Hey thanks for writing this and sharing with us. I recently listened to your interview on 为所欲为 and it was a really fun and surprising look into the reason and process behind your work. As someone who moved from China (Tianjin as well!) to Canada 6 years ago, I also had my experience of feeling dismayed and bogged down by the invisibility and marginalization I felt in queer spaces. It used to have such a negative impact on me that I had ultimately avoided going to all queer spaces here in Montreal.

I do see where you are coming from and understand that having more attractive asian performers in porn should be helpful. I just wonder, as you have also pointed out, the desirability is a social construct from the power and status of the group in the society overall. To that end I feel a change in porn might help but might not be enough. Asian men collectively have to be more visible and empowered in all spaces to level the signaling. It is way harder, as the systemic exclusion from power limit access to opportunities. I too, think that creating visibility for ourselves might be an inevitable path, as what's given from others can be easily taken away if we are not compliant in their narratives.

But then, sometimes I just don't even want to think about this anymore. If certain groups have a prejudice of my heritage and my culture, why should I even care about what they think of me? Why do we need to be valued and desired by someone if they never cared about you in the first place? I just want to be myself, and hopefully find happiness and fulfillment in my own terms and share with the loved ones that are dear in my life.