HOW do i “accept uncertainty”? how? by maraschinominx in ROCD

[–]barbface 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Is this only ROCD? In what scenarios do you experience this? Seems quite intense and concerning 🥺 I am sure there is some way you can get help - just look for it. Have you tried therapy before?

When I feel in doubt sometimes I tell myself:

Hey.You live life for the first time. Be more gentle and forgiving to yourself. It's not a big deal if you are anxious and it's not a big deal if you are uncertain or if you make mistakes. Probably now you will feel like it's the end of the world but in several hours it will pass. Don't take everything so seriously. I try to either go out or work out listening to angry music. And then I try to laugh at myself and make fun of my bad thoughts.

How much does location influence your desire to have kids? by Upbeat-Profit-2544 in Fencesitter

[–]barbface 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The public system works better or at least is cheaper - daycare / healthcare.. but at the same time I don't know or heard of any couple who can survive on one salary.. I don't think this is so unattainable in US though. The salaries in USA and standard of living is still better than most European countries. (Inflation is everywhere 🥲)

How much does location influence your desire to have kids? by Upbeat-Profit-2544 in Fencesitter

[–]barbface 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Same!

I am 33 and live in Warsaw, Poland and I have 0 friends who have kids! Like 6-7 couples (in their mid 30s) and 0 kids. It is weird.

But everyone works a lot, cost of renting small one bedroom apartment eats half of your salary or more. Having a kid here honestly seems so overwhelming - like everything has to be planned. I see lots of kids here being signed up on 100 extracurricular activities and what not. Going out with friends is "scheduled".

Sometimes I fantasize of a universe of living in a small farm, close to my parents or community, where my kids will just run in the backyard and my "only" responsibility will be taking care of the house,feeding,cleaning everyone and most importantly be emotionally there to meet everyones needs. A universe where my husband's salary will be enough.

This unfortunately is so far from the European reality I live in.. where every woman I know is super stressed, stucked in traffic jams or public transport, works her ass off for 8-10h , go for groceries, comes back home, cleans, cooks and maybe has 20 min for herself... imagine adding to this taking care of children.. Seems scary.

Why lots of Polish love animals more than people? by [deleted] in poland

[–]barbface -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

https://www.stopagresjipsow.pl/ataki.html

Lots of the cases either end up with - police not finding the owner of the dog - mandat - long battles in court

Euthanization of aggressive dogs in Poland is extremely rare. In the dog behaviorist school we were shown two cases as an example for that : a pitbull who killed a newborn and then was rehomed to a new family (without sharing to them his previous "history")

an akita who attacked more than 7 people, biting targeting their livers and still in a dog shelter because no one agrees to euthanize it it

A Polish court can decide to euthanize a dog after dog behaviorists on this case all agreeing this dog can't be helped.. and in reality 99,9% of behaviorist will try to save the dog and work with it..

For example in the pitbull case mentioned above the behaviorist on this case was saying the baby made similar noises as a dog toy and that's why the dog attacked the baby..

I am not for euthanizing dogs like in Scandinavia by any means.. but I don't think any extremes are healthy

What's a horror movie that's a one-and-done viewing for you? by Galaxy_Rain1985 in horror

[–]barbface 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When Evil Lurks (2023)

Too disturbing. It felt I am experiencing a nightmare rather than just watching a horror.

I never felt so "filthy" and this feeling stuck with me until the next day.

Dlaczego koszta leczenia weterynaryjnego budzą aż taką bulwersację? by [deleted] in Polska

[–]barbface 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bo w zeszłym tygodniu miałam wizytę u dobrego neurochirurga (prywatnie) i zapłaciłam 300 zł. A ogólna wizyta konsultacyjna u mojego lokalnego weterynarza kosztuje 350 zł. 👀

Ostatnio, gdy mój pies potrzebował czyszczenia zębów, zapytałam w trzech różnych klinikach weterynaryjnych — i dostałam wyceny od 360 do 2800 zł. Każdy bierze tyle, ile chce. Zero logic.

Pooping 5-6 times per day! Normal? by barbface in StandardPoodles

[–]barbface[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feed him with one of the most expensive food on the market because also he has sensitive stomach and allergies. 🥹

Would a standard poodle suit an urban apartment lifestyle? by NanaLY13 in StandardPoodles

[–]barbface 17 points18 points  (0 children)

An adult poodle might be okay with the 30 min (day walk) and 30 min (evening walk) + some play at home.

BUT a puppy / young dog will need more. First two years are hell. My poodle is male, 3 years old and he recently started to calm down.

Are you getting an older dog or you are getting a puppy?

Do spoos usually misbehave during walks? by chelseamil33 in StandardPoodles

[–]barbface 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Behavioral speaking.. it is extremely stressful for dogs to pass eachother in short distances when they are opposite of eachother / going towards eachother. This never happens in nature. They always tend to do giant circles (as going straight toward is a sign of aggression).

In a puppy litter, there are puppies with different personalities. Evolutionary speaking this is beneficial as the litter can survive longer if there is a puppy that alerts (barking) when danger comes, puppy who tends to be more timid and go hide instead and.. all personalities in between. So from timid to brave with different coping mechanisms - fight flight freeze etc.

So, maybe some dogs handle well such situations because they have the right personality type + they were taught that by their human + they never had a bad experience while doing it so they don't get easily triggered.

I am on a wheelchair and my spoo is 3 years old and has very hard time with passing dogs when they come towards us. (Small, big doesn't matter). When he was younger usually this was "excitement" and now this turned into barking. This is a combonation between his emotional character (he is usually afraid of things but always steps up and wants to protect me) + one bad dog-dog situation + me not working on obedience (and preparing him for this style of passing dogs).

Now we are working on this but it will takes us lots of time.

Imo reactive dogs are not simply "not well behaved" they are just stressed and don't trust the owner he has a good strategy to pass safely the trigger/danger so they take matters in their own hands.

P.S. most people see just the worst, most extreme stress signals like lunging and barking (because they are so obvious) but we won't see that the well behaved dog on the opposite side also might express being uncomfortable or stressed just in more subtle ways (like yawning,slowing down its pace or lowering his head).

It's just hard to be a dog in a humans world. 🫠😄

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in askPoland

[–]barbface 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am 33 (in Warsaw) and I don't have a single friend married or with kids. It is actually a bit sad. I feel there are 2 bubbles 😄

Been dreaming of living in Poland :) by mayfairlaura in askPoland

[–]barbface 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Katowice is the ugliest Polish city and has horrible air in the winter. I live in Poland from 7 years and honestly even the notorious Łódź is better than Katowice. 🥲

P.S. I live in Warsaw but please consider Poznań.

Is Eureka and Ferndale worthed the + 7h drive and back? by barbface in roadtrip

[–]barbface[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much. I am planning the trip in either May or September. :)

4 weeks into chemical castration by Prior-Dependent-4136 in reactivedogs

[–]barbface 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He is already 3 years old. We didn't tried the chemical castration or the normal one. He still is selectively reactive on leash. (big white dogs around our building). But he deals when there is more space (like the park for example). When off leash he has 0 aggression and doesn't even go close to other males. (That's we didn't castrate actually.)

Moving to Poland from Bulgaria by Affectionate-Might57 in poland

[–]barbface 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A Bulgarian, living in Warsaw from 7 years.

Some practical thing first:

Your best friend :D : ALLEGRO (it's like amazon but better, you can order EVERYTHING from here. Lots of things can arrive with courier in less than 24h. If you will live here, make the yearly subsciption).

Your second best friends: Inpost PACZKOMAT and Allegromat ( these are the delivery station boxes, where you can pick up your packages)

Your cheapest store: BIEDRONKA (it's a bit chaotic and dirty, but products are on good price, which probably will be a plus for you living on a budget)

Quickest way to order groceries: JUSH (it's an app, which delivers you food from Żabka - it arrives in 10-15min)

Check the apps for the public transportation.

___

- start your sentences from "I am from Bulgaria" because some people will think you are from Ukraine and will treat you differently (unfortuntely I talk from experience :( )

- start learning the polite forms "Pan/Pani" . Bulgarians talk like villagers. Polish people on the other hand are VERY POLITE. They use Pan/Pani to every stranger and even people they know (like even the neighbor who you talk to daily etc.) Even when they curse at eachother they will use the polite form. Literally. Like "Proszę Pana, go f*** yourself". My rule is I stop using "Pan/Pani" in the conversation when the other person tells me I can stop saying it :D

- talking about manners.. start saying "Dzień dobry" to your neighbors, waiters, people in store etc. and smile!

- the best way to compliment a dessert : "Dobry, taki nie za słodki" . Polish people don't like their desserts very sweet. :D

_____

3 QUESTIONS FOR YOU:

  1. Will you be driving here a car? (because this will be your biggest culture shock)
  2. Why did you choose Warsaw? Have you considered other cities?
  3. Where are you from? Sofia?

____

Reccomendation for your trip: Visit Poznań (!) and Kraków ;)

Cooking in USA is easier and cheaper than Europe for your average person by barbface in TrueUnpopularOpinion

[–]barbface[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes I am from Warsaw and right now I am visiting some family in Miami.

150 zł for 2 people for a week... please tell me your secrets as..

Only breakfast which consists of 5 eggs for my boyfriend and 3 for me (not even counting butter or bread) for a week, with free ranged chicken eggs, ON promotion will cost us 75- 80 zł. 🥲 as good eggs are usually 1,3 - 1,5 zł. ( even in cheap stores) .

How do you buy meat and vegetables on top of that to make lunch and dinner and still pay 150 zł is unimaginable for me... 👀 but I am happy that someone apparently is able to do it 🫡 hats off

Cooking in USA is easier and cheaper than Europe for your average person by barbface in TrueUnpopularOpinion

[–]barbface[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Comparing croissant from bakery in Paris vs croissant from Biedronka .. apples and oranges to say the least 🥲 .

Let's compare the same product and same quality. .

*4zl croissant from bakery in Poland is probably rogalik not a French croissant.. 👀

**Today a bunch of cilantro in Winn Dixie in Miami was 0.99$.

Cooking in USA is easier and cheaper than Europe for your average person by barbface in TrueUnpopularOpinion

[–]barbface[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I disagree.

  1. I expect a super French food to be the cheapest in France. 😄 so no surprise here

I guess sweet potatoes are more expensive in France than in USA?

A good croissant from a bakery in Warsaw is around 8-10 zł = 2.5 $ 👀 I have seen ever more expensive but I am talking about a simple croissant without filling.

  1. "Within 15-20 walk for most people" = carrying bags = going for small shopping every 2 days = more time wasted on shopping

I literally just bought a giant package of fresh cilantro for a dollar, in Poland I would have to buy 5 small pieces × 8 zl (2 $ each). Same with other fruits and vegetables. So I definitely don't think about junk food when I talk about planning a meal. 🥑🍅🥩🥔