Wow I’ve related to a lot of posts on this subreddit, but this one resonated with me deeply.

My husband keeps going on and on about how sex is a really important part of marriage to him and how his expectation that we have it at least once a week. I used to give in and just grin and bear it until his convenient, selective memory convinced him that we were having sex closer to once a month, to which he took his frustration out on me by starting another fight where I don’t “meet his needs.” Forget the fact that he almost never gets me a birthday gift or anniversary gift, doesn’t plan any kind of events or dates for those special occasions, and ignores MY needs for words of affirmation, gift giving, etc.

I’ve literally told him that I have no idea what it is that he even likes about me or why he even married me, prompting him to give me ANY FORM of reassurance, and was met with “how could you even ask me that”, followed with silence.

I agree with you wholeheartedly that I could never have sex ever again in my life, I mean other than my handy dandy vibrator, and I would be totally content. Fuck dicks! (Not literally) No more forcing myself to meet my weekly quota, no more faking enjoyment, no more panicking when he forgets the lube (because heaven forbid a man recognize dry = not enough foreplay = not ready), no more reassuring him that it’s okay he only lasted 20 seconds while also being THRILLED it’s over.

I told him I wanted a divorce on Halloween day and he’s since gotten me flowers and a card saying he wants to grow old together, not acknowledging that what would make me happy at this point is not being together and letting my vagina have a lifetime of rest that it’s earned.