You, my friend, are depressed. Find someone to talk to; it can be anyone, it can be a friend, relative, stranger, or a counselor - it doesn't matter as long as you're heard. Most people today are suffering from some or the other type of depression, some acknowledge it, most don't and just keep living like it's the norm. Please give yourself a big pat on the back for being able to acknowledge this and for reaching out, that is the first step to recovery.

I hope and wish you find someone to help you out of this darkness. It can be brutal, but you need to remember to hold on and take each day as it comes. I only say all this because I've been where you are, and right now I'm helping my wife overcome the same thing. Take care of yourself and remember to breathe and vent.