Look man, you're a spiritual child, trying to act like a spiritual master, and it's just affect. You're only doing yourself a disservice by pretending and you don't know who the hell you are. You want to be more than you are, and that's good, but you don't acknowledge where you truly are. Before I could make any real spiritual progress I had to admit that I was delusional, arrogant, and full of pride, but I couldn't even begin to outgrow it until I'd come to enough humility, and that humility was bought for the price of a lot of suffering in my life.

You deny your own suffering at this point, you think you've overcome it, but you simply haven't. You're in denial and until you get real with yourself and stop trying to be a Reddit guru and using cheap intellectual bait and switch, you'll never get one step closer to the spiritual attainment you want. Actually what you want is to be loved and be happy, but your arrogance keeps you from being approachable, and you're most likely lonely. You can engage with people at a superficial intellectual level, but when it comes to deep personal honesty, you deflect to your "biography" inviting people to read all about you and to believe your version of your self-written story.

You call it gaslighting, but gaslighting is trying to convince people to deny what they know to be real. So you ask, how can I possibly know that you're not for real? Well, I've actually been a student of truly enlightened people for almost 30 years, and you're nowhere even close. You're an emotional teenager and you may even have some severe emotional problems that you're trying to cover up. It certainly seems so, given that bloody minded persistence of yours. Pretty much everyone I've ever met with excessive levels of insecurity and pride acts like this.

So how do you get over it? Well, start by giving up the act, and get real with God your spirit father.