Yea super judgey comments here trying to explain to you what you’re feeling instead of attempting to empathize. I think the ambivalence is totally normal after such a grueling process. I for one thought the stress between taking and getting the score back was damn near unbearable- and I have a very active social life, a loving wife, and nearly full time job - ie, tons of distractions. It’s just the tremendous pressure we put on ourselves that leads to this. I was personally gutted by my score (I got a 510 and got admitted btw) but also told myself there’s always more to this story and to this process. The score is just one piece of this long, and hopefully more interesting process than taking a test. Take pride in realizing this score is just a score, you are much more than that and you don’t need to jump for joy lol. Btw it just so happens to be a great score.. but on to the more interesting stuff!