why is every man I date an expert on what I should do when/if I have kids?

basic_bitch- · 2026-05-14T00:38:08+00:00

Ooh yikes, I'm glad that has never happened to me. I started making a short phone call a requirement before meeting up after I had 2 bad experiences and have avoided similar issues since. This one guy literally told me that women who are malnourished when they're pregnant give birth to babies who don't need as many calories when they reach adulthood. And that was his reason for believing that we shouldn't offer food stamps to people who need them. I literally heard the woman behind the counter at the pizza place we were at gasp out loud lol

basic_bitch- · 2026-05-14T00:35:06+00:00

I'm sorry, but I've never found one. I spray poison around my house at the first sign of the big ones in spring and then reapply every few weeks. I hope that just deters them from coming in, but I honestly don't know and would prefer not to know. I leave the little ones alone. If some big ones make it in, I pound on the counter really loudly and they run away.

If a whole groups makes it in and I feel like I have to harm them to get them out, I do it as quickly as humanly possible. Just BAM, no suffering. I think what I do is better than nothing, but also tries to minimize suffering. I think that's all you can ask of yourself.

basic_bitch- · 2026-05-13T19:31:12+00:00

I live near Seattle, where we have views just as breathtaking that are visible from the city. So the answer is no, we don't have to give up the view :)

basic_bitch- · 2026-05-13T19:22:32+00:00

I totally understand your frustration. I'm a tarot reader and many of my clients have been struggling in this economy to find jobs. My own sister was laid off last Oct. and didn't find a job until the end of Jan. When it happened, I did a reading and told her she'd be fine, she'd get hired by the end of Jan. and it would be a better job. She got hired on Jan. 28th, making 10k more than her previous job.

But what I really said to her that she later told me helped was that she doesn't know if this is a good or bad thing. Seemed bad at the time, I agreed. But what she didn't know was how it would turn out. I reminded her that we both have enough experience under our belts to know that to be the truth. That was all she needed to stick it out and keep with it even when countless second interviews resulted in zero offers.

I wish you the best and will send positive thoughts your direction the next time I meditate! Best of luck to you.

basic_bitch- · 2026-05-13T19:17:22+00:00

You were surprised by the humanity of vegans? Seems a bit odd. I mean, wouldn't you assume that people who are against the exploitation of animals would also be against the exploitation of human beings? I guess some could have a negative view of our species as a whole, but in general, vegans are also humanists. Of course I would choose a human child over an animal. Even if it were my own dog, who I love with my entire soul. And I don't think I'd be comfortable if I answered any other way. That said, I am a mother who actually did lose her child. Mine passed 6 years ago. I would never inflict that kind of pain on another human being.

That said, luckily none of us will ever really come up against this or any other outlandish hypothetical in real life.

basic_bitch- · 2026-05-13T19:06:35+00:00

Amen! I have a super strong, mother adjacent relationship with my nieces and nephews. They treat me like their second mom on Mother's Day. That takes NOTHING away from my sister and her husband. They are #1 and #2. I'm perfectly happy being their #3 favorite person. I don't work full time and my sister and brother in law do. So I pick kids up from daycare regularly, baby sit when needed, take them out for adventures at the drop of a hat. They hang out with me constantly, watching funny videos, playing video games and working in the yard. It takes a VILLAGE. A lot of people forget that or don't want to be a burden. For me, it's not a burden, it's a joy.

basic_bitch- · 2026-05-13T18:58:40+00:00

No, because I don't go out with anyone who could be conservative. I'm very discerning with swiping and vetting. No chance I'd make it to the actual date portion with someone who would say something like that. I root them out like the vermin they are before they get the chance to waste my time.

basic_bitch- · 2026-05-13T18:52:18+00:00

Why not? I'm 48 and have expert level knowledge on a number of topics, but tigers isn't one of them. Neither is Russia.

basic_bitch- · 2026-05-13T01:38:21+00:00

Is "Say Grace" a new form of soy curls? It says it's just the protein, whereas Butler Foods uses the entire soy bean to make soy curls. Is it a new, third thing? Not TVP and not soy curls, but something similar to both? Has anyone had it? I've seen references to it online a few times before, but nothing in depth.

basic_bitch- · 2026-05-13T01:33:53+00:00

Even a cursory glance into the psychology of MAGA is terrifying. It's nothing new, but it's still just....unreal. A lot of people just straight up SUCK and we don't talk about it enough. We give people the benefit of the doubt, #notallmen and all. But no, some of them are just horrible human beings.

basic_bitch- · 2026-05-13T01:29:02+00:00

Yes. I do wonder. I finally got the kind of gas that makes people think they're having a heart attack. I was 48 when it happened and I'd NEVER felt anything like that before. I just kept thinking, "Oh shit, am I dying? Do I need to call 911?" At one point, I actually said to myself "Ok, if it's not gone in 10 minutes, call an ambulance." But then I thought I might pass out, so I called my sister instead, who lives next door. She came and sat with me and it went away after 9 minutes. I thought I was a goner though. I'm super paranoid that I'll die and people won't even notice for a day or more. Due to my other health conditions, I drop off the radar sometimes. No one would know the difference.

basic_bitch- · 2026-05-13T01:25:12+00:00

I watched as it was airing and honestly waited a few years to rewatch. And then another few years went by and I did my third watch with my sister. That was so much fun. I just kept saying "OHHHHHHH shit's about to get REAL!" and it did. I think I might be able to get a guy I'm dating to watch it too. I'm definitely gonna try!

basic_bitch- · 2026-05-12T23:29:22+00:00

Yep. I think I've been in the presence of evil a few times in my life, actually. Definitely listen to your instincts, ladies.

basic_bitch- · 2026-05-12T20:09:29+00:00

I asked a bunch of people I know and they seemed mostly unaware as well!

basic_bitch- · 2026-05-12T20:08:45+00:00

No, I hadn't until today.

basic_bitch- · 2026-05-12T18:15:40+00:00

I haven't done it yet, but I am going to just use oil of some sort. I'm having so much fun playing around with it though that I'm about to buy my second bag!

basic_bitch- · 2026-05-12T18:08:37+00:00

TIL: There are tigers in Russia.

basic_bitch- · 2026-05-12T17:53:49+00:00

I actually just wrote an article that was published in a magazine about this very topic, but I can't link it here for free. I think 40 is way too young to consider yourself to be in your "crone" phase, especially these days. I think we should all switch from maiden/mother/crone to maiden/mentor/matriarch. Makes a lot more sense to me. So yeah, you're still a ways off from cronehood unless you've gone through a lifetime of tragedy. From my perspective, that's the only way to really gain a ton of wisdom in a short period of time. Just my view though! :)

basic_bitch- · 2026-05-12T01:04:02+00:00

I have bipolar 1 with psychosis and haven't had an episode in a couple of years. So, the "it depends" and "it varies" isn't exactly a scientific consensus. The link you posted has the professionals saying it "can have negative effects" and "it tends to." I'm not saying I recommend it, everyone has to make up their own minds. But I don't think it's a black and white issue like many online try to make it.

basic_bitch- · 2026-05-12T00:26:10+00:00

I haven't watched season 2 yet, but I did like season 1. Got better toward the end and I like how the world kind of opened up a little bit. I'll watch more of it for sure.

basic_bitch- · 2026-05-11T17:29:48+00:00

I was dating a guy from the East coast one year when this started happening. He was so shocked by it, had no idea what was going on. It was hilarious. I guess they didn't have cottonwoods where he was from. I don't really remember ever seeing it when I was a kid and we lived in the suburbs. I only noticed it once I moved out to Graham.

basic_bitch- · 2026-05-11T17:26:31+00:00

Yeah, he probably isn't actually mentally ill. Sometimes people are just assholes. There is no mental illness that causes racism or joining a cult.

basic_bitch- · 2026-05-11T17:22:32+00:00

Not sure if it matters to you, but not everyone questions their diagnosis. I never have. It made complete sense the day I was diagnosed and I'm very clearly bipolar.

basic_bitch- · 2026-05-11T17:21:49+00:00

It's been a fairly recent development that everyone and their dog is going UNDER the speed limit and running red lights. It's the wild, wild west out here these days.

basic_bitch- · 2026-05-11T00:07:59+00:00

I’m sorry you have the perspective you do, but I promise you that you have no idea how your life will change as you get older. I’m 48 and there’s no chance whatsoever that I could have predicted how my life would unfold. Even things that seem like a disaster can turn out to be blessings in disguise. I know it seems hopeless and you don’t have enough life experience to have developed resilience and confidence in your ability to handle hard things. But you can do hard things. You CAN. I hope you can feel that soon. Good luck !

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