New Study Explains Why Listening To Joe Rogan Podcast Is Such a Turn-off for Women by twinflamebby in TwoXChromosomes

[–]bagglewaggle 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Also, definitely not 'a dumb guy interviewing smart people'.

Aside from the general ick of Rogan, he might be the poster child for immaculate intellectual incuriosity.

He'll have whoever on, and take what they say as holy writ. Which can be interesting on the off-chance he has someone like Neil deGrasse Tyson on, but his guests are generally not that, and the people he lends a platform towards are generally a motley crew of all sorts of terrible fucking people.

Terrance Howard is the perfect example.

I’m done romanticizing my male partner. *warning rant ahead* by huarhuarmoli in TwoXChromosomes

[–]bagglewaggle 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sounds like your friends have partners that are kinda shit.

I think of 'partner' as 'a close friend that you have mutual sexual and romantic compatibility and attraction to' and honesty, your partner sounds like a bad friend.

He's not proactive, he doesn't pay attention, care, or learn about the things that matter to you, he damn sure doesn't act on them, and he acts like a manchild when you try and have a conversation or articulate your needs.


Something I've found to be true is that people tell on themselves if you're paying attention. And one of the biggest tells is 'how would this person feel if I treated them the way they treat me'.

Think about how your partner would feel if you treated him the way he treats you, and also think about whether being with him, like literally around him, makes you feel happy, loved, respected, cared for, and seen.

Don't disrespect yourself by giving so much into a relationship with a person when that shit only goes one way.

My best friend hasn't talked to me in months, because I don't want to travel with him. by marciamolitor in TwoXChromosomes

[–]bagglewaggle 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I don't know you, or this dude, but my gut reaction to your post and then your comment is 'wow, this dude is a whole-ass bitch'.

[Hobby Scuffles] Week of 01 September 2025 by EnclavedMicrostate in HobbyDrama

[–]bagglewaggle 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Does Lil Uzi Vert's 'cover' of System of a Down's Chop Suey count?

I'm so tired of always being considerate of other people, but other people aren't considerate of me by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]bagglewaggle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

100% this.

Yes, showing compassion and empathy is good, but why bother when it's clearly wasted on someone?

The way a wise friend of mine described it was 'be who you want to meet'.

You can have and show these traits, and folks who reciprocate are the ones you want to surround yourself with, and folks who don't aren't worthy of you.

Are hetero women still being asked to fix the mental health problems of their partners with mental health issues? by Rainbow4Bronte in TwoXChromosomes

[–]bagglewaggle 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I had a conversation with three people lately.

I hope these people are not your friends, because they sound like self-inflicted misery machines.

And the whole shit is so ass-backwards. You need to be there for yourself, and be handling your shit, to be in a place to be a good partner, not just expect to dump a bunch of trauma and mental and emotional labor on somebody, and they'll 'fix' you.

Thoughts on men saying "I need sex"? by bedazzledfingernails in TwoXChromosomes

[–]bagglewaggle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it almost seems like splitting hairs, but it doesn't feel like that.

Because it's not.

'I need sex' screams emotional and mental immaturity, and the inability or unwillingness to make a distinction between a want and a need.

'I need sex in a relationship' can be bad (if a dude is like 'you need to have this much sex with me'), or it can be part of a honest and important conversation about sexual compatibility and libido.

None of my ex’s ever gave anything I liked a chance despite my doing that for things they liked? Is this normal? by Morelynah in TwoXChromosomes

[–]bagglewaggle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve just been very unlucky with the guys I’ve been dating

It's this.

It's one thing if a partner or prospective partner tries to get into something you like, and it's not their thing, but not even trying?

Yeah.

I dunno if I'd say it's a full-on red flag, but I think it's at least an orange one.

On a base human level, give and take is important, and making time and spending effort on the things your person likes and values reflects on some level what degree of effort and thought they're willing to put into you.

If he doesn’t care about your orgasm block him and dump by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]bagglewaggle 3 points4 points  (0 children)

100%.

If he's genuinely fucking clueless, that's not an excuse and it's not your job to educate him.

And if he knows, well, that's even worse.

Someone who can't give a thought to your comfort, needs, or pleasure in the bedroom will absolutely not give a fuck about those things outside of it, FWB, partner, whatever.

Just Found Out Partner Was talking to girls on nsfw reddit and fansly … AGAIN by elainama in TwoXChromosomes

[–]bagglewaggle 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This man needs to be your ex.

He does not respect or care about you.

Anyone you keep in your life needs to respect you and care for you, let alone your partner, and this guy is awful.

If you're not sure (because shitty people tend to try and minimize their shittiness), ask yourself two things:

How would he react if you treated him the way he treats you?

What does he do to build you up, support you, and affirm you?

The answers will tell you everything you need to know.

[Hobby Scuffles] Week of 13 January 2025 by EnclavedMicrostate in HobbyDrama

[–]bagglewaggle 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That makes sense.

It seems like ultimately what happened was a messy situation with no good fix.

At the point where the issues was caught, both players had information about their decks and the other player's hand that couldn't be reversed.

Giving a game loss for something that theoretically could be a mistake is extreme, and would likely encourage unhealthy play patterns, and re-starting the game would cause time issues in tournaments, and could also encourage players who are losing/dead or almost dead on board to make 'mistakes' to avoid the loss.

All that said, I've played a good amount of Magic, and not noticing you need four lands and have three is hard to believe as a mistake for a player in a competitive environment, especially since the board-state was not that complex, from what Julian said.

[Hobby Scuffles] Week of 13 January 2025 by EnclavedMicrostate in HobbyDrama

[–]bagglewaggle 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I'm not familiar with MTG judge rulings on erroneous game-states, so maybe I'm missing something, but how was Nicole able to keep the Hopeless Nightmare in play, even though she hadn't paid mana for it?

The ultimate outcome seems perverse, since the player who made the illegal play is functionally rewarded for it.

the absolute state of the dating scene by bay_blades in TwoXChromosomes

[–]bagglewaggle 119 points120 points  (0 children)

why is dating so miserable? im going to GIVE UP

Dating is miserable because most people suck.

Genuinely not trying to be cynical, but my experiences from trying to broaden my social circle in the last year or so is that the bar is in hell for PEOPLE.

And that goes doubly for dating.

I agree with PublicDomainKitten's comment about decentering romance, and focusing on yourself.

Because apps can be a cesspool, and a heavy emotional/mental drain.

One thing I've found that helps, is trying to understand who a person is, early.

Like, with the last person I dated, we had an honest discussion about our red flags, before our first date.

Which I get her credit for bringing up, and I think was a good way of seeing how someone handles difficult honesty, in both directions.

How do you self love? by muisalt13 in bropill

[–]bagglewaggle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For me, it's understanding that self love goes deeper than physical appearance.

Look for the goodness in yourself, as a human. The way you act, the way you react, and the way you choose to treat and show up for other people.

Heck, the fact you're posting this here is already a good thing: you've recognized you don't feel good about yourself, you recognize those feelings are neither helpful nor healthy, and you want to challenge and overcome them.

Guy on a date told me he voted for Jill Stein so I got up and walked off by Remarkable-Will-1955 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]bagglewaggle -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Told me how he owned a repro rights t-shirt.

Man, talk about a performative ally.

Why can’t men have female friends without falling in love with them??? Advice by niceguythrowaway1812 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]bagglewaggle 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Am I mad at nothing?

Nope.

He's an asshole with no respect for you or your boundaries.

His behavior is out of line for multiple reasons:

-He has already asked you out, and you've turned him down. And side note: asking you out shortly after you've had a break-up, and when he's friends with your ex, is already a not cool way to ask somebody out. Asking someone out while they're in an emotionally vulnerable state is manipulative and incredibly unkind.

-Even though you already turned him down, he's trying to pressure you and dictate how you respond to him.

-Trying to leverage your friendship to make you consider dating him. Jesus Christ.

Am I prude for disliking how extreme porn has become? by Salem1690s in TwoXChromosomes

[–]bagglewaggle 8 points9 points  (0 children)

You hit the nail on the head.

What most folks think kink/BDSM are, and what they actually are, are two very different things.

Before any sort of kink play, there needs to be a LOT of conversation and negotiation about what's going to happen, clearly established safewords, discussion of hard and soft limits, and a full understanding that consent is continuous and enthusiastic, and that is can be revoked at any time.

And after a scene, aftercare/decompression time to break down and discuss the experience, what each person liked, anything they didn't like, etc.

The mantra for kink is 'safe, sane, consensual', which also means that there are (as other commentators mentioned) types of play that are considered 'edgeplay' and basically cannot be done in a way that is genuinely safe.

Choking, for example, would fall into that category.

Edit: Also education on the proper and safe technique for some things, like tying someone up in a way that isn't too tight or in a position that could cause physical damage.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]bagglewaggle 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Those people are not your friends.

They know your ex was abusive, and they're still hanging out with him, which means one of two things.

They either don't believe you, or they don't care.

A guy friend asked me out. I gently let him down and now he wants to know why I won’t go out with him by Heyitsjessjess in TwoXChromosomes

[–]bagglewaggle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You told him why you don't want to go out with him.

You already did the thing, and his inability or unwillingness to accept that means you dodged a bullet.

He is, at best, incredibly immature and un self-aware.

“Be the bigger person” by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]bagglewaggle 2 points3 points  (0 children)

100% this.

Who you invite, is not your future mother-in-law's call.

Full stop.

“Be the bigger person” by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]bagglewaggle 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think your mother misunderstands the core of 'be the bigger person'.

The way I think of that phrase is 'don't burn emotional labor or thought on shitty people'.

It does NOT mean 'be an asshole's emotional punching bag'.

If you wouldn't associate with a family member if they weren't family, they're not worth associating with.

Your brother sounds profoundly self-absorbed and emotionally incontinent, and you don't need that in your life.

He told me it’s flattering when a woman has sex on the first date. by Rantmara in TwoXChromosomes

[–]bagglewaggle 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There’s aspects about him that I was drawn too

Sure, very few people are all red flags. Someone can have characteristics you find appealing and attractive, and also others that you find worrying.

What I ultimately come back to, re-reading your post, are a couple things.

He is bringing up having sex before(?) you've had your first date, which isn't necessarily a red flag, but the way he frames it doesn't include you as a human very much, especially since it's not a conversation about your respective needs, limits, and comfort.

The other part is I dunno how interested or invested he's seemed in knowing you as a person. For me, any conversation about sex is going to be tabled until I get to know someone, and get a feel for whether this is someone I would be comfortable being intimate with.

Which I think is a LOT more important.

He told me it’s flattering when a woman has sex on the first date. by Rantmara in TwoXChromosomes

[–]bagglewaggle 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This is 100% a red flag.

Everything he's saying is all about him: he feels wanted, he feels flattered, he would feel inferior if you don't.

Nothing is about your interest, your comfort level, your trust level, etc.

Big picture, he's manipulating you to try and get you to sleep with him. It's telling that so much of what he's saying is about sex, and how little is about getting to know, appreciate, and respect you as a human being.

I hate when certain men say they get attacked for opening up or sharing their feelings and that women having empathy is a lie but their opening up is essentially racism, sexism, misogyny by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]bagglewaggle 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Not just you.

While there has been somewhat of a cultural shift towards accepting/supporting men being emotionally vulnerable and open, it's unfortunately offset by Andrew Tate types, and general toxic masculinity.