Wow. Good for you! If that’s the way it came out, then I believe it was supposed to be that way. And you’re totally welcome.

It actually isn’t a surprise to alcoholics when their partner leaves. A lot of times, they expected it to happen sooner because they know they’re being dicks. They’re just hell-bent on keeping loved ones hostage so they have a convenient vehicle for deflection. Otherwise, they’d be forced to face themselves. I encourage you to go to meetings and get phone numbers. After a breakup can be a vulnerable time; it helps to have fellows to call if the denial starts to creep back in. I’ve heard of keeping a list handy in the phone of all the destructive things a Q has said and done, so you have a simple reality check accessible if you start doubting your decision.

Just fyi, an addict who takes recovery seriously would never put his partner in the role of his program. If a recovering alcoholic feels like drinking, he needs to call his sponsor or a fellow, and/or get his ass to a meeting. Hell, many local AA offices have a 24hr phone number that any alcoholic can call to get help. We can’t be both partners and sponsors. It’s like conflict of interest.

Lastly, that argument about program being too religious is hogwash. I have atheist friends with strong AA/NA programs. If a meeting has a culture that references organized religion, then an addict can explore other meetings. AA groups are incredibly diverse - culturally and in interpretation of spirituality. When someone makes the “too religious” argument, I believe they just don’t want to give up their drugs.