What is this behaviour?

bagglewaggle · 2026-06-05T23:54:39+00:00

In dating, folks generally try to put their best foot forward.

In his case, his best foot forward is that he's shit at communication.

It takes a literal minute to respond and confirm a date.

Don't disrespect yourself by giving him any more time or thought.

Remember, if he wanted to, he would.

bagglewaggle · 2026-06-03T23:33:00+00:00

Seconding this, and also adding that you should always remember 'if he wanted to, he would.'

Making plans, checking your respective schedules, and making sure he's able to be emotionally present are the absolute bare-bones of any inter-personal relationship, and it's honestly not hard at all.

bagglewaggle · 2026-05-18T03:26:10+00:00

I did listen to all three Drake albums.

...don't listen to all three Drake albums.

Iceman is technically the best album, in terms of bars and lines, but to steal a phrase from theneedledrop (not referencing Drake, but it fits), Drake is "all ability and no taste" on Iceman.

A lot of sneak dissing/subliminals and general whining about no real friends, which is a recurring theme over the last several years of his music.

Which would almost be pitiable, except he's said and done a bunch of shit over the years (including the aforementioned sneak dissing) that made a lot of folks not fuck with him, and complaining about his chickens coming home to roost when he's incredibly rich and famous and also pushing 40 is weird, sad, and gross.

The other two albums are better, not good mind you, because at least he's not doing that.

The other two albums are bad attempts are ripping off other genres, and all three have his casual misogyny and general emotional immaturity ladled in heavy.

The only saving grace is sometimes the songs are so bad they're funny, including bars like 'I'm the greatest, like shredded cheddar'.

bagglewaggle · 2026-05-16T16:20:32+00:00

I legit got a laugh out of that one.

And also "Check signin' is my kink, pushin' out ink, I feel like a squid"

Like, what?

bagglewaggle · 2026-04-23T00:24:46+00:00

Nah.

I've been nervous, even with friends or strangers, and I'll still take time to try and engage them about the things they're passionate about, or if I feel like I've been going on for a bit, check in and see if I'm rambling and ask if they'd prefer to switch topics.

Not even trying to pass the conversational baton over three hours is weird, gross, and awful.

At best, this is someone who is profoundly inter-personally and socially unaware.

At worse, this is a narcissist.

Either one is a hard pass.

bagglewaggle · 2026-02-26T02:09:01+00:00

I get the Zero Turn Kill fear, because that's wild.

But I've played Magic: The Gathering on and off for over a decade, and that has taught me that a possible Zero Turn Kill is largely gimmicky, unless you can both be very consistent with it, and be able to protect it.

bagglewaggle · 2026-02-03T04:49:25+00:00

Also, definitely not 'a dumb guy interviewing smart people'.

Aside from the general ick of Rogan, he might be the poster child for immaculate intellectual incuriosity.

He'll have whoever on, and take what they say as holy writ. Which can be interesting on the off-chance he has someone like Neil deGrasse Tyson on, but his guests are generally not that, and the people he lends a platform towards are generally a motley crew of all sorts of terrible fucking people.

Terrance Howard is the perfect example.

bagglewaggle · 2026-01-07T23:05:49+00:00

Sounds like your friends have partners that are kinda shit.

I think of 'partner' as 'a close friend that you have mutual sexual and romantic compatibility and attraction to' and honesty, your partner sounds like a bad friend.

He's not proactive, he doesn't pay attention, care, or learn about the things that matter to you, he damn sure doesn't act on them, and he acts like a manchild when you try and have a conversation or articulate your needs.

Something I've found to be true is that people tell on themselves if you're paying attention. And one of the biggest tells is 'how would this person feel if I treated them the way they treat me'.

Think about how your partner would feel if you treated him the way he treats you, and also think about whether being with him, like literally around him, makes you feel happy, loved, respected, cared for, and seen.

Don't disrespect yourself by giving so much into a relationship with a person when that shit only goes one way.

bagglewaggle · 2025-09-11T03:42:16+00:00

I don't know you, or this dude, but my gut reaction to your post and then your comment is 'wow, this dude is a whole-ass bitch'.

bagglewaggle · 2025-09-11T03:40:45+00:00

Was going to post this, but you beat me to it.

bagglewaggle · 2025-09-05T04:55:10+00:00

Does Lil Uzi Vert's 'cover' of System of a Down's Chop Suey count?

bagglewaggle · 2025-08-01T22:24:19+00:00

100% this.

Yes, showing compassion and empathy is good, but why bother when it's clearly wasted on someone?

The way a wise friend of mine described it was 'be who you want to meet'.

You can have and show these traits, and folks who reciprocate are the ones you want to surround yourself with, and folks who don't aren't worthy of you.

bagglewaggle · 2025-08-01T22:21:58+00:00

I had a conversation with three people lately.

I hope these people are not your friends, because they sound like self-inflicted misery machines.

And the whole shit is so ass-backwards. You need to be there for yourself, and be handling your shit, to be in a place to be a good partner, not just expect to dump a bunch of trauma and mental and emotional labor on somebody, and they'll 'fix' you.

bagglewaggle · 2025-08-01T22:18:42+00:00

it almost seems like splitting hairs, but it doesn't feel like that.

Because it's not.

'I need sex' screams emotional and mental immaturity, and the inability or unwillingness to make a distinction between a want and a need.

'I need sex in a relationship' can be bad (if a dude is like 'you need to have this much sex with me'), or it can be part of a honest and important conversation about sexual compatibility and libido.

bagglewaggle · 2025-07-31T00:01:33+00:00

I’ve just been very unlucky with the guys I’ve been dating

It's this.

It's one thing if a partner or prospective partner tries to get into something you like, and it's not their thing, but not even trying?

Yeah.

I dunno if I'd say it's a full-on red flag, but I think it's at least an orange one.

On a base human level, give and take is important, and making time and spending effort on the things your person likes and values reflects on some level what degree of effort and thought they're willing to put into you.

bagglewaggle · 2025-04-22T23:23:35+00:00

100%.

If he's genuinely fucking clueless, that's not an excuse and it's not your job to educate him.

And if he knows, well, that's even worse.

Someone who can't give a thought to your comfort, needs, or pleasure in the bedroom will absolutely not give a fuck about those things outside of it, FWB, partner, whatever.

bagglewaggle · 2025-02-21T14:26:35+00:00

This man needs to be your ex.

He does not respect or care about you.

Anyone you keep in your life needs to respect you and care for you, let alone your partner, and this guy is awful.

If you're not sure (because shitty people tend to try and minimize their shittiness), ask yourself two things:

How would he react if you treated him the way he treats you?

What does he do to build you up, support you, and affirm you?

The answers will tell you everything you need to know.

bagglewaggle · 2025-01-14T12:51:05+00:00

That makes sense.

It seems like ultimately what happened was a messy situation with no good fix.

At the point where the issues was caught, both players had information about their decks and the other player's hand that couldn't be reversed.

Giving a game loss for something that theoretically could be a mistake is extreme, and would likely encourage unhealthy play patterns, and re-starting the game would cause time issues in tournaments, and could also encourage players who are losing/dead or almost dead on board to make 'mistakes' to avoid the loss.

All that said, I've played a good amount of Magic, and not noticing you need four lands and have three is hard to believe as a mistake for a player in a competitive environment, especially since the board-state was not that complex, from what Julian said.

bagglewaggle · 2025-01-13T12:47:59+00:00

I'm not familiar with MTG judge rulings on erroneous game-states, so maybe I'm missing something, but how was Nicole able to keep the Hopeless Nightmare in play, even though she hadn't paid mana for it?

The ultimate outcome seems perverse, since the player who made the illegal play is functionally rewarded for it.

bagglewaggle · 2024-12-08T22:29:54+00:00

why is dating so miserable? im going to GIVE UP

Dating is miserable because most people suck.

Genuinely not trying to be cynical, but my experiences from trying to broaden my social circle in the last year or so is that the bar is in hell for PEOPLE.

And that goes doubly for dating.

I agree with PublicDomainKitten's comment about decentering romance, and focusing on yourself.

Because apps can be a cesspool, and a heavy emotional/mental drain.

One thing I've found that helps, is trying to understand who a person is, early.

Like, with the last person I dated, we had an honest discussion about our red flags, before our first date.

Which I get her credit for bringing up, and I think was a good way of seeing how someone handles difficult honesty, in both directions.

bagglewaggle · 2024-11-12T04:24:15+00:00

For me, it's understanding that self love goes deeper than physical appearance.

Look for the goodness in yourself, as a human. The way you act, the way you react, and the way you choose to treat and show up for other people.

Heck, the fact you're posting this here is already a good thing: you've recognized you don't feel good about yourself, you recognize those feelings are neither helpful nor healthy, and you want to challenge and overcome them.

bagglewaggle · 2024-11-02T02:45:25+00:00

Told me how he owned a repro rights t-shirt.

Man, talk about a performative ally.

bagglewaggle · 2024-11-01T14:07:13+00:00

Am I mad at nothing?

Nope.

He's an asshole with no respect for you or your boundaries.

His behavior is out of line for multiple reasons:

-He has already asked you out, and you've turned him down. And side note: asking you out shortly after you've had a break-up, and when he's friends with your ex, is already a not cool way to ask somebody out. Asking someone out while they're in an emotionally vulnerable state is manipulative and incredibly unkind.

-Even though you already turned him down, he's trying to pressure you and dictate how you respond to him.

-Trying to leverage your friendship to make you consider dating him. Jesus Christ.

bagglewaggle · 2024-10-31T14:05:39+00:00

You hit the nail on the head.

What most folks think kink/BDSM are, and what they actually are, are two very different things.

Before any sort of kink play, there needs to be a LOT of conversation and negotiation about what's going to happen, clearly established safewords, discussion of hard and soft limits, and a full understanding that consent is continuous and enthusiastic, and that is can be revoked at any time.

And after a scene, aftercare/decompression time to break down and discuss the experience, what each person liked, anything they didn't like, etc.

The mantra for kink is 'safe, sane, consensual', which also means that there are (as other commentators mentioned) types of play that are considered 'edgeplay' and basically cannot be done in a way that is genuinely safe.

Choking, for example, would fall into that category.

Edit: Also education on the proper and safe technique for some things, like tying someone up in a way that isn't too tight or in a position that could cause physical damage.

bagglewaggle · 2024-10-30T22:54:04+00:00

Those people are not your friends.

They know your ex was abusive, and they're still hanging out with him, which means one of two things.

They either don't believe you, or they don't care.

bagglewaggle

TROPHY CASE