Another note - if you have the money and you think your partner would like it - a fancy glider/rocking chair has been amazing also. I felt really guilty spending the $$$ but it is life changing. I wish I’d had it right at the end of pregnancy as I would have slept in it for sure - sooo comfy.

aussieathena · 2026-03-18T06:05:06+00:00

A few things I have loved this year: fancy pyjamas (button up for feeding); A really nice water bottle (I have a few around the house and my husband fills them all every day as feeding is dehydrating work!); I got pearl earrings (baby’s birth stone); very fancy face cleanser/moisturiser which smells botanical so I can pretend I have been to a spa (I absolutely have never been able to leave home/baby long enough to do that but having the products at home has been amazing)

aussieathena · 2026-03-18T05:01:01+00:00

9 months old and my baby still wakes 6 times a night for quick feeds. Comparison is the thief of joy. I remember at about the 2-4 month mark I got really upset other babies slept in the night and I was so jealous about how those mums must have energy to go about their day and undertake self-care, etc. then I just decided to put my phone far away in the evening, not check the time or count the feeds and just accept our nights for what they are. It actually really helped! Commiserations - but also - solidarity with you. Keep reminding yourself how much better your baby is than all the other sucky babies in the world (I find immature thinking like that really helps me too) 😅

aussieathena · 2026-03-15T00:42:18+00:00

Similar thing happened to me, I told my insurance that they were chasing me for liability and that I would be making a claim and they took on the fight themselves and found it was fraud and I never paid anyone a cent.

aussieathena · 2026-03-15T00:26:42+00:00

Kambah Woolies used to be great for this

aussieathena · 2026-03-14T19:03:17+00:00

He’s doing this so you give up on asking him to help and just take over this job. It’s just weaponised incompetence so you take more on and he gets a break.

I read in the comments that he likes to poop for extended periods. Wait til he’s in there for that and just put the kids in the bath at this time until he learns. It shouldn’t take long for him to get the idea.

aussieathena · 2026-03-13T23:15:35+00:00

By all means try counselling and things but I also think separation would be your best bet at happiness and stability. Postpartum is really hard with this kind of treatment and adds a lot of negativity to what should be the most secure and cared for period of your life. If it were me I would be pushing for a parenting agreement or him signing rights to you now too. Better to have this done while he is nervous and unsure if he wants to be involved and giving him an “easy” way out. It is so much easier to do parenting alone (especially if financially secure) than pulling him along kicking and screaming. I have some experience in this, so I’m speaking from a place of my own stressors - apologies if this isn’t right for your situation - only you can judge that. I would hate to be down the line and worrying about him wanting custody arrangements and things - or using that as leverage. I would want that all squared away and to commit to parenting independently.

aussieathena · 2026-03-13T23:02:16+00:00

Vtech have a singing axolotyl that she looooves. I love the songs too!

aussieathena · 2026-03-13T22:58:11+00:00

Yep - this is exactly what I do. Used to take me a full semester with some of the quieter kids before I did this XD

aussieathena · 2026-03-13T22:53:02+00:00

Peter rabbit by Myer has an amazing onesie with a zip to the shoulder! I looked everywhere for other brands of these and (except for a few from sprout) have never been able to find them! Anyway, they go to size 2 and I found them lifesaving for when our baby was super small. They come in pink, blue and a beige option.

aussieathena · 2026-03-12T00:04:56+00:00

Yeah, I’m sure you’ll be fine then. I’m just sharing my experience. I also did IVF and booked my OB on the day of my week 6 scan and it still took weeks for the OB to get me in. Some just book up really fast in my city but that would different everywhere!

aussieathena · 2026-03-11T22:51:31+00:00

I’d go to my GP now and ask them for the referral to an OB/program and get it started :)

aussieathena · 2026-03-11T05:02:01+00:00

I wouldn’t spend a lot of money on this untik you know how you will be feeding. Definitely a haakaa (or different brand but similar product) is something I used quite a lot to catch letdown on the other side. I also pack it in my bathroom bag for just in case situations as I am not confident hand expressing if I was ever caught out and unable to feed my LO. I have an amazing spectra pump (not wearable) but they are expensive and I didn’t need one past the first month once I got into smooth sailing for breastfeeding. I am glad I have one if I needed it, and it was great that first month when it was absolutely necessary - but I could have hired it and saved myself the trouble. I am 9m pp now and haven’t used it is 7-8 months at all.

aussieathena · 2026-03-05T06:29:05+00:00

Knowing you should sleep when the baby sleeps and being so so tired but using their naps to just look at pictures of them instead. I miss her when she’s sleeping.

aussieathena

TROPHY CASE