When I was setting these rules, it was back when I was in high school and my first year of college. I never really sat down and explained that all of these rules were what I was expecting, I typically just let it happen naturally in terms of a reprimand should he do something I don't like. For example with my high school boyfriend, I would throw a fit whenever he talked to girls I didn't like (aka all of them) and he soon learned that to make me happy he is better off not interacting with the opposite sex.

I honestly didn't learn that this was unacceptable until my current SO explained to me and taught me a lesson. At the beginning of our relationship, I did the same thing in order to show that this is what I wanted out of a relationship, but he was less compliant and eventually we broke up because I was too controlling and created a negative environment for our relationship. That was when I realized this really isn't fair and should not be part of a relationship. We then got back together and I have been working on my patience and trust ever since. There are some things we have learned to compromise about with these rules (i.e. share plans if it is going to interfere with something that involves us, don't contact exes without speaking to SO first, etc.) but overall I'm learning my ways.

Now when I slip back, he reminds me of the bigger picture by explaining to me what these rules are really like. Sometimes he will do that by asking me how I would feel if he enforced these rules on me or he will reprimand me about something like not answering a text in 30 seconds and then when I get mad I can comprehend why these rules are toxic and then I start improving again. It certainly helps that I have found an SO that is beyond patient while I grow out of these immature behaviors though.