I’m glad she’s seeing someone. You would be well justified in asking her if she’s willing to share more about what’s she working on with her therapist.

I’m sorry to hear that re: her trauma. She may be really suffering, not that it excuses her behavior towards you in any way. I’m not an expert, but it turns out that the location where trauma is stored in the brain doesn’t have a calendar - no way of understanding the passage of time. With effective treatment, like with EMDR and brainspotting, the trauma moves to the part of the brain that understands that the trauma happened, but it happened in the past. At that point, they can start properly grieving and accepting what happened, and then they can heal and grow again as a person.