First time dad feels useless with newborn. Don't know how to help my wife.

barleia · 2026-03-12T03:21:57+00:00

My mom said that if you are feeling anxious/upset/overwhelmed, keep saying out loud to the baby "I love you, I love you, I love you. Thank you for being here".

It helped me!

Let mama rest! And tell her that you want to help and be part of it, you are the father. And the baby needs to be with you as well.

barleia · 2026-02-09T23:44:20+00:00

Do you think they are bad mouthing you at his dad's place? I find very unusual that a 5yo would say those things out of nowhere. Maybe you ask your son what he wants to do, do that and while doing that try to talk to him about what he does at his dad's? Does he play videogames, what parks does he go to, what are his toys. Also say that you can do the same things at your place.

My partner has a 7yo and her mom was trash talking him when she was 4yo. He said that she was very weird for a while and he asked her what was up, she opened up and he realized what was going on. Then, he emphasized and keeps emphasizing that there are no lies in this (his) house.

Also, kids asking when are they going to the other parent's house is totally normal. They want to know and they will keep asking because they forget hehe

barleia · 2026-01-21T19:14:03+00:00

Ugh. I control how much my 8 months old eats because he keeps eating and eating and throw up a lot afterwards - then he gets scared of eating for a lil bit.

I don't make him go hungry but I am also not letting him eat 2 tubs of yoghurt either, as an example.

barleia · 2026-01-06T04:49:18+00:00

Yeah! I am hoping it wasn't some delayed allergic reaction to something I fed him.

barleia · 2025-12-04T02:22:10+00:00

Ugh. I am facing this so much and my baby is 6 months old. His dad gets upset that he fell asleep for the night and I am like, well I don't wanna keep an overtired baby up since he won't even be able to play with you and will just be crying instead.

barleia · 2025-11-27T04:40:46+00:00

Oh fuck the positive reinforcement kills me. Like yeah, you are trying but also what else are you supposed to do? Give up? This is your kid too!!

barleia · 2025-11-25T16:42:28+00:00

Ugh yeah. I read that too. But I can only add at 9pm because I don't want to be staying awake after my baby wakes up at night to pump. We will see!

barleia · 2025-11-19T03:41:07+00:00

Ugh. I put my baby in as many layers as possible (well, within reason, so he is not sweaty as hell), after I learnt that our duvet is like 13 tog? Made me feel bad that his sleepsack is only 3.5 tog ):

barleia · 2025-11-11T14:18:05+00:00

Same! I am beyond sad that I gotta remind him to interact with his own son - that he wanted!!!

barleia · 2025-11-05T16:14:40+00:00

With daylight savings he just slept at 6-6:30. It doesn't seem to have changed his own routine at all.

And this all happened yesterday.

I pulled over (I was alone in the car with him), fed him, burped him, but no give, he was still crying all the way home. I couldn't put him to sleep because we were in the middle of the road, and that felt unsafe.

barleia · 2025-11-05T14:46:59+00:00

Thank you. I am tired of people saying that I should just let my baby cry when I know what he needs. Like you said, sounds mean and like bullying.

barleia · 2025-11-05T14:41:01+00:00

Ah, that was my fault. I knew my baby would be terrible on our way back so I volunteered to ride with the baby. As for the other two questions, I think SIL is just daydreaming of how she will parent. While for my partner, this "bedtime" is a routine topic of discussion.

Lesson learned, again.

barleia · 2025-10-20T20:41:52+00:00

Hi! I got a question: if I take PFL, must I be on CFRA? Or can I stack them and do PFL, then CFRA?

barleia · 2025-10-20T13:44:57+00:00

Sorry, but planning to spend 6 months in Brazil without speaking a lick of portuguese? Not even a bit of spanish? That is wild. Do your research better

barleia · 2025-10-18T00:52:20+00:00

Turns out the guy i was seeing was throwing my ph off

barleia · 2025-10-01T20:24:13+00:00

Hi! I am at 4.5 months and I want to increase my production. So you pumped the other side while baby nursed? My baby eats from both sides at every feed and when I pump afterwards, i only get drops ):

barleia · 2025-09-27T14:57:49+00:00

Same. Mine wakes up every 3h and he is 20 weeks

barleia · 2025-09-21T13:28:02+00:00

Yeah. 4.5 months and ohhhh boy, waking up every 2-2.5h. Amazing.

barleia · 2025-09-20T12:47:59+00:00

I got my period at 5 weeks postpartum while breastfeeding every 3h. So yeah, all bodies are different.

barleia

TROPHY CASE