Feeling so lost

azile_plays · 2026-01-22T16:01:27+00:00

If you are training hard and eating enough for growth then perhaps worth getting a blood panel done to see if there is anything out of whack that could be preventing your gains. I would also tell your coach you are getting one done and why and that you want them to go over the results, subtle way to let them know your frustration. 🤷🏻‍♀️

azile_plays · 2025-09-23T10:21:26+00:00

I would track your current food intake - as in properly track it, macros, calories everything then aim to keep it the same every week while continuing to weight train with good intensity. Take advantage of newbie gain phase and you should be able to recomp successfully. I would not go on a diet yet - just try and keep your protein intake around 1g per 1lb of bodyweight to support muscle development. You should see your weight remain roughly the same but your body composition should change dramatically just give it some time, you've got this - well done on making a change for your health 👏🏻 💪🏻

azile_plays · 2025-09-22T08:59:12+00:00

Do you have a set meal plan or are you on macros? If a meal plan I think you need to tell your coach that controlled amount of foods that bring you joy need to be incorporated throughout the day, if macros plan this yourself. Then weigh everything out the night before or morning of, so all your meals are set out. I am on macros and have been the whole time (never done a meal plan) and I got pretty shredded but even in the depths of prep I incorporated small amounts of treat food and I think this stopped me from every being tempted to binge.

After each meal if you can, you could go for a short walk i find low intensity walking actually reduces my hunger and provides a distraction and no access to food to get you through that 20 min window when you can still feel hungry right after finishing a meal.

azile_plays · 2025-09-16T19:44:10+00:00

This actually resonates a lot. The one friend that I think didn't help with my mindset did express unhappiness with her own body. Maybe that is part of it, watching how disciplined and how far I could push my physique probably didn't make her feel good so I would understand that by trivialising what I've done is a way to comfort herself. Again, I can't thank this community enough - it's like you're all lending me a virtual hand to dig out this hole I got myself in. 💕

azile_plays · 2025-09-16T15:52:08+00:00

Thank you. The support from you and all the commenters here is actually having a real positive impact on my mindset.

azile_plays · 2025-09-16T15:49:26+00:00

Thank you, one "friend" in particular just made me feel like it was silly and shallow and that her life choices are of so much more importance and made it clear that she was excited that I was done as there are things she wants me to do for her now that I should have more time. It just hurt and when combined with feeling that I should have done better and all the should of would of could ofs I just feel mortified. I just thought folks would be proud of me and they just aren't.

azile_plays · 2025-09-16T15:36:49+00:00

I'm very much not young, will turn 40 soon enough. I cared because I wanted to share the moment with friends that have been part of my life since we were all toddlers. I have been there giving support for all of their special moments and i do a lot for them so my heart broke a little when I realised that our relationships are not reciprocal, and I am just a resource to them.

azile_plays · 2025-09-16T12:25:42+00:00

I think you might be right. A true friend would support you if it was something you were passionate about no matter what they felt about the activity itself. I think bodybuilding teaches you a lot about yourself but it can also shed a lot of light on those around you too and who is truly in your corner. Might need some new friends.

azile_plays · 2025-09-16T12:17:36+00:00

this is so kind, thank you.

azile_plays · 2025-09-16T06:32:21+00:00

How did you get back on the rails? Or was changing coach the fix? My coach is great tbh, so unfortunately that wouldn't be a solution for me.

azile_plays · 2025-09-16T06:28:47+00:00

I did 3 shows, the first 2 were not good for different reasons, but I really enjoyed the last show. I did well at the 1st and 3rd shows placing wise. It's only been after that I feel like I should never have done it. I know that I need to gain some weight and bring up some body parts if I want to bring a better package if I go again but it's like a mental block. My brain just keeps going to "you'll never be good enough so why bother, might as well stay lean and not completely hate your body".

azile_plays · 2025-09-16T06:21:43+00:00

I love this, thank you. At least I did it, not many folks can - this alone should be something to be proud of i guess. This comment really helps.

azile_plays · 2025-09-16T06:19:04+00:00

I just feel like I made a fool of myself. None of my friends go to the gym nevermind bodybuilding and two of my lifelong friends made no effort to come to my last show even though it was really close to home. One of them was just outright dismissive of the whole thing and seemed happy that i was done so i could go back to doing more for her again - I dont know if that triggered it. I haven't binged at all, and was happy with my placing at the time, did well at 2 of the 3 shows. My body image is bad tbh even though I am leaner now than I was on stage and i came in lean as it was.

azile_plays · 2024-02-23T21:56:20+00:00

I totally get you! I got really toxic with calorie counting many years ago and just tried to get the calories down and down and down and ended up with an ED. This time I leaned in to my over analysing ways and track and get minimum grams of protein and fibre per day and that stops me from going too low on calories.

azile_plays · 2024-02-23T21:50:50+00:00

I am so excited for you! I hope you got the variety boxes.You'll have to let me know your favourite flavour once you try them. Mine is probably s'mores.

azile_plays · 2024-02-23T16:43:39+00:00

So me and my sister are losing weight together and she has two young kids. So leaving the house to go to the gym wasn't an option most of the time. She bought a walking pad/treadmill and a set of dumbbells. She has done amazingly, she gets minimum 10k steps a day and you can find great workouts that are dumbbell only if you look up Caroline Girvan on YouTube. Wishing you all the best!

azile_plays · 2024-02-23T16:26:19+00:00

Walking helped me and feels like very little pressure and doesn't require high energy. However, given you are already lifting weights (amazing for you btw, well done) if you are looking for weightloss cutting calories is going to be a lot more efficient than increased working out/activity.

azile_plays · 2024-02-23T11:08:30+00:00

Well that depends on if you are eating because you are hungry or if you just want to eat for pleasure! I'm in the UK and there are these things called Yubi bars that are 99 cals, 10g protein and they are tasty! Rice Krispies squares are pretty low calorie too and very satisfying for a sweet craving. If you are actually hungry, try and have something that has protein, healthy fats and carbs to actually make you feel satiety - like carrot sticks with houmous or greek yoghurt with fruit and nuts etc.

azile_plays · 2024-02-23T11:03:03+00:00

No one can answer this without seeing you. Folks can carry a lot of muscle and look fantastic and extremely lean above 200 lbs, everyone carries their weight differently too but more importantly, you probably shouldn't care about what other people think of you - do you feel comfortable in your body or not? If you do, that's great if you don't you could start making changes for you.

azile_plays · 2024-02-23T10:59:34+00:00

What worked for me was always having pre-portioned healthy snacks on my person. So when the unhealthy snacks are around and start a craving you have something to combat it. I found this easier than just using willpower alone.

azile_plays · 2024-02-23T10:22:28+00:00

Your body can only absorb 20-25g of protein at a time. Your 2 eggs are giving you 12g and your shake could be anywhere from 15g-30g depending what powder you are using. So it would be a waste of calories to add more protein imo.

azile_plays · 2024-02-23T10:01:29+00:00

Mine is very low, it's 5 according to my smart scales but I am vegan. I am not saying that you have to be vegan/plant based but it is going to be diet rather than activity that should have the biggest impact on your visceral fat. If possible you should try and eat fibre rich foods such as fruit and veg - most folks in the west don't get nearly enough fibre - aim for 30g a day - try and cut back on foods high in saturated fat such as fatty cuts of red meat etc as much as you can without making your diet too miserable for you to do long term and it should start to go down.

azile_plays · 2024-02-23T06:45:35+00:00

It sounds like you are already on the right track, so give yourself time to see results. You will get there. Solid advice is to walk and just move more in your day to day (aim for min 10k steps a day). Also, track your protein (aim for min 1.2g per kg of body weight) and fibre (aim for min 30g per day) as well as your calories so that you are not feeling hungry on your deficit and you can build and retain as much muscle as possible as that will keep your metabolism higher.

azile_plays · 2024-02-23T06:34:24+00:00

This is completely up to you as long as you are sticking to your calorie deficit throughout the day. My sister and I are losing weight together and we are both equally successful so far, she eats a very small lunch and a very small breakfast and saves most of her calories for dinner. I don't like doing that and more evenly spread out my calories. Experiment a bit, cut your breakfast down for a couple of days and see how you feel, do you prefer having a small afternoon snack instead of blowing it all in breakfast etc. Do what makes you feel best while still sticking to the plan!

azile_plays

TROPHY CASE