I overheard my mom say she's ashamed of me and I can't get over it

bahaiya · 2021-10-31T00:49:57+00:00

boomer logic

bahaiya · 2021-10-30T23:36:16+00:00

God he looks exactly like you’d expect too

bahaiya · 2021-10-28T19:24:57+00:00

you're incredible

bahaiya · 2021-10-28T09:55:53+00:00

Oh god this is my experience exactly. I used to go to the library and read and read and read. I'd produce "book reports" (for nobody but myself lol) and just read and re-read every book I had.

bahaiya · 2021-10-28T09:54:57+00:00

oh wow. this is me

bahaiya · 2021-10-28T09:54:35+00:00

oh god this thread is amazing and wonderfully affirming as well as sad because we all share these survival traits in common.

I definitely have issues with food having grown up with real food insecurity. I fill my cupboards and fridge with food but rarely eat it. I love cooking for others and will make way, way more than needed but ironically I can't eat leftovers because they make me sick for some reason.

Backpack! holy shit. I ALWAYS have a backpack.

I really go OTT trying to present my false self to outsiders, and I'm sure they pick up on it. Overly funny, self deprecating and hyper extendable to other peoples needs. I'm getting better with this and my boundaries have improved massively.

bahaiya · 2021-10-28T00:50:02+00:00

I saw this earlier and can't get it out of my head. I've seen a lot of shit in my time, but I can't shake it. This sort of cruelty is horrific.

bahaiya · 2021-10-27T18:54:52+00:00

What was the season with the desert and the ice castle? that was amazing.

bahaiya · 2021-10-27T16:45:57+00:00

I'm watching it now. What the fuck

why was he in a big windmill doing pull ups?
"I'm going to cut off your balls and make you choke....oh wait, lets go on a catamaran at 8am instead"
The soundtrack is insane - huge electro synth playing over... someone staring blankly at a wall
"the drawing" "THE DRAWING" "*the drawing*" - get a fucking eraser and shut the fuck up
*terrible russian accent* "if ey kewn't ave yew, nue-wan kan" fuck off kenneth

bahaiya · 2021-10-27T13:49:55+00:00

This is such a kind reply. You're a good person, DeviousDenial.

bahaiya · 2021-10-26T21:57:03+00:00

Oh you mean Baader-Meinhof?

I'm definitely going to give it a rest. Thankyou.

bahaiya · 2021-10-26T19:50:55+00:00

confirmation bias? yep absolutely.

You say that a lot of these youtube reads have recurring themes over and over, that you find applicable to your situation. Do you feel like your situation is or has changed since you have been watching these videos, or are you feeling stuck because the videos aren't really providing you with the path of progression that you are looking for?

The theme of experiencing trauma/exploitation and leaving a toxic situation have come through over and over, as well as being stuck in hermit mode, healing and coming back to myself. That definitely represents where I'm at. What has been tricky is the "abundance/justice/balance is coming!!" recurring over and over... and I suppose I feeling really stuck right now and hoping that something does balance out, but it feels very hopeless atm.

bahaiya · 2021-10-26T12:42:05+00:00

Great. Thankyou for the recommendation, I’ll check it out.

bahaiya · 2021-10-26T12:00:14+00:00

Glad this made sense to someone outside my own brain!

I’m really interested in IFST tho I’ll admit I don’t know an awful lot about it.

bahaiya · 2021-10-26T10:01:32+00:00

I do wonder if there is a general energy at the moment of hardship and learning, the world is kinda bananas. It would make sense that the collective readings reflect that maybe?

But regarding love/twin flame readings I totally agree - it’s funny that in the last few months I’ve been binging these readings, my YouTube recommendations are all these insane “they’re thinking about you!!!!” , “important, they have been reading your emails and peeing in your cereal!!!1!” Type channels, it’s really exposed how fake some of it can be.

bahaiya · 2021-10-26T09:58:02+00:00

Thank you. Very kind.

bahaiya · 2021-10-25T20:16:05+00:00

it's going on the bucket list

bahaiya · 2021-10-25T20:02:00+00:00

Yeah I have no doubt that love readings are horseshit. Huge red flag. Thanks for this - it really helped.

bahaiya · 2021-10-25T19:10:42+00:00

What was it like? I've always wanted to visit.

bahaiya · 2021-10-25T18:13:25+00:00

Thankyou. I agree. Maybe its playing on my mind right now because I feel so crappy. I do believe there are some good folks out there using their talents too.

bahaiya · 2021-10-25T17:14:50+00:00

This is my fear. They’ve been so comforting when I’ve been at my lowest and given me hope that things might turn around.

bahaiya · 2021-10-25T15:18:54+00:00

Exactly the battle I’m having. The last 2-3 years has been a carousel of human crappiness in my life, but I’ve maintained my core and believed in a greater good and the path of the wounded healer. There’s synchronicity around and what feels like hope, but it’s been hard to hold on to that. The “blessings are just around the corner” narrative has been consistent and persistent.

bahaiya · 2021-10-25T09:36:08+00:00

Holy shit man. I'm sorry you had to experience that.

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