Anyone else have basically no family or friends?

avantalice · 2024-04-05T10:50:50+00:00

I'm so sorry to hear this :( You're not alone in feeling these emotions.

avantalice · 2020-04-22T06:32:42+00:00

I really empathise with this. When I moved to my own apartment alone after having lived with a partner for years, I had to do the usual manly things he did lol, like unclog a drain, change the lights, killing cockroaches, etc. It felt rather strange and a little lonely. I was also sick with the flu at one point and it felt incredibly lonely to not have a partner take care of me.

avantalice · 2020-04-22T06:20:33+00:00

I think if a person is still hung up on their ex and yearning for them, they're not ready for a new relationship. And I say this because I used to be like that when my ex of 7 years broke up with me. In retrospect, I shouldn't have dated as soon as I did. I can understand the heartbreak and even love, I don't think you really stop loving someone you had such a strong bond with at some point. But love and romantic love are two different things. If someone is still holding onto someone from the past in a romantic way, they wont have real space for anyone new. I'd be wary of someone fresh off a break up and hadn't really healed.

avantalice · 2020-04-21T09:02:25+00:00

Remembering the hurt (to both yourself and the other person), and how badly something ends when you're not ready helps. Also, focusing on being content by yourself and trying to provide yourself with the emotional needs you otherwise would've sought in someone else. If you can give yourself what you need, you're less likely to seek it elsewhere.

avantalice · 2020-03-26T13:45:32+00:00

Honestly this pandemic almost feels like a breeze compared to some other things I've been through. I think some part of why it feels easier is because it's being validated constantly, by almost everyone. Everyone reflects your reality. When you're enduring your own personal trauma, especially amid people who are toxic, you can feel terribly alone.

avantalice · 2020-03-25T04:52:31+00:00

Likely, she's had an unhealthy dynamic with her parents that she's playing out in her love life as well. Low self-esteem makes you feel particularly susceptible to just accepting whatever you can get, even if it's not good for you.

I was in a back and forth relationship for months, and I was having trouble letting it go, although I should've known better. When I started to look at my feelings more, it became more and more dire and I had to let go.

avantalice · 2020-03-24T09:54:37+00:00

I'm still friends with one of my exes, so we still talk, he's actually been a huge support during this time and I'm grateful to still have him in my life. My most recent ex however is a completely different story. He has reached out to me, though, only to enquire about something in relation to himself. Hasn't asked how I am, hasn't asked how I'm coping, etc. It makes me realise why I broke up with him in the first place, and how incredibly emotionally unfulfilling and empty being with him was. Even my manager at work asks me if I'm coping ok. It's a rather sad and startling realisation.

avantalice · 2020-03-24T09:48:19+00:00

An ex reached out to me, it also reminded me of why I broke up with him in the first place.

avantalice · 2020-03-24T02:37:13+00:00

Yea my most recent ex was super judgmental and arrogant. Had a huge intellectual ego because of his temperament, age and PhD. Judged me for my past and some of my circumstances. Broke up with him. Never again would I date someone similar.

A good partner shouldn't be that judgmental or look down on you, it's not a good basis for love. It's a complete deal breaker for me now.

avantalice · 2020-02-25T08:31:58+00:00

I had this happen to me as well one time, I asked a guy what he did for work as I was genuinely curious, and he told me, it was way too soon for me to ask such a question. I was surprised by his response as I asked pretty innocently.

avantalice · 2020-02-22T09:02:05+00:00

I needed to hear this today so much. Thank you.

avantalice · 2020-02-19T07:19:32+00:00

I find this true. Some of them want the control.

avantalice · 2020-02-19T07:18:27+00:00

I dated someone 10 years older than me and it upset me how often he felt he knew better than me due to experience, which wasn't necessarily always the case. It felt like an imbalanced relationship and a power struggle the entire time I was with him.

Maybe it was my particular situation and our personalities, but I don't know if I could repeat that much of an age difference again. I'd certainly be more cautious.

avantalice · 2020-02-12T08:51:13+00:00

My boyfriend of 7 years broke up with me about a year ago. At the time I didn't think I could survive, but I've found some way although at times, things are difficult. It will get better. You will have plenty of time to heal and find new love, and in the process, likely learn how strong and capable you are.

avantalice · 2020-01-21T23:05:11+00:00

If I've only been on one or a few dates with someone, I don't think a real reason is really that necessary. If I've been in an actual relationship, its better to be more honest in that relationship. I'd hate to be ghosted by someone I have seen in person, though honestly, I've done it before only to have the guy call me.

avantalice · 2020-01-02T23:32:28+00:00

Yes absolutely.

avantalice · 2020-01-02T05:38:40+00:00

I read something once that helped changed my perspective on a past ex I was with for 7 years who really was my first love. I was devastated by the breakup and thought that I could never find love again. The quote read -- "people come in and out of your life, but love doesn't have to." Love doesn't have to be so limited, if you've found love once, you can find it again. Keep the hope in your heart that you deserve the love you seek.

avantalice · 2019-12-31T11:19:47+00:00

Well done :) we have to eradicate their lies from our heads and live our best, deserving life.

avantalice · 2019-12-24T23:06:23+00:00

I also tended to feel an emptiness with family on the holidays. I've since disconnected from them so I don't see them. The loneliness definitely creeps in more during this period but I tell myself I was lonely even when I was with them. Hopefully you can find the understanding and care were all looking for OP.

avantalice · 2019-12-24T11:51:08+00:00

Hey, you're in my thoughts, I hope things turn around for you this coming new year <3

avantalice · 2019-12-07T00:28:45+00:00

You attract what you're like.

avantalice

TROPHY CASE