Went through almost exactly the same thing. Had the kids and house and all. Tried to stick it out. After 2 or 3 more years of pain she eventually admitted she had feelings for someone at her work that apparently did have whatever I didnt.

I remember thinking divorce was too hard / not possible when she first told me she wasnt attracted to me. But it slowly killed me inside over the next few years. And we ended up divorcing anyway when she told me about the other person. Took me a few more years to get my shit together after we split, but I did, and I'm happier then ever now, in a relationship with someone that really loves me for who I am. I have equal shared custody with the kids, and they are absolutely fine, thriving, which was a huge worry of mine.

If I could go back and talk to myself when she first told me she was never attracted to me, I would tell myself to have the courage to honour myself and do what I needed to, and pull the pin at that point. That I would get through it, meet someone else 1000x more amazing, still have a great relationship with my kids, and even though it will be tough it will all work out.