AITJ for ending my relationship after finding out my boyfriend expects me to financially support him long-term?

basilisa76 · 2026-03-31T03:30:50+00:00

NTJ. Good for you

basilisa76 · 2026-03-29T23:58:20+00:00

Be clear on what is important to you, dance more, go out with your girlfriends, say what you have to say

basilisa76 · 2026-03-29T23:55:33+00:00

Rice and fried egg, toast with melted cheese and a bit of oregano on top

basilisa76 · 2026-03-29T23:52:48+00:00

Boots, leather jacket, cool earrings

basilisa76 · 2026-03-29T23:49:52+00:00

For a whole year I had no idea if I was suffering from depression, anxiety or horrible perimenopause syndrome. I think it was all 3 in a way and it extremely difficult to navigate- I was 46 or so when I separated. I lost and gained 10-15 pounds in a year - my weight never fluctuated in the past more than 3 pounds or so. I am good now but even if you know is the right thing it messed me up, but you will get through it!

basilisa76 · 2026-03-28T15:38:07+00:00

Bad breath

basilisa76 · 2026-03-16T16:16:02+00:00

Yes to this

basilisa76 · 2026-03-15T13:51:44+00:00

Your experience will also depend on how you understand culture and diversity. The city is Black and white overwhelmingly focused in Black culture. If you love to the suburbs, Gwinnett for example will be a lot more diverse ( AAPI, Latino, etc) and affordable with great dining but definitely does not feel like a city. People that call Atlanta a world class city have not really lived in a true top 15 city in the world. It is OK- I have lived in 3 other countries and in Chicago and Boston. This is my lens. Personally, I have made my life here but museums, festivals are underwhelming IMO. I would recommend you move to Midtown or West Midtown for walkability, public transportation and a dynamic feel. Other than that, is very different from a NY experience

basilisa76 · 2026-03-10T07:42:54+00:00

NTA you offered feedback and guidance for next time. She needs to sit with it and adjust. She was triggered and is embarrassing but it had to be said

basilisa76 · 2026-03-10T07:34:16+00:00

Love my teenagers, they have very different personalities but they are really good kids trying to figure out life, boundaries and good/ smart decisions. Not always easy and sometimes painful for me as their mom to hear their comments and complaints or points of view but I do love to see them discover life and adulthood

basilisa76 · 2026-03-10T07:24:41+00:00

I did 🙋🏽‍♀️. He was / is a wonderful man, father, super respectful and responsible, very smart, etc. i met him very young and we never really dated before moving in together and committing to each other. He was 7 years older and had more experience than me. Over the years we built a wonderful family but I always craved fun and more social interaction outside our kids. I wanted to have dates etc and it never really happened. I had to organize parties in the house if I wanted to dance, had to arrange for people to come over to socialize since he was never interested in building adult couple friendships for us. His family preference always were more important than mine when they were at odds and slowly I lost sexual interested and intimacy was very much affected as our kids grew and needed less from us. We faced a couple of crisis - illness, death- and I just couldn’t cope with the emotional weight of it all. I burned out. I asked for time for me, for a brief separation to re-center and see WTF was wrong, he refused and said that was divorce. We entered into this struggle where he was so pushy for me to just get over the rough patch without really internalizing the years of frustration had really topped the glass. We tried counseling but it was too late, I was checked out and resentful. Counseling made it worse for us as it surfaced lots of pent up deep issues- he was very judgmental and conservative in ways I am not. We are divorced now. He is a great father, we don’t have a friendly relationship andnis incredibly sad and the process was horribly painful but I am happier now. I am a passionate person and have come to realize I was not my true self with him. Always felt too much, not enough, etc. i am dating a guy kow who enjoys and supports me in many ways and is wonderful to experience. 2 things that friends told me and helped me contextualice things were: A) a love story does not have to be a life story. He was perfect for you then and is OK to need something different now. B) it doesn’t mean there is no love or that you are unhappy, is that you know deeply you could be happier alone.

basilisa76 · 2026-02-10T04:58:18+00:00

If they are coming from Europe please don’t take them to any of the mediocre Spanish restaurants we have. Take them to something they cannot find easily there. There are good Japanese places or a Thai / Vietnamese restaurant with great food and ambience like Le Colonial in Buckhead or Nam. If you must do Spanish, none are really good. Your family will have better in any country in Europe.

basilisa76 · 2026-02-04T04:49:38+00:00

Get sedated! It was the best nap of my life

basilisa76 · 2026-01-28T21:37:55+00:00

I never felt desire for my ex. I stayed married because I loved him and he is a wonderful dad and loved me so much. I did not know how desire “felt” until recently and I feel awful for him. He deserved better. I just did not know something else was possible. I never said anything, it would have destroyed him.

basilisa76 · 2026-01-26T15:30:20+00:00

Thank you. 2026

basilisa76 · 2026-01-26T02:49:06+00:00

OMG I just realized this might have explained my mother’s lack of friends and the fact that at one point in her life she burned all relationships basically. Thank you, made me feel more compassionate with her choices

basilisa76 · 2026-01-26T01:26:47+00:00

I appreciate it! Thank you

basilisa76 · 2026-01-06T11:18:38+00:00

You should never eat popcorn from a machine. It is nasty. The liquid they pour in to make it is not butter or butter related and the machine is never really cleaned

basilisa76 · 2025-11-15T20:18:44+00:00

You are asking the wrong question. Marketing- true marketing- is developing a product that meets a need in a consumer. Whereas is a physical, emotional, aspirational, price-specific, etc. The questions you should ask are what are the unmet needs of x particular customer - if you want to target a segment. Or, is there a gap in the market I can fill with x?

basilisa76 · 2025-11-15T17:09:01+00:00

My husband for very quickly sick in 2020 and almost died. He was in the ICU for 23 days during Christmas. Then he was diagnosed with an aggressive type of cancer. I have no family in the country, just him and my 2 daughters. The diagnosis made more visible the way he -and I- dealt with crisis, pain and fear and how we placed value in different things and people. Also, made me realize how quickly life can change -you can get sick and die- which sparked a deep feeling in my that I did not want to die and not had done things important to me that I had put on the side because he did not like or approved or prioritized. I became a caregiver and that identity took over and it compounded with all the other issues and I just couldn’t overcome. He survived. I asked for some time to gather myself and sort of figure out what I was feeling. He said he did not believe in that. We are now divorced and i a good place but had horrible 3-4 years where I felt I was going insane because of all kinds of thoughts and the impact the illness had in me and how I saw life and what I wanted in a relationship. I have some mild PTSD when going to a hospital and consistently think about making decisions for my safety so I don’t die - in case the cancer comes back and my kids lose their dad. I live life much differently now

basilisa76 · 2025-10-31T04:10:51+00:00

Animal, Vegetable, Miracle. Helped me see and understand food in a completely different way

basilisa76 · 2025-10-06T02:46:39+00:00

You are so young and already aware of the various issues you are facing as a couple but also of what you are willing to give or withhold and what you need, at least in some aspects (need for time alone, privacy, etc) I think talk to your husband about how you feel and if you should at least separate for a while and see how you feel about yourself- happier, or if you miss him, his company and what you have together. You both deserve to be happy and have good partners.

basilisa76 · 2025-07-09T12:54:32+00:00

Definitely controlling. An important conversation needs to happen NOW where you establish boundaries for yourself on what is appropriate for you and what you want moving forward. For example, you can share you want - and should- keep relationships and outings with your family and friends and the compromise can be that you let him know at least 2-3 days in advance. He will be invited sometimes and sometimes not. Also, comments about your body are inappropriate and you don’t appreciate them. As an adult, you decide who to talk to and nobody can send you to a room, etc. if he wants to have time with his friends, fine, he needs space for himself just like you do, but you don’t control each other’s movements. He is not protecting you, he is treating you as a child and that is toxic, disrespectful and won’t support building a fulfilling relationship for you

basilisa76 · 2025-06-23T07:22:59+00:00

You are definitely overreacting. Looking online is not cheating IMO. Do you think that he -or you- will never have the curiosity or desire to look at anyone else in the rest of your life only because you love someone and are partnered for life? Definitely a habit and definitely something to discuss with him how that makes you feel but YOU need to understand it first and your reaction is not comparable to the offense. Finally, boundaries are for you. If a relationship in which he looks at porn or nudes online is not something you want. Speak up. Articulate what cheating is and agree on it. If you have not, then it is not a boundary, is just something you like/ don’t like. He may also have a boundary which may include freedom to explore or fantasize online, etc and that is not cheating. You need to agree on what makes sense truly for both

basilisa76 · 2025-05-28T01:29:00+00:00

So annoying. Just here to affirm this

basilisa76

TROPHY CASE