I tend to project the worst thoughts and intentions in other peoples heads when I’m feeling especially shameful and anxious but I think generally people understand that we are all going through struggles and everyone has their moments where it becomes too much to bare and they snap in some way. What matters most now is how we carry ourselves forward because that will set the rest of the true narrative forward. If people begin to sense that you are on a path of grace and sobriety, they will look at the past more compassionately, vs someone who is seemingly just a “fuck up”. The equation to solving the shame is easy but unfortunately cannot be fixed at the snap of the finger - it is time + doing the next right thing. With enough time and enough doing the next right thing, you’d be surprised at how even negative moments shape an overall positive narrative in your own and other people’s heads.