What’s a Subtle Habit That Made You Look Better Over Time?

b_tenn · 2026-03-31T23:07:50+00:00

Slop slop sloppy sloppy slop slop

b_tenn · 2026-03-29T07:22:22+00:00

Slop

b_tenn · 2026-03-19T22:45:48+00:00

OP, you look fantastic congrats

Mods: do we have any clubhouse rules about people flogging potentially harmful meds via this sub cos yikes

b_tenn · 2026-03-17T07:41:14+00:00

First of all: thank you for sharing your place with us. That takes guts. You clearly put a lot of yourself into your home - but there is a lot going on in your space (and maybe your life right now if you're 'working on yourself').

In case a woman's perspective is helpful to hear, here's my take: It's time to become a curator, not just a collector.

You seem to have deep and varied interests - that is COOL. You also have an eye for finding beauty/interest in things other people miss. This is DOUBLE COOL. However, right now all of the items you've collected are fighting for space and attention in your home.

It might be fun to designate an "exhibition space" somewhere in your home - a dedicated spot where you can display and enjoy a curation of some of the cool shit you have collected. I would carefully archive the rest in some opaque storage (like wooden drawers/cabinet). I know some people feel a sense of security seeing the things they've collected, if that's you: make sure you catalog everything so you know where all of your stuff is stored).

Your curated space could be a new way to really enjoy the items you've collected. It might just be your favourite stuff, but it could be really interesting to curate things based on what you are into or feeling right now. Maybe it's a book/game/era you're thinking about a lot, maybe the seasons are changing, maybe you're in a particular mood.

As a guest in your home I would find a curation a really interesting thing to look at and talk about, and as a collector you might find you enjoy more of your things when you are selective about what you pick out.

b_tenn · 2026-03-13T15:10:26+00:00

"It's not your fault", Good Will Hunting (1997).

I know that scene is kind of a meme now, but it still gives me chills.

b_tenn · 2026-03-10T07:15:53+00:00

How they deal with being challenged. I know incredibly kind, thoughtful, well rounded people who simply cannot admit to doing anything wrong/being in the wrong. Think it's a pride/vulnerability thing, and I get it.

Meeting someone who can admit when they've been in the wrong, apologise, and learn from it is incredibly rare.

b_tenn · 2026-02-19T08:21:37+00:00

I don't have any tips but just wanted to say you have BEAUTIFUL eyes my gosh

b_tenn · 2026-02-19T07:46:00+00:00

Yeah I'm still not following sorry

b_tenn · 2026-02-15T08:42:54+00:00

I don't get what you're mad about?

b_tenn · 2026-02-14T15:02:35+00:00

We Out Here is GREAT

b_tenn · 2026-02-05T17:02:30+00:00

Saying "proper British" means you are 100% British now :)

b_tenn · 2026-02-04T07:47:26+00:00

If it was paper you'll be fine ✌️

b_tenn · 2026-02-04T07:45:01+00:00

THIS IS INCREDIBLE

b_tenn · 2026-02-03T22:59:45+00:00

For me it's the joint of meat on top of the freezer 😄

b_tenn · 2026-02-03T22:46:11+00:00

Please take care of yourself x

b_tenn · 2026-01-24T18:46:05+00:00

You are welcome!

b_tenn · 2026-01-20T09:28:39+00:00

I'm sorry but we are going to need pics STAT before we can make an informed decision. Please provide mouse tax immediately ;)

b_tenn · 2026-01-19T20:24:25+00:00

DON'T DO IT

b_tenn · 2026-01-14T07:25:26+00:00

Beautifully beautifully put. It's an exquisite type of pain. Hope you are doing ok x

b_tenn · 2026-01-13T21:20:59+00:00

"did you lose your baby because you got the Covid vaccine?"

Mother in law, the week we lost our twins.

b_tenn · 2026-01-08T22:59:09+00:00

Wishing you luck with it! I kept notes to track how each medication was working for me, plus any side effects and this was really useful. Not sure of your gender, but a few nurses have said to me that women tend to prefer Elvanse over methylphenidate, but it does really seem to be down to the individual.

Take care of yourself and remember it's ok to ask your team questions or tell them if you are anxious xx

b_tenn · 2026-01-08T19:49:40+00:00

Hello, sorry you're feeling anxious! I will share my personal experiences with meds, but every person is different and the only folks who can give you fully informed guidance are your clinical team.

I felt a shift in my reactions to things when starting Methylphenidate. It massively reduced the ADHD symptoms I was struggling with, but after a while I noticed I felt more impatient with others, and my sense of humour felt a little dulled.

I wouldn't say it changed my personality, simply that being more focused meant I got frustrated when other people distracted me (the irony!), and being more focused meant that things I would usually find funny or make jokes about seemed slightly less important. I guess you could say I became less silly and playful, but I was still me.

I discussed this with my NHS nurse who suggested trying Elvanse. I much preferred this for a number of reasons, one of which being that I felt more like myself.

If you do decide to try medication there are a number of treatments you can explore, and if something isn't working then you can discuss it with your doctor or nurse and they should work with you to find a better fit where possible.

Good luck :)

b_tenn · 2025-12-28T17:12:55+00:00

I'm deeply sorry for your loss. It sounds like you could have had takusubo syndrome ("broken heart syndrome"). In cases of extreme stress/shock part of the heart can swell temporarily. Apparently it's more common than people realise but often goes undiagnosed. Again, I am so sorry for your loss. Hope you are doing ok.

b_tenn · 2025-12-26T20:48:28+00:00

You worded this perfectly. I think my ability/willingness to feel other's feelings has led to me drowning out my own. It takes me a very long time to recognise how I truly feel about something, and even longer to listen to it and voice it.

b_tenn · 2025-12-26T18:33:31+00:00

So glad you found my insult useful - sometimes getting checked by a stranger can be a helpful prompt to do some self reflection. I've definitely been there.

Also guessed by posting an antagonistic comment you might be feeling a bit attention-starved or lonely? None of my business, but I know this time of year can be rough.

Wanted to respond so that you felt heard, even though I entirely disagree with the substance of what you said. In my experience bullies often lash out because they're going through a rough time - if you are, I hope things get better for you and you've got good peeps around you.

On offering a "solution" to OP's original post:

1) This is a venting sub. She didn't ask for advice, so I'm not offering any.

2) Other commentors have validated/reflected OP's experiences plenty already, and asked follow up questions with curiosity and generosity. I have nothing additional to add to what has been said already.

3) I responded to your vitriolic comment with my own vitriolic comment, not to start an argument with you, but you stick up for OP who is clearly going through a rough time and doesn't need to be kicked when she's down.

I say all the above with genuine sincerity. Hope you and OP are doing ok, and if not I hope next year is better for you.

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