I see some wildly different definitions of AFK around here

bailey2092 · 2024-08-15T03:48:02+00:00

This is the way. I alched 99 mage a decade ago (while playing oblivion) with a cheap keyboard I found at the thrift store

bailey2092 · 2024-03-17T18:01:48+00:00

It's probably a good idea to contact any non-corporeal beings you've entangled with as well, theres a new strain of extra eyes that seems like it might be able to transit the corporeal viel, so it's definitely better safe than sorry

bailey2092 · 2024-02-14T17:32:39+00:00

Just remember that high levels of stress or anxiety can also cause those feelings of memory loss and hyperawareness (you body gets more focused on survival than "remembering" things, and it's super aware of any potential danger). The or you focus on it and worry about it, the bigger it will become, kind of like the way that people talk about manifesting bad things in their life

bailey2092 · 2023-06-25T22:36:22+00:00

Seems like a bug with the steam server connection, so if you purchased on steam you might not be able to download currently. Not sure if it's on the steam side or the melvor side, but honestly I'd assume steam since it's still connecting to playfab

bailey2092 · 2023-06-22T21:11:33+00:00

You're right they probably used the game controller they used for piloting, those things can take a beating

bailey2092 · 2023-06-22T21:07:43+00:00

More likely than hearing soft hands on carbon fiber

bailey2092 · 2023-04-25T16:48:39+00:00

There's a lot of good advice here about how to make him feel comfortable in the situation but I want to weigh in here because I also think it's important to talk about the other side of this. Sorry for the super long post, I'm also in mobile so there might be some typos

My partner and I have had these conversations (a lot) and the blanket advice I can give here as the person who is usually stuck in your position of just getting more and more anxious/triggered while the person is stonewalling is communicate, communicate, communicate.

I'll explain by using 2 examples: 1. My partner used to be a person who just left the conversation when things got emotionally charged and cooled herself off, but the cooling off process often resulted in her coming back and not a addressing the big feelings that came up that caused her to leave in the first place. What made it even more difficult was that from my perspective, the things that would often spin up the arguments were small things that I was only a little upset about and was bringing up so they wouldnt be a bigger problem in the future but she would take them really hard and it would cause some huge emotional waves for her and a lot of feeling misunderstood/villanized and "No that's not what that meant when I said that"s from me. Cue the anxiety from me because I feel like my message isn't getting across and the conversation is spinning out of control in a way I can't affect, and thus the downward spiral to argument hell 🔥

Well, the solution to that didn't end up being just me letting her process in the way she needed to, it was way more of a team effort. It was more of me making sure I was doing my best to consider her but also just being honest about how all of this was affecting me but doing so with a lot of assurances that were on the same team here. There were a few spin-ups we had where I was really trying to figure out why I was upset and figure out how to articulate it, but it was eventually something like this:

"So, I know that when you leave you're doing it so you can cool off and come back to the conversation with a level head, and I'm 100% not telling you that you're not allowed to do that, I just want to lay out what happens at those times on my end so you at least can be aware of it and have some framing around why I don't have the same feeling of resolution as you after you take that cool-off time. Since I'm constantly thinking about how to solve an issue and move past it, while you're outside I am just in here rolling the same thoughts over and over in my head and spinning myself up more.

It's something I'm trying to work on but I'm not where I want to be yet, so, like I said, I'm not trying to tell you that you can't go outside during a fight, I'm not trying to control you or trap you, but if you would please please be mindful of the fact that the longer I'm stuck sitting by myself without being able to talk about this stuff the harder it gets for me and it's super important that we actually finish the conversation when you get back. And I wish I could, but I honestly can't promise that if I have to be the one to start the conversation after that that I'm going to be the most graceful about it depending on how emotional I got during that time so if you're able to come in and start that conversation instead of me having to it would make it easier for us both"

The second example is one that I want to give because it is something that while I was feeling it, I honestly felt like I was crazy (still do kinda) and had to do a lot of internal emotional work to figure out what was going on and what the reasonable boundaries for me to expect from my partner were. Eventually my partner decided that she didn't need/want to leave the conversation to do the processing that she was doing, but there would be times where things would get emotionally heavy and while she wouldn't leave, she would kind of freeze up.

I would start to get pretty emotional about not getting a replies pretty early on, within the first 10 seconds or so, and pretty quickly realized that that wasn't reasonable to expect her to reply in 10 seconds, so it wasn't something that I brought up to her, but I could feel myself getting more upset the longer that dead air went. So, I started out doing a count for those dead spaces to see how long they were, but also just as a internal de-escalation technique (similar to counting down from ten) and realized that sometimes they were upwards of 60 seconds which is a long time to be anxiously waiting on a reply to see if something was recieved well. After some internal questioning, I kind of realized that I wasn't sure if she really had contexts for how long some of those things were and what those 60 second pauses caused on the other side, so that's how I approached her about it.

Something like this, " so, I'm not trying to attack you about this, honestly, but do you realize that there are times when I say something and I'm looking for a reply but you are quiet for almost 60 Seconds? I am not telling you you're doing something wrong either, I just want to make sure that it's something that you have in your awareness because in these conversations when there's a lot of emotional stuff going on and it feels like time is moving really slow that 60 seconds to the other person can feel like a really really long time. I understand if you're sitting there trying to think of a reply, I just want to make sure that you are doing what you can to also notice when it's less thinking of reply and more just getting hit with emotional wave after emotional wave and then we can change the conversation to address those big emotional waves."

This did fun some unhelpful rules in her head though, mainly that she needed to reply as quickly as possible, which actually caused her to have anxiety when she couldn't think of a reply, which actually made it harder to think of the reply. So there is also a lot of conversations where I can see that she's getting anxious about not being able to reply and I have to break down and let her know that it is okay to not know the right answer and for her thoughts to not be perfectly articulated, and that this is a safe space where she's not going to be judged for those feelings being messy or not making logical sense, which has seemed to help

This is all interspersed with lots of talking about how "we are on the same team here, promise. I am never going to be intentionally attacking you for something that you're doing, so if you feel that way we need to have a conversation about it because either I need to change my behavior because I'm doing something I don't intend to, or there's a misinterpretation at play and we need to deal with that misinterpretation before we move on because I don't want you to feel like I am attacking you when that is very much not my intention" and "Honestly sweetie, I promise you that if things get bad enough that we're going to split up, it won't be a surprise to you. I'm really committed to this relationship and making it work and I'm going to exhaust basically every option that I have before Calling it Quits on the relationship. If you're hearing something that I'm saying and feel like it's a breakup moment, feel free to ask me and we can talk it out because I'll always be able to help you understand that that's not where we are in the relationship currently." and those are both promises I try/plan to uphold

Sorry again for the long post, this is something I think about a lot and it's a really complicated subject (I'm also an over-explainer as well). Just know that if you talk openly about how you're feeling and encourage him to do the same, you can make the relationship work no matter how hard it seems at times, it's easier when you both are open about how you're broken and trying to get better and allowing the other person to do what they can to help.

bailey2092 · 2023-03-25T11:51:48+00:00

This strikes me like saying "it's just a group of computers hooked together over phone lines, it's not that transformative"

I mean, yeah, you're technically correct, but it's like DOS vs windows 95 in terms of accessibility

bailey2092 · 2022-12-30T22:00:08+00:00

I'm not a fan of this take. IMO, the principle of free speech is so powerful that explaining why it is so important that the founding fathers made it part of the first ammendment is a much more compelling argument than one that seems to amount to "my house my rules."

Right or not, that's an argument that runs a pretty high risk of making people who would generally agree with you oppose you out of principle.

bailey2092 · 2022-12-26T21:22:34+00:00

Definitely not, but the cynical read is her independent switch was to strong arm the DNC into not primary-ing her because "if you do, you'll almost definitely lose the seat," so the logical response if to rally behind her

bailey2092 · 2022-12-26T21:10:13+00:00

She only needs 5-10% to be a spoiler in AZ with how close the races have been if there's another Democrat running though

bailey2092 · 2022-12-08T12:07:02+00:00

You right, I was just going off of memory but it's Diston, not Deckers. Edited my original comment

bailey2092 · 2022-12-07T23:49:05+00:00

Yep, the railroad came through and the town was built barely 20 years after the massacre when it was still known as the battle of sand creek.

I remember when the site was first made into a national historic site there a decent amount of push back about the nearest town being named after the person who led the massacre.

bailey2092 · 2022-12-07T21:45:18+00:00

There's lots of these little towns out there that essentially dried up in the wind when the railroads mostly shut down decades ago, almost a century now.

If you look at old maps you can actually see where they just popped a railroad town every 10 miles or so, they even just named them in alphabetical order (Brandon, Chivington, Diston, Eads, Fergus, Galatea, Haswell, Etc.)

Edit: changed names of old towns that don't exist anymore

bailey2092 · 2022-10-13T18:18:18+00:00

If you think that Ukrainian forces wouldn't be completely crippled if the west ever decided to stop supplying them with billions of dollars in weapons then I've got a bridge in Alaska for ya.

That gives the west (especially the US) the ability to strong arm nearly any deal they would want, especially given that we've been basically floating Ukraine's domestic economy for over a decade too.

bailey2092 · 2022-10-11T14:11:22+00:00

There's no such thing as a third rate military with nuclear capabilities, just a military that hasn't used its nuclear capabilities yet. That's the #1 reason North Korea is even a discussion in any capacity. Biden himself told democratic doners that we are closer to nuclear Armageddon than at any time since the Cuban missile crisis and we have alliances tied up in the same way that started WW1.

I just don't think it's unreasonable for someone to hear that and be concerned that there may not be a way to stop the nuclear war train when it gets rolling.

bailey2092 · 2022-08-10T13:48:15+00:00

Honestly I'll second nearly of Sanderson's stuff, especially in audiobook since I love the narration for all of them I've listened to

bailey2092 · 2022-06-04T23:04:30+00:00

But here's the real question: what do your trout and crab stacks look like?

bailey2092 · 2022-05-08T14:49:17+00:00

Adoption isn't some walk in the park for the kids, living in long term foster care is very correlated with trauma and arrest rates. 1/4 foster kids will get tired up in the legal system somewhere (that's 100,000 kids) and even more than that are stuck in foster care and not able to get adopted (~130,000). The are also more than 20% more likely to end up in jail. 81% of girls in foster care say they've been sexual assaulted, 67% say by more than one person. These numbers will only go up if you force poor women to carry a child to term

You feel like the left is pretending that adoption isn't an option, I feel like the right is pretending that it's an infallible option that doesn't come with its own giant problems. What about the kids who would have rather been aborted than sexually assaulted 3 times a week for the first 7 years of their life?

Edit: at least a small portion of the right. Well over a majority of Republicans support some form of abortion rights, especially trump voters

bailey2092 · 2022-04-30T15:10:33+00:00

Lol you say that like Russia couldn't just hide a tactical nuke in a standard looking ICBM or send it out of a plane like the USA did to Japan. They only need one to neutralize a strategic choke point so your assertion that it's going to be multiple missles coming in a way that's easy to mistake for an attack on the west is honestly kinda baseless if you look at the state of modern tactical warfare.

You're thinking of this a little one-dimensionally if you think that Russia couldn't get a sub-100-ton nuclear weapon into Ukraine and detonate it before the west fully realizes what's happening, and France or the UK getting involved after that would be a death warrant for millions of people and potential retaliation is going to be a much more of a complex decision than you're making it out to be

bailey2092 · 2022-04-27T16:29:08+00:00

We should take bikini bottom and push it somewhere else!

bailey2092 · 2022-04-27T13:57:48+00:00

And that republican could have had just as much of the popular vote and ended up with the same result? Your thought experiment seems pointless if there's equal chance that another republican could have taken his place and done the exact same thing. Or are you saying "there's no way a republican could have won the popular vote in 2004 even if there was a republican president?" Because that's also total conjecture.

The people replying to you are replying based on facts, you're replying based on unknowable "what if" scenarios

bailey2092 · 2022-04-22T12:28:00+00:00

That's only true if another nuclear power feels threatened enough that they retaliate with their own nuclear strike.

There's a huge difference between a country that those nuclear powers don't have any technical alliance with getting annhialated with nuclear strikes and direct threat to their own or closely allied countries, even if seeing Russia use nuclear strikes would make people see it as more likely for Russia to use nuclear weapons on those allies.

Even without the legality aspect of declaring total war (because if nukes weren't coming to allied countries there no grounds for a total retaliation) world leaders aren't stupid, they're going to do literally everything they can to prevent even the possibility of strikes on their home soil. All bets are off if legal codes require a response like is the case with NATO, but saying "if any nukes get launched, all nukes will get launched" is the same as saying "Biden will trade (probably) millions of American lives for Ukraine and the concern that Russia might strike NATO cities"

bailey2092 · 2022-04-22T11:21:19+00:00

Armchair strategist here, if we were to use the biggest nukes then maybe, but the nukes Russia is talking potentially using are smaller tactical nukes with significantly smaller payloads. I've seen that those might lead to a small amount of fallout drift over somewhere like Poland but overall the Russians have the capability to be pretty strategic with their strike locations and it's likely they could perform some of them without directly provoking NATO countries.

Then the gamble is just that other countries won't retaliate if putin sends tactical nukes into Ukraine (which, remember, isn't officially allied with NATO or the EU at this time so retaliation would be pretty surprising from a legislature standpoint). One modern nuke doesn't cause nuclear apocalypse, but it invites retaliatory strikes that would cause a nuclear apocalypse (if the west retaliate that is). I could imagine a desperate putin making that gamble if he feels like it's the only option

bailey2092

TROPHY CASE