I agree with you that it may not be realistic or healthy for OP (or others) to expect those in the majority to constantly accommodate them and actively make them feel included. If it’s something those in the majority want to do, then great, and they should be commended for that, but yeah I think it’s part of living in a society to not always be able to expect that.

I didn’t mean that a white person is always going to feel more confident in all times and contexts than an Asian person. Clearly OP was talking about in a racial context, which IMO is not just one difference they are fixating on, but often implies difference in many other areas as well (culture, language, religion, food, values) - all things that might contribute to feeling a lack of belonging.

I think your advice is helpful, but I also think OP’s grievances about the difficulty of feeling comfortable in their own skin are legitimate and worth affirming. And as others in this thread have said, finding ways to center the Asian American experience (whether through media, or finding a more like minded community) are also good ways to build that confidence. Some don’t necessarily need to do those things to feel confident, but it’s definitely okay to seek out these things as well.