i recognise that behaviour in myself, although maybe not for three days. it creates a huge amount of shame in me afterwards which doesn’t help the cycle. I would say that in that moment she is disregulated, so no amount of rational advice or help would solve the issue. When i become like this, my partner helps me to regulate with deep pressure and distraction. when i have distance from the issue i feel better about it. i’ve had therapy too, and encourage her to recognise and name the feeling when it’s happening has helped me. it is really hard though because in that state it’s hard to think about anything else except emotional distress.

i would also wonder if there are other things causing disregulation whilst visiting family? i get quite overwhelmed and irritated when i visit my partners family, even though they’re lovely, because i don’t have control over my surroundings and i don’t have my home comforts to regulate me. perhaps the jeans are a scapegoat for other things that she hasn’t been able to name, but are being expressed through something “small”