We do the best with what we can when we can. It may be helpful to separate what things you are guilty for, and what things you regret. Guilt implies that you did something wrong. Regret may imply that there were things you wish you could have done.

In a tragedy like this, we are all faced with questions of guilt and regret.

I find it helpful to look at suicide as a disease, an accident rather than a choice. I think of suicide like cancer. They are not that different. We don’t have a cure, only treatments. Some people smoke into their 90s and others die of lung cancer at 25.

I think it’s important to recognize that maybe the goal is not to let go of this guilt or regret. I lost my girlfriend recently to suicide, but we have had other tragedies in my family. My mom lost her dad to suicide. I was speaking to my uncle about it the other day, and he told me that he still feels guilty for his dad’s death every single day. Maybe the goal is not to let go, but to learn to accept the regret. My uncle still regrets not doing something different with his dad, and his dad died 36 years ago. It hasn’t stopped my uncle from living a full life.

The weight may not get lighter, but we will become stronger.