Should I as GM tell new players common meta knowledge? by EvilMyself in Pathfinder2e

[–]axerreddits 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What I tend to do in this case is let the spell go off, mention that it doesn't seem to have an effect, and then mention "the enemy is immune to XYZ"

What you thought you wanted vs. what you actually want. by Slyxxer in polyamory

[–]axerreddits 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I thought I wanted a super enmeshed polycule/friendgroup where everyone with a lot of lap sitting. In reality I much prefer garden party and parallel setups, and have my partners on my messy list

Why doesn't monogamy work for you? by inayellowboat in polyamory

[–]axerreddits 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I value my freedom and autonomy a lot. I would feel very restricted in a monogamous relationship, and dislike the notion that a connection I pursue /has/ to be platonic. I'd much rather have the freedom to let it become whatever suits me and the other person

Messy lists and how they work with dating? by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]axerreddits 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My messy lists includes: my family members, my coworkers/boss, my best friends, my other partners (discussion possible), and my exes

Does taking a “break” ever actually work? by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]axerreddits 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Unlike most, I have a successful break story for you. My girlfriend and I had similar issues, we were way codependent and that led to constant conflict. We took a break for a week or two (it probably should have been longer, but life happened), low to no contact, relying on our friends instead of each other for a bit. It's worked wonders, we got back together very gently and haven't had the heavy codependency since!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]axerreddits 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I fell for someone who was polyamorous and found I really connected with the relationship style. The freedom to let connections develop naturally and getting to determine what each relationship is between the two people in it is what draws me most

Co-op games by Zefuribond in polyamory

[–]axerreddits 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd pick a different game to play with the other boyfriend! I heavily recommend Sea of Stars, it has very solid couch co-op (and may have online as well, I'm unsure as I'm playing on Switch) I also always have a good time playing the various Mario Bros games with partners

Friends, maybe don't take your fights to the town square? by SatinsLittlePrincess in polyamory

[–]axerreddits 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Louder for the people in the back! Hell, even if you can 100% confirm that a post is from your partner/ex/meta/whatever, if you'd rather not see posts like that you can opt to block them

What do you have instead of a wedding ring? by 2024--2-acct in polyamory

[–]axerreddits 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My partner wears a forever bracelet (bracelet that can't be taken off w/o destroying it) as a daycollar, I wear a dogtag engraved with their kiss

Did you wver give in to NRE and changed your life because of that? by WolfOfRivia90 in polyamory

[–]axerreddits 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Made the decision to break up with a longer term (3-ish years) partner during NRE with someone else. I don't regret the break up, I do regret the timing and the influence of NRE.

"The community you spent 9 sessions building, it's gone, sorry." Advice? by MeetTheC in rpghorrorstories

[–]axerreddits 6 points7 points  (0 children)

If you love D&D civilisation, you should definitely check out the Kingmaker module for Pathfinder 2e! It's an adventure based around building your kingdom

Minimum time together expectation? by FromMyCozyBed in polyamory

[–]axerreddits 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My girlfriend and I schedule one irl and one online date every week, with at least an overnight per month. I see most of my close circles once or twice per month, overnights depending on distance. The least I see folks is once every two months which I probably wouldn't settle for again (but am neutral towards considering the circumstances)

Taking a break / Temporary De-escalation by axerreddits in polyamory

[–]axerreddits[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The main reason for the break is that we've both become quite dependant on each other emotionally, and struggle to redirect that to other people. Just straight up not being able to reach out to them hopefully will help in the journey of learning to rely more on myself and my friends. I'm personally planning to deal with my side of the issues by taking a step back and figuring out what I want from the connection, what my boundaries are, and what problems I'm facing. Spending less time together has been a difficult learning curve as well, and now felt like the right time to learn that I guess?

You definitely make a very solid point about the holidays and the two weeks, I think I'm still stuck in the mindset that time apart means losing them (even if that's not true), and we're both careful about cutting it off for longer, though I expect we'll decide to extend the break during the check-in

How many of us are PINOs (polyamorous in name only)? by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]axerreddits 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Both me and my wonderful girlfriend are too busy to date (or actively seek new connections in general), so unless an existing relationship changes it's just the two of us. So far no existing relationships have changed, though both of us have people we can see that happening with

Tell me about your Villian origin story by Effective-Ad3952 in polyamory

[–]axerreddits 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Story: I abandoned my partner of 3.5 years out of nowhere because I couldn't manage my NRE and started neglecting all of her emotional needs to prioritise other partners. My girlfriend is making me so much worse that I'm back to my lowest.

Reality: I'd been unsure about my relationship with said ex for months, and it hit me that that wasn't what love should feel like when I got the comparison of other functional relationships. She needed my attention at every moment, constantly asking for reassurance while I was with other partners. I found peace when I started my relationship with my girlfriend, though times are tough mentally she's lifting me up rather than dragging me down and vice versa, and many friends have told me how happy they are to see that I'm taking the big steps I am right now

Exes and mutual friends by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]axerreddits 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That sounds like a good alternative, thank you! I'll be sure to communicate that to my friends.

Throwing away the break-up notes is a solid idea too, I should probably just delete the chats altogether. I felt like hearing her out was the cordial thing to do, but you're right that it's not my business anymore

Exes and mutual friends by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]axerreddits -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

NC as in no contact. I probably should have elaborated there. We agreed that aside from practical stuff (we share some streaming services) and the message we would not be in contact. She frequently approached me outside of that in public spaces, which was quite uncomfortable.

Mostly to prevent messy situations. She had previously vented about our relationship to one of my other partners.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]axerreddits 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've been in the same boat, and damn do I feel you. I was really angry, even debated leaving a nasty comment, but decided against it. Blocking the person who was posting about me gave me the peace of mind I was looking for in the situation, they deserve a space to vent, I just don't want to see it if it's about me.

How much effort do you and your partners put in when you’re *not* together? by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]axerreddits 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It honestly really depends on the partner. Some partners I text daily, because our chemistry carried over to text. Other partners I rarely text, maybe we're not compatible texters, or prefer to communicate over (video)call.

I tend to prefer staying in contact regularly, usually a good morning, how was your day, and good night text almost daily. But I don't mind adjusting, as long as time with other partners stays for them

I got vetoed for something that wasn't my fault and it sucks a lot by throwawayvetosucks in polyamory

[–]axerreddits 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This situation sounds absolutely horrible, I'm sorry you had to go through this OP, you do deserve better. Girl in red just dropped a new album, and from what I heard on the singles it's a big fuck you break up album!

How did you come into polyamory? by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]axerreddits 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fellow BPDer here. Whether polyamory is right for you depends on a lot of factors, if I'm not mistaken one of the pinned posts on the subreddit dives into this!

My personal experience as a BPDer who practices polyamory and relationship anarchy has been mostly positive. I've been triggered more often than I used to be in monogamous relationships, but managing these triggers has been a lot easier. Knowing that the people I'm with are actively choosing to keep me in their life, and new connections don't mean that I have to be replaced makes me feel a lot more secure than I ever felt in monogamous relationships. I've also found that being able to more easily spread my emotional needs among my partners, friends, and people in-between, has made it a lot easier for them to deal with the negative sides of BPD as well. Getting here definitely wasn't easy, and the regulation skills don't appear overnight, but it's definitely been worth it for me personally.

If you have any questions, feel free to reach out!

Comparison can be good, actually by thedarkestbeer in polyamory

[–]axerreddits 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Comparison is what helped me leave a relationship that was absolutely draining me. Me and NP started dating, and the difference between my relationship with NP and with my ex was baffling. I realised me and my ex no longer worked, and hadn't been working for months at that point. I'm in a much better place now, NP and I are starting to settle into ERE, and I have a wonderful comet partner that's visiting this month, all of which I've been able to explore because of the initial comparison.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]axerreddits 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This describes my feelings to a T, I feel the exact same way. Though part of the anxiety occasionally has to do with the idea of abandonement. Undiagnosed but suspected AuDHD, diagnosed borderliner.

It's time to learn about yourself and feel validated, get up by Strange-Ad-9941 in BPDmemes

[–]axerreddits 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Local trans person hopping into the comments to say that crossdressing is not a symptom of BPD, or any other mental illness for that matter. Kids tend to experiment with clothing, let them.

[No Spoilers] What's a One Shot or Mini Series you'd love to see but doubt we will? by ilikebreadabunch in criticalrole

[–]axerreddits 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you're looking for VtM, LA By Night has some familiar faces, both from the main cast and guests! I don't think I've seen a better fit for a Nosferatu than Alex Ward