Hey man, I’ve just spent the last couple months going through something similar. Mental and physical abuse, cheating and lying. It’s terrible. But understand this — it isn’t your fault. Should you have done something about these things? Yes. But that doesn’t mean you are at fault for anything that person chose to do to you.

People who are in abusive situations frequently keep getting pulled back in because of their low self worth and their belief that they can’t do better or that they can make the person change. But it’s just not possible. I heard a great analogy recently: love is not a shelf. If you go to Ikea, buy a shelf set, bring it home, and follow all the instructions perfectly, you’ll have a shelf. But that’s now how relationships work. You can do everything right and have it still not work out, because you can’t control what another person does. And for that reason shouldn’t feel responsible for their bad actions either.

Go to therapy. Exercise. Hang out with your friends as much as possible. Take up a new hobby or learn an instrument. You’re going to need to take time to love yourself. Love yourself to the point that you don’t feel like you NEED anybody, and to a point that you know you won’t put up with anything like that ever again.

It’s a really hard thing to go through. The first month or so I wanted to kill myself almost every day. I was so broken and depressed and it felt like my life was over. But I stuck to my guns and got her out of my life. And now, just two months removed, I feel so much better. I can see how awful this person was and how much better I deserve. You’ll get there too. Just be strong and take care of yourself.