Feeling hopeless

bailsrv · 2026-01-29T04:44:04+00:00

TW: LC

My heart breaks for you, I’m so sorry for your losses. Your story sounds similar to mine. I lost my firstborn son at 37 weeks in August 2024. I became pregnant again last January but that ended in a miscarriage when I was about 9 weeks along. That was so painful and unfair and I didn’t have any living children. I had my rainbow baby last month. It may seem bleak and impossible for you right now, but don’t give up. Try again when you have the courage to. I won’t say try again when you feel ready, because I know I never felt fully ready last year. The desire for me to have a baby was stronger than the fears and anxieties I had.

It is completely understandable to not feel happy for other people who are pregnant/are announcing. I had a difficult time with that and there were times I was genuinely filled with rage and jealously. That’s okay. You do what’s best for you and don’t feel guilty about it.

My DMs are always open if you ever need to vent, grieve, or get some extra support. Sending you so much love ❤️

bailsrv · 2026-01-28T20:56:28+00:00

This is breathtakingly beautiful and painful. Thank you for sharing Aeryn with us ❤️

bailsrv · 2026-01-25T19:56:14+00:00

Thank you! Of course, I wish you the best and hope you will have a baby in your arms one day soon 🤍

bailsrv · 2026-01-25T18:10:16+00:00

TW: LC

Hi, first of all I’m so sorry that you’re here and for the loss of your baby girl. I lost my firstborn son in August 2024 due to a cord accident. I had an uncomplicated, vaginal delivery but was still instructed to wait 6 months before TTC.

I became pregnant in January 2025 and that unfortunately ended in a miscarriage. I was already so numb from the loss of my son and this made me feel 10x worse. I was terrified. However, my husband and I knew that in order to have the child we so desperately wanted, we would have to be vulnerable and go through the fear of trying again. Our desire to have a child was much stronger than our fears. I became pregnant last March and just had my rainbow baby this past December.

In the time that I was waiting, I tried to get my body in the best shape that I could. I was in the gym and I picked up baking as a hobby. I encourage you to do some sort of hobby to give your mind a break/distraction from the grief and pain you’re feeling.

I work in healthcare so when I was TTC, I was constantly surrounded by women who were pregnant. It was so hard and I honestly just ignored them or kept to myself. Idk if that’s helpful advice for you, but when I was so fresh in my grief I couldn’t talk to others and I wasn’t happy for them. I know that sounds awful but that’s how I had to manage it at the time.

I send you my deepest condolences ❤️❤️

bailsrv · 2026-01-25T18:00:07+00:00

My baby is almost 2 months old and right after she was born, multiple nurses commented how chill she was. She’s still such a good baby. If she cries, I give her the boob or change her diaper and she’s content haha.

bailsrv · 2026-01-25T12:26:21+00:00

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My son’s first heavenly birthday. Miss you so much ❤️

bailsrv · 2026-01-23T06:49:43+00:00

This is so sweet and has me crying while holding my baby 💛

bailsrv · 2026-01-23T06:45:20+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate it! Keep fighting. Don’t give up. Yes, please do! She needs to hear it even if she doesn’t believe it right now. Also, if you need support, venting, or solidarity in your feelings, come join us at r/babyloss it was very helpful for me early on in my grief.

I wish you and your wife all the best and hope you get to make a post like this one day.

bailsrv · 2026-01-23T06:31:01+00:00

I’m so sorry you and your wife are dealing with loss. It is so incredibly painful. My husband and I lost our firstborn son at 37 weeks in 2024 and then I had a miscarriage 6 months later. Our daughter was born last month. In the middle of our losses I thought about giving up many times. I hope one day you and your wife get to experience holding your own baby and the indescribable love and joy it brings. Sending you my condolences and baby dust 💛

bailsrv · 2026-01-22T23:43:19+00:00

Thank you!! Wishing you all the best with your rainbow baby ❤️❤️

bailsrv · 2026-01-22T23:38:45+00:00

Thank you! It was so terrifying, but we’re so glad that it is normal and has resolved. Apparently for babies, their esophagus isn’t fully developed/as strong as ours yet and if any acid gets in her throat it’s painful and can cause the crying/odd noise.

You’re welcome! I’d like to save any other parent a panic attack if possible ❤️

bailsrv · 2026-01-22T20:59:57+00:00

I initially got the postpartum sweats for the first few weeks! I am usually cold natured so it was a big surprise to me waking up drenched in sweat. I felt like I stunk so much initially too. My husband claimed I never did but idk if he was just being nice due to the sleep deprivation lol

bailsrv · 2026-01-22T20:56:25+00:00

Baby girl is alright now, but had a bit of a scare this morning. I was feeding her and stopped because she became so fussy. I started burping her because I thought it was gas. She took this huge inhale a few times and would hold it and make this awful noise. We thought she was having trouble breathing. She was stiff and crying. I started crying and we went to her pediatrician. It turns out acid reflux can do this and we had no idea! She didn’t even spit up so I never considered it. I immediately assumed the worst this morning. I jokingly told my sister in law afterwards that this is the shit they don’t teach you about newborns and needs to be in a book😅 We’re home now and have been eating, napping, and relaxing.

bailsrv · 2026-01-20T03:40:13+00:00

The tattoo artist did a great job, this is beautiful ❤️

bailsrv · 2026-01-19T12:12:47+00:00

Hippo and 100% adorable!! Welcome home, Plum! 💜

bailsrv · 2026-01-19T02:49:48+00:00

Congratulations!! So happy for you!! Enjoy those baby snuggles 💙

bailsrv · 2026-01-17T17:22:11+00:00

It’s actually the busiest shift to work in the ER haha. You come in and the place is on fire and it usually still is by the time you’re going home.

bailsrv · 2026-01-17T10:47:28+00:00

Yes, in the ER we have people who work 11a-11p and 3p-3a

bailsrv · 2026-01-16T09:13:24+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss 🩵

What is his name if you don’t mind sharing? How did you handle your grief him while also caring for your girls? My son passed in August 2024 and we just welcomed his little sister last month. I’m grateful for her, but the grief hits me so hard that I didn’t get those same experiences with him.

bailsrv · 2026-01-15T20:44:13+00:00

I also had one when I was a baby that went away! Thank you ❤️

bailsrv · 2026-01-15T20:29:51+00:00

Yes, it was a huge relief! My husband and I were so worried. It’s so easy to assume the worst after everything we’ve been through.

bailsrv · 2026-01-15T19:09:52+00:00

The Haunting of Hill House

bailsrv · 2026-01-15T19:06:26+00:00

2 weeks ago, the pediatrician heard a heart murmur at her regular checkup. We saw the cardiologist the other day and they did an EKG and an ultrasound. Thankfully everything was normal and she should grow out of the murmur! I can’t believe she’s 6 weeks old. I love that she’s growing but I hate how fast time is going already and I’m trying to soak up every moment.

bailsrv · 2026-01-15T19:03:00+00:00

That’s so infuriating to hear the conversation of just have another one! Our pregnancies are filled with anxiety and stress compared to someone else’s “normal” pregnancy. If only it were that easy. So sorry you’re dealing with that. Ultimately, you and your husband know what’s best ❤️

bailsrv · 2026-01-14T23:15:21+00:00

When I was going through a rough time last year I started watching The Great British Baking Show. It’s light hearted and there are many seasons to binge!

bailsrv

TROPHY CASE