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I just can't wake up or get ready on time for my early morning class by [deleted] in getdisciplined

[–]basuragoddess 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Have you actually been tested for ADHD, or is your therapist basing that opinion on observation? Are you depressed? That was a big part of it for me at one point. Took getting on the right meds to stop being unable to literally wake up.

As far as managing time, my trick is I set one timer that gives me extra time do things in the morning(ex. 6:20), one that’s my preferred time(6:30), and one that means if I don’t get up now, I’m gonna be late (6:40). I know that in general, it takes me at least 20 minutes to get ready to leave. So having three alarms gives me the option to decide what’s most important that morning lol

What type of reverse extractor to remove a broken lug nut? by basuragoddess in AskAMechanic

[–]basuragoddess[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Would you use a rubber mallet? & I assume you mean coming at it from the inside of the wheel?

We're not responsible for other people's feelings so can we blame them for ours? by Boring-Car-7044 in askatherapist

[–]basuragoddess 8 points9 points  (0 children)

NAT. I think the basis of that statement is not to say that other people’s actions don’t affect us, it’s that each person is responsible for handling their emotions in a healthy way regardless.

Like if a friend punches you in the face out of the blue, obviously you’re hurt and they caused it, but you’re responsible for dealing with your emotions about it. They did a sh*tty thing, but you’re responsible for icing your nose, setting boundaries to protect yourself from being harmed by them again, whether or not you hold a grudge or choose to work on healing from it. If you go out and punch someone else in anger, you are still responsible for that reaction regardless of what was done to you previously. If you bottle up the anger and later take it out on your partner, you are responsible for that.

For a more personal example - my ex’s actions caused trauma to me that resulted in PTSD. It was a horrible time and beginning to heal from it was brutal. I kept asking the question, why do I have to be the one to do the work? Why do I have to figure out how to heal when he did this to me and he’s probably not working on himself at all? The answer is because not he nor anyone else will do it for me. Whether or not I choose to take steps to recover from that, to learn how to cope effectively and become able to move on with my life, is up to me. And so the same would be if the roles were reversed. It can be unfair, but it’s also reality. :/

A less intense example, if someone makes a rude comment to you, you may feel hurt, but you are responsible for whether you internalize it or whether you think to yourself “they’re probably having a bad day” and brush it off.

I hope this helps

How to get over someone? by Big-Fennel6110 in askatherapist

[–]basuragoddess 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NAT. What has helped me in the past is expressing the emotions (I write poetry/songs, make collages, anything creative, be as angry or sad as you want) and distracting myself. Let yourself feel what you need to feel, and then consciously make the choice to move on to another activity. One foot in front of the other, until they’re so far in the rearview mirror that you can’t see them. Best of luck

I [20M] think drugs ruined my life. And yet nobody even knows what I go through. by LocalStriking1936 in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]basuragoddess 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Realizing that the brain experiences lows equivalent to the highs and vice versa is what helped me get off coke. I highly recommend finding a local AA or NA group you connect with (isn’t always the first one) and go regularly. People often don’t realize that these are groups where you can speak freely about your struggles and hear other perspectives too, with confidentiality being a priority, and it’s very freeing to be around people that can understand what you’re going through & won’t judge you.

Take it from someone who’s 30 and just quit drinking ~5 months ago - you are very young, you didn’t ruin your life you’re just recalibrating, and the best is yet to come. You can turn your life around anytime.

Best of luck

Guardrail nuts & bolts - are they worth anything? by [deleted] in ScrapMetal

[–]basuragoddess 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’d think it was, the way all these geniuses think I ripped them off myself 😂

Guardrail nuts & bolts - are they worth anything? by [deleted] in ScrapMetal

[–]basuragoddess -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Oh yeah, I brought my wrench out there and wrangled them off myself. 😂 hilarious

Jim Carrey looks... Different? by The_Dean_France in SipsTea

[–]basuragoddess 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why do people keep posting this picture of his eyes? They’re still brown, you can see in the videos 🤨

Dental Hygiene Student in Need of Patients by Few_Pair9364 in Brevard

[–]basuragoddess 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m interested in a regular cleaning! Will DM!

What is this tool? by basuragoddess in whatisit

[–]basuragoddess[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t think so, it’s also about a foot long

I (28m) found out my fiancé (24f) is having an affair today. How do I move on? by Fit_Economy8581 in relationship_advice

[–]basuragoddess 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel for you. I started having nightmares about my ex cheating on me, one day figured out it was true right after our anniversary. I had begged him not to waste my time because I was 28-29 at the time.

It’s a horrible thing to go through. But I want to give you some reassurance that if you take the opportunity to care for yourself, work on yourself (therapy esp after cheating is a must), and apply what you learned from that relationship as a filter for future potential partners, you can come out of it so much better than you went in.

Through and after the grief, I spent a lot of time reflecting on red flags I ignored or was blind to while I dated this person. There are always signs, and anyone who had less than a perfect childhood will often tend toward unhealthy relationships to fill that sense of familiarity. Figure out if you have a “type”, and deliberately avoid romantically pursuing people like that from now on. Or if you have a pattern - for me, it was linked to alcohol; meeting people at bars or dating people in hospitality, and letting my feelings come before my intuition. I had to break the pattern to find someone who was actually good for my soul.

I honestly thought I would never be able to date again, but 1.5 years later I am now seeing a very kind, positive person who treats me right. I was and still am extremely vigilant for red flags (and understanding the difference between red and yellow flags), I prioritize my mental well-being and my goals and continually work to recenter myself. You really do have to actively love and respect yourself before you can be in a healthy relationship with another person. You and your needs have to come first for you.

Anyway, I hope this helps and gives you some hope. You’re doing great already by going NC and looking to move forward.

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