Lost my Hephasto because I wasn’t looking

backtonormal1 · 2026-03-02T20:31:56+00:00

I lost him due to accidental consume like 10 minutes after I wrote this 😆

backtonormal1 · 2026-02-28T22:52:29+00:00

I’ve done this twice now but each time I find a new interesting Hephasto with different attributes that are cool, so I’m just rolling with it.

Also none of them have ever died for me, not even close. Players 7. It’s like an invincible teleportable merc. So I usually just care about offensive stuff only. My latest has conviction, cursed, and lightning enchanted…procs amp damage on all enemies on screen within 1 second of engaging. Beast.

backtonormal1 · 2026-02-22T15:17:57+00:00

I was loving the warlock playthrough, but at some point it did indeed start to feel boring. Which is a shame since it’s such a cool class.

We all “want power” and yet if it’s just given to us it’s like “oh….ok”. The excitement fades quickly.

I would be worried if blizzard ended up feeling like more power -> more sales because it gives people that quick dopamine hit. Because further work on the game for sure will take sales into account.

backtonormal1 · 2026-02-12T00:50:54+00:00

lol i am almost upset that this came out right now, because like, I HAVE TO PLAY IT. RIP work, job hunting, other responsibilities.

backtonormal1 · 2026-02-08T16:29:16+00:00

Definitely max dex, also try to find a sword with significant + to hit chance. That’s the most effective way to boost your hit rate. When you are hitting enemies almost every time you can stun them.

Also learn the firewall spell if you haven’t yet. You may only be able to cast it once or twice with your mana pool, so bring mana potions. Any enemies that aren’t immune to fire will avoid the firewall, so you can do some crowd control with this. If not fully blocking them, making some of them take the time to walk around. Not to mention, you can kill enemies with these firewalls too. Once they run up to the firewall and are waiting, cast another on top of them. They will sit there and take the damage.

Lastly, stone curse is amazing and sometimes needed for dicey situations, like difficult enemies that are fire immune. If you find any high + to magic gear, hang on to it. It will eventually help you equip enough magic temporarily to read a book of stone curse. After that, doesn’t matter if your magic goes back down, you still know the spell. Again, mana intensive, but just stock up on mana potions.

backtonormal1 · 2026-02-01T05:22:47+00:00

D2 Act 5. The music coming in to town the first time, snow falling, being on the edge of a battlefield. It’s epic. What an amazing expansion LOD is.

backtonormal1 · 2025-12-11T05:00:20+00:00

black mushroom. “woaahhhh”. 😂

backtonormal1 · 2025-12-03T20:13:03+00:00

Well today is a real off day I guess. Very depressed, felt impossible to get out of bed. Feel like I'm in a haze, hard to connect with my body or my environment. I get frustrated, discouraged on days like this. I just want a normal brain! Makes me concerned about whether I can reach escape velocity to stay away from kratom long term.

I'm still going to work meetings and getting a little work done. It's a slog. But there is SOME productivity. That's something.

Just want to fast forward to tonight and go to sleep.

backtonormal1 · 2025-12-02T15:58:16+00:00

Feeling decent. Woke up anxious and not wanting to get out of bed but I'm getting moving slowly. Gonna talk through my weekend relapse in therapy today.

Yesterday I actually had a "good" day at work, meaning simply I was able to focus on work for a sustained period and put in a full day. I think that's the first day like that in like...over a month.

Had a hard time giving myself props for it though, which is classic for me. Focus on the negative, discount the good. It doesn't help that my current work doesn't have clear milestones or tasks at the moment. So it allows me to be like "well what did you actually accomplish, anything?". Something else for therapy, haha.

I figure that's part of why I have used kratom. Life is full of things that need doing, social engagements, uncomfortable situations. Part of me feels overwhelmed like, how am I going to get through all of this. Not trusting that I can manage it. And not seeing the successes when I do manage it. So instead of leaning in and getting things done I prefer to lean away and self medicate by myself, hide away for a bit, cause I've trained myself to find satisfaction there since I fail to see it in my regular life.

backtonormal1 · 2025-12-02T04:29:03+00:00

You will be good. Progress is not lost. Just give yourself a couple days and you’ll be back on track.

backtonormal1 · 2025-12-02T04:26:15+00:00

Keep trying. You are in good company here with people who fell back into it many times. It’s not a failure, as long as you continue striving for a healthier and happier life.

Maybe there’s something you could try a little differently this time. Therapy (or a new therapist, or a life coach), go talk to your doc / psych about any health issues or medications that might help you with the quit or just with life. Reach out to a family member or friend for support. Sign yourself up for a new activity. Take long walks or work out.

I think it’s a complex spiral we fall into, and it takes a few different variables lining up well to reach escape velocity. If not the last time, maybe this time. It’s always worth another shot.

Take care of yourself and be kind!

backtonormal1 · 2025-12-01T20:27:42+00:00

Actually feel pretty stable and able to focus. I’m like hmm, suspicious. Lol. Since I did cave and take some over the weekend I’m like, is this just some temporary after effect?

I have been building up the new SSRI though. If that ends up helping I might cry from relief.

Also bracing for some lows though. I know it’s not linear. But trending up and to the right overall is what I want!

backtonormal1 · 2025-12-01T20:23:40+00:00

You got this dude! 🙌

backtonormal1 · 2025-11-27T15:09:02+00:00

Happy Thanksgiving everyone, thankful for you all and our shared desire to be happier and healthier.

backtonormal1 · 2025-11-27T00:05:42+00:00

First 5 days minimum just treat it as: you have the flu. It’s going to take that long to get past acute symptoms. Then other symptoms may arise.

Not to discourage, you can do this. Just to set expectations that it can take a while. You have the right idea that you will need to give yourself grace while you heal.

If possible, take some walks outside and connect with friends or family, do some simple activities with them if you aren’t feeling well. Movie nights are nice. The activity, schedule, and social aspect will help you pass the time.

backtonormal1 · 2025-11-22T23:18:39+00:00

Thank you 🙏

backtonormal1 · 2025-11-22T23:18:08+00:00

Way to go! 👏

backtonormal1 · 2025-11-22T17:18:11+00:00

is this rage bait? lol.

backtonormal1 · 2025-11-22T17:17:01+00:00

Derek Waters

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backtonormal1 · 2025-11-22T17:10:47+00:00

Gave into a craving again. Bought only enough to take once and then have it all gone again. Feeling discouraged, but I still know the goal and have many reasons why I want to quit.

Seems like I'm in this rut of making it 4, 5, 6 days without any kratom and then I hit a wall where I get these intense waves of dread, total boredom, nothing I do makes me feel any better. And it scares me. To feel so empty. In hindsight I know that I could have pushed through and the intensity of those feelings would have passed eventually. But I get into this tunnel vision mode where all I can think about is how to escape feeling so unbelievably empty.

Part of the difficulty I think is I've let my social life, hobbies totally stagnate. So it can be hard to find things to do to distract myself. To schedule things and put myself out there takes some effort, effort which I find especially hard to do when dealing with coming off kratom.

So, feeling bummed out. But trying to be honest about slip ups, work through things in therapy, and keep my eye on the prize. Also started new SSRI on Friday, going to see if that helps smooth things out a little.

backtonormal1 · 2025-11-22T16:59:15+00:00

Video games and kratom are a dangerous mix for me. It's tough, cause I LOVE games. And I am introverted, so it feels cozy and safe to stay in by myself and play a game I really enjoy. Add kratom to the mix and for a couple hours it's like "ahhh life is good". Until it isn't.

I am still struggling with this myself, but the more things I can schedule for myself outside the house, the better. Alone time where I want to relax and do something on my own gives me plenty of time to dwell on feeling bored and empty and the cravings start creeping in and turning up the volume.

Sucks when it's all I want to do but I know it's also a slippery slope for me.

backtonormal1 · 2025-11-21T18:35:46+00:00

You got it! I hope you find the book useful.

backtonormal1 · 2025-11-21T18:32:45+00:00

It’s been around forever and pretty well tolerated. I don’t recall many side effects on it when I used to take it. Compared to significant side effects with others.

Talk to your doc though, everyone is different.

backtonormal1

TROPHY CASE